Josh Brolin: Brand

The Goonies

Brand

[Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone]
Chunk: [saves the statue of Michaelangelo's David] Hey! I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol' Chunk.
[Chunk places the statue on the table, but it falls off]
Brandon Walsh: You idiot!
Mikey: Oh, my god!
[Mikey runs over to pick up the statue and hold the breathalizer in his mouth]
Chunk: [examines the statue] Look, look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha!
Mikey: [sees that the statue's penis has broken off] Oh, my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!
[Mikey tries to put the penis back on]
Chunk: Oh, my god.
Mouth: You wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Mikey: Shut up, Mouth!
Brandon Walsh: Shut up, Mouth.

Chunk: Look, how's that? How's that?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!
Brandon Walsh: You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me.

Brandon Walsh: I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!

Andy: Brand... What happened to your braces?
Brandon Walsh: Braces? I don't wear braces, Mikey wears bra... Mikey! That little...
Andy: Shhh!
[Andy kisses Brand again]

Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.

Brandon Walsh: [Rosalita screaming in spanish] What's she saying Mouth? Translate.
Mouth: No pen. No write. No sign!
Mikey: No, Dad. Don't sign it!
[Rosalita runs over to Mrs Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey's marble bag]
Mikey: Dad! Dad! It's my marble bag. The Fratelis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the boon docks!
Irving Walsh: [ripping up the foreclosure document] They'll be no more signing today or ever again.
[cheering]

Irene Walsh: Brandon Walsh! If you don't bring those kids back I'm going to commit Harri Krishna!
Brandon Walsh: That's Hari Kari, Ma!

Brandon Walsh: My new tires! They popped my new tires those son of a... I'm going to kill...
[Brandon takes a little girl's bike]
Brandon Walsh: [to the girl] Thanks I owe you one.
Girl: My bike! I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike.

Mikey: [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
[lifts up Willie's patch]
Mikey: So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
[takes a breath from his breathalizer]
Mikey: We have a lot in common, you and me. One-Eyed Willie. You're the first Goonie.
[the rest of the Goonies show up]
Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
[pauses]
Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?
Brandon Walsh: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.

Mikey: [calls for a bathroom break] Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room.
[Brandon heads to a different cave]
Mikey: Brand, where're you going?
Brandon Walsh: This is the *men's* room.

Irene Walsh: Boys, I am taking Rosalita to the supermarket. Now listen, I am going to be back in about an hour. Mikey, I want you kept inside. Brandon, if he's coming down with asthma, I don't want him out in the rain.
Brandon Walsh: He should be put in a plastic bubble.
Irene Walsh: I'm serious Brandon! That's not funny. He takes one step outside and you'll be in the deepest, absolutely the deepest, shi, shi, shi...
Brandon Walsh: Shit, Ma!
Irene Walsh: I don't like that language but that's exactly what you're going to be in. And you, Data.
Data: Data,
Irene Walsh: Data,use the back door from now on okay?

Andy: [hysterically] I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body?
Brandon Walsh: You've got a great body.
Andy: How many more years do I have before I get all fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look... like him?
[the Goonies stumble upon Chester Copperpot's skeleton]
Andy: [screams] AAAAAHHHH!

Data: Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?
Mikey: No.
Mouth: Sointenly! Where Motown started. It's also got the highest murder rate in the country.
Data: Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're going when we lose the house tomorrow.
Mikey: You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad will fix it.
Brandon Walsh: Yeah sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tommorrow afternoon.
Mikey: That's wrong Brand! It won't happen.

[Chunk drinks from a water cooler while the others try to figure out how to get through the floor]
Mouth: I've got an idea. Why don't we just spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?
Chunk: Okay, Mouth. That's all I can stand... and I can't stand no more!
[steps towards Mouth, knocks over the cooler, and tries to right it]
Chunk: I got it! I got it! I got it!
[rights the cooler, but the bottle falls off and breaks]
Chunk: I don't got it.
Mouth, Mikey, Brandon Walsh: You klutz!
Chunk: Hope it's not a deposit bottle!

Elgin Perkins: Hello little guys. I'm Mr Perkins, Troy's father.
Richard 'Data' Wang: We know who Troy is. He's that cheap guy.
Brandon Walsh: My dad's not home, Mr. Perkins.
Elgin Perkins: Is your mommy here?
Brandon Walsh: [sarcastically] No, actually she's out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.
Elgin Perkins: [feigning laughing] Papers, Bill. You can give these to your father to read through and sign. I'll be by to pick them up in the morning.
Brandon Walsh: Thank you.
Elgin Perkins: Thank *you*.

Andy: [Motions at Brand with eyes]
Brandon Walsh: What are you? Crazy? They're here.
Andy: [hysterically] They're here, they're here, they're here, they're here.
[Brand covers Andy's mouth]
Jake Fratelli: [whispering] There they are. Right there.
Brandon Walsh: [shouting to the others] It's the Fratellies. This way. Come on we've got to move! Let's go you guys. Don't fall behind. Let's move.

Richard 'Data' Wang: [Falls through to ship's hold; group of Goonies ask if he's okay] Data's okay! Data's quite tired of falling and Data's tired of skeletons!
Brandon Walsh: Why didn't you use the stairs?
Richard 'Data' Wang: Use the stairs! Stairs! The stupid guys tell me to use the stairs when Data's falling. If Data's hurt, nobody cares anymore...
Mikey: [walks down the stairs] Data's okay...
Richard 'Data' Wang: Then some guy tells me I have stupid inventions. I've been spending months and months studying on them and inventing them. God!

Mikey: It was a retropactum!
Brandon Walsh: Retrospective!
Mikey: See! That's what I said! You always contradict me... I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects!
Chunk: Kinda like us... Mikey. The Goonies.
Mouth: I'm not a reject!
Mikey: Take that stuff off, you'll get me in trouble