James Hayden: Patsy

Once Upon a Time in America

Patsy

[after switching Aiello's baby boy]
Max: So?
Noodles: We got a deal.
Max: To a very smooth talker.
[the gang cheers]
Noodles: Where's that switch list?
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: The switch list?
Noodles: Yeah.
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: I can't find it.
Max: What?
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: I can't find it!
Noodles: What'd you do with it?
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: I think I dumped it.
Max: What a yutz!
Noodles: Oh, Pat...
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Wait a minute, listen... Listen, Noodles. Noodles, wait, I remember... the boys' numbers was odd... even! And the girls' was odd!
Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: [sardonic] You took good stock.
Noodles: Hey, let's give him an even number. Eight... let's pick an eight.
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Eight... yeah, it's a good number.
Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Wait, what about the other pischers?
Max: We're better than fate. Some we give the good life, others we give it up the ass.

Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Hey, Noodles, get a load of this... Hey, scotch heating!
Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Yeah, a buck a cup.
Noodles: A buck a cup?
Max: Yeah!
Noodles: How much's it cost us?
Max: Costing us? A dime, including overhead!

Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: You know what? You know, I wish I was switched when I was a kid.
Noodles: What makes you think you weren't?

Sharkey: You boys got yourself a real martyr for a friend. Make it work for you.
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Yeah, but what are we going to do with a martyr?
Sharkey: Times change. Prohibition won't last much longer. Take it from me, a lot of you will be out of work.
Max: Go on, Mr. Sharkey. We're interested.
Sharkey: You ever think of setting yourselves up in business? All those trucks used to haul liquor, soon be selling them for nothing. I'm talking about hundreds of vehicles controlled by a national organization. And supported by a powerful union headed by Jimmy. Whatever you ask, there's no way he can turn you down.
Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: You gotta be kidding, Sharkey! Jimmy "Clean Hands" in business with US?
Sharkey: They won't be clean for long, with the hands he'll shake. Everything in good time.
Noodles: We're not interested.

Max: Ladies and gents, I drink to the demise of Fat Moe's speakeasy. Who the hell wants to drink here legally anyway, am I right? Okay, come on, Moe, set them up! Go on, get in there!
[raises a toast]
Max: Here's mud in your eye! Boys, let's drink to our last shipment! There's more onboard tonight than just booze... it's ten years of our lives, ten years that were really worth living!
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Yeah!
Max: Noodles... Noodles! L 'Chaim!
Noodles: [quietly] L 'Chaim.

Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: [Patsy and Max have Crowning at gunpoint and are trying to get Chicken Joe and Willie the Ape to release O'Donnell] Just swapping prisoners.
Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Fair trade, huh, chickenhead?
[Chicken Joe turns and sees Cockeye and Noodles standing to his right]
Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Union boy over here, for Mister Boss Man.
Chicken Joe: Well, look who's here - Fat Moe's boneyard boys!
Max: Which reminds me... how's that cancer in your gut comin' along, Chicken Joe?

Peggy: Come on, let's see if you can guess who it is...
Noodles: Charlotte russe, with a little too much whipped cream... Peggy.
Peggy: Hey, you watch it, now! And my prices, they've gone up. I work in a high-class joint now, and I get paid by the pound.
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: My Peggy, she's worth every penny of it too, my red-hot mama!