Edward Andrews credited as playing...
Howard
- [ring-ring, no one answers the phone...]
- Jake: [as he hangs up] Ahh, eat me.
- Howard: Who was it? Well what did they want?
- Dorothy Baker: [shocked] Sex.
- [on the phone with the police]
- Howard: What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... Hmm? No, he's not retarded.
- Randy: [talking on the phone with Samantha] I was going to tell you something, but, maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad.
- Samantha: You may as well. Nothing could shock me anymore.
- Randy: Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear.
- Samantha: [screams] Aaaaaaaahhh!
- Howard: [Her grandparents downstairs are startled by the scream] Geez! I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish!
- Grandpa Fred: Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie.
- Howard: Dong. Where is my automobile?
- Long Duk Dong: Oto-mo-biiile?
- [laughing]
- Long Duk Dong: [Imitating race car. Imitating crash] Lake. Big Lake.
- Dorothy Baker: Why, you little scuzzbag!
- [She kicks Dong in the groin]
- Jake: Yes, hello, sir, um...
- Howard: Are you the little bugger that's been calling up here all night and then hanging up?
- Jake: Would it be possible for you to tell me if there is a Samantha Baker there, and if so, sir, may I converse with her briefly?
- Howard: Yes it is, and NO you may not.
- Jake: Might I leave a message, sir?
- Howard: [to Grandma Baker] He wants to leave a message for Sam.