Max Showalter credited as playing...
Fred
- Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
- Grandpa Fred: [chuckles] I better go get my magnifying glass.
- Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so Perky.
- Grandma Helen: [reaches to cup them]
- Samantha: [cut to Sam's bedroom] I can't believe my Grandmother actually felt me up.
- Long Duk Dong: Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
- Mike Baker: It's a quiche.
- Long Duk Dong: How do you spell?
- Grandpa Fred: Well you don't spell it, son, you eat it.
- [laughs]
- Randy: [talking on the phone with Samantha] I was going to tell you something, but, maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad.
- Samantha: You may as well. Nothing could shock me anymore.
- Randy: Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear.
- Samantha: [screams] Aaaaaaaahhh!
- Howard: [Her grandparents downstairs are startled by the scream] Geez! I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish!
- Grandpa Fred: Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie.
- Grandpa Fred: Oh, I've got one for you. Knock. Knock.
- Samantha: Who's there?
- Grandpa Fred: Who.
- Samantha: Who who?
- Grandpa Fred: Helen, we've got an owl out here in the hall!
- [Grandpa Fred starts tickling Sam]
- Grandma Helen: Oh, Fred, leave her alone. You'll make her tinkle.