John Goodman credited as playing...
Coach Harris
- [Alpha Beta has been beaten by Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu]
- Coach Harris: Hey, Gable.
- Stan Gable: Yeah, Coach.
- Coach Harris: I want to see you, and the other girls, in the locker room, now!
- Stan Gable: Yes, sir.
- [Gilbert tries to get at the microphone, but Coach Harris and the Alpha Betas grab him]
- Dean Ulich: Leave him alone!
- Coach Harris: What did you say?
- Dean Ulich: I said leave him alone!
- Coach Harris: I'll break his goddamn neck if he doesn't...
- Dean Ulich: You will do NOTHING of the sort! Don't touch that boy!
- Coach Harris: [Gilbert gets shoved to the ground and the coach shoves Dean Ulich] Says *who*?
- Dean Ulich: Says *ME*!
- [Shoves Coach Harris]
- Dean Ulich: You asshole!
- [Coach tries to hit the Dean but U.N intervenes]
- U.N. Jefferson: HOLD IT, COACH! You just hold it *RIGHT THERE*!
- [a large group of tough, militant Tri-Lambdas face down the Alpha Betas]
- Coach Harris: You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope - "Someday, my son will grow to be a man." Well look at you now; you just got your asses whipped, by a bunch of goddamn nerds.
- [removes and throws his cap against the wall]
- Coach Harris: *Nerds*! Well, if I was you, I'd do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my Maker, and my *coach*!
- Burke: Well let's get those nerds!
- Stan Gable: Nerds!
- Ogre: Nerds!
- Stan Gable: What are waiting for?
- Coach Harris: Dean, we got a big game comin' up. I don't want my boys' minds worried about where they're gonna live.
- Dean Ulich: They should have thought of that before they burned their house down.