Blame It on Rio

There was one major reason to watch this movie: Michelle Johnson, and that's about it. The film doesn't offer too much else. Basically, it's a silly story.

Michael Caine ("Matthew") and Joseph Bologna ("Victor") plays some middle- aged guys who are going through marriage problems (bad marriage and a divorce, respectively) so they go down to Brazil to spend money since they're rich. They bring their late teen/young-adult daughters? Huh? Well, Victor's daughter is a knockout and they have a fling. Johnson plays the girl, "Jennifer," who shows off her breasts as much as she can in this film. This is why I and a lot of other guys saw this movie. In reality, there isn't much merit to this story, regardless.

This must have been a wonderful role for Caine to play! Caine, an outstanding and likable actor, keeps this film - along with Johnson's obvious assets - from being a total bomb. As "Matthew," his mind knows this a bad relationship and vows to end it, but you know what else "doing the talking" for him, so it ain't easy. Demi Moore, by the way, plays Caine's daughter in this movie.

It's really not a horrible film but it's pretty inane and crude in areas. The real shocker might not be all the nudity or sex jokes and lying but who directed the film: good 'ole Stanley Donen, who also gave us "Singin' In The Rain" and "Charade." How in the world did he get involved with this movie? Maybe Johnson was too much of an allure for him, too!

This film couldn't have been made at any other period of time than that tumultuous, garishly colored, love affair with dubious, cheesy excess known as the 1980's. At any other period of time, this movie would simply be overlooked as a horrid piece of meaningless crap. But not in the 80's, oh no. As a fine work of pure cheese, in the decade of cheese, this film is a sort of masterwork. Everything about this film is total cheese: the acting, the writing, the directing, and cheesiest of all, the music. Has a movie ever had a more grating theme than this movie? It even trumps "I Had The Time Of My Life" and "She's Like The Wind" from Dirty Dancing, which is no small accomplishment. And not only that, but the song is repeated several times throughout the movie. And oh, what else is there? Michael Caine's horrible hair, enormous glasses, and that whacky blue underwear he wears. And Joseph Bologna's insane overacting! Demi Moore's insane attempts at acting! And Michelle Johnson's ample nudity, ample bosom, and insane attempts at being seductive! One could charitably call this film an awkward misfire, but if you're up for it, it's a fine helping of cheese, and a good reminder that as bad as movies can be now, the 80's were the true decade of crap! Crap would never again be as hilariously crappy as it was in the 1980's, and Blame It On Rio is the king of 80's crap!

A comedy where a middle-aged man has sex with his best friend's teenage daughter would seem morally wrong on so many levels as to violate municipal zoning ordinances. So why my lack of shame in copping to really enjoying this movie?

Watching "Blame It On Rio" back in 1984 when I was 18, the following items appealed to me. 1. Michelle Johnson naked. 2. Michelle Johnson in white pants. 3. Michael Caine's monologues. 4. Caine's chemistry with Joseph Bologna. 5. Michelle in her two-toned bikini.

Watching it now doesn't change what I like so much as in what order. Michelle Johnson is an extraordinarily beautiful woman and an engaging presence when she doesn't have a crying scene, and I think I have grown to appreciate her in other stages of dress, but the person that makes this film work for me now is Caine, whose level of commitment to this film is a thing of wonder.

"Blame It On Rio" is a sex farce which skates around real human feelings with moments of slapstick and sitcom repartee. There are about 150 ways the film can go wrong, but Caine sells it by keeping it light and silly.

Caine's character, Matthew Hollis, is a sympathetic, awkward type whose life gets upended when his wife Karen (Valerie Harper) decides she isn't going with him on vacation to Rio de Janiero. So it's just him, his friend Victor (Bologna), Victor's daughter Jennifer (Johnson), and Matthew's daughter Nicole (Demi Moore.)

Victor rides Matthew about making the most of his new opportunity: "Is tasting life, creating a little magic, is that cheating? You're a long time dead."

Jennifer has her own ideas on what Matthew should be doing, which she unleashes on him at an evening wedding festival at a beach: "Poor Uncle Matthew, he never had a chance."

Her nude scenes still pack a punch, but its the stuff in-between the nude scenes that excite me more now. Caine with anything in his hands, whether it be grating a carrot or brushing his teeth, is joyfully amusing, and his one-liners as revealed "Alfie"-style to the camera are just a lot of fun: "He needed my help...it's like asking an arsonist become the fire chief."

Bologna also makes me laugh, but something else, too. In his own askew, over-emoting way, he's the heart that makes the film work. When he discovers his daughter has been seeing another man, he immediately settles on Matthew - for help finding the culprit. This accounts for the funniest scenes in the film, but it also gives us something to care about. You laugh at Victor's blindness, but you also feel a little between the giggles when he tells Matthew: "You're a rock."

The main problem I have with "Blame It On Rio" is it is not all that sharp in the one-liner department. Co-screenwriter Larry Gelbart was the guy behind "Tootsie" and the best years of the sitcom "M*A*S*H," but he and Charlie Peters don't produce an especially witty script. There are funny lines, but more duds than you'd expect. "I've always had a problem with nudity. Sometimes, when I'm getting undressed, I almost wish I could leave the room, know what I mean?" Matthew asks us at one point. Fortunately, the writing gets much better in the second half, especially in the last twenty minutes when Matthew discovers he's not the only guy keeping a secret.

Celebrated director Stanley Donen makes the most of the natural beauty and native music of his location while keeping everything as light and fizzy as a tropical drink. "Blame It On Rio" may be morally dubious, but it's solid Hollywood fun of the kind Donen delivered for decades and as good a film as any for him to go out on. And thanks to Caine, "Blame It On Rio" still holds up.

Now let me start by saying I love a good movie! I love a great script, engaging characters and brilliant cinematography.

***This movie has none of these things!

But it does have the type of storyline and pointless nudity that Hollywood seems unwilling to include in a mainstream film. This is one of those movies that was on HBO late at night when I was a kid and I loved it.

There's something to great nudity! We just don't celebrate it enough anymore! Plus Demi Moore pre-implants!

I saw this movie when it first came out. The theater was in a small town and there was nothing else to do that night so we went to the movie thinking it would be crap. Instead, I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my seat. I've loved the movie ever since.

Everyone knows the premise---Michael Caine and Joseph Bologna take their teenage daughters, Michelle Johnson and Demi Moore to Rio for a vacation. Caine's marriage is in trouble and his wife is vacationing somewhere else. They're barely settled into the home they're renting when Johnson aggressively pursues Caine and he quickly succumbs (like any man would!). Caine is guilt-ridden but cannot resist Michelle's considerable charms. Her father finds out about the affair and goes nuts trying to find out who her lover is. He enlists Caine in his search and many hilarious scenes ensue.

The setting for this movie is just gorgeous and the women are even more beautiful. This was Michelle Johnson's first movie and it shows but she does project a sweet sincerity and her va-va-voom body more than makes up for any performance shortcomings. Zowie! Catch the scene where the fathers find their daughters topless at the beach---this was well before Demi Moore had some "enhancements" later in her life and it is painfully obvious that she's extremely embarrassed by doing the topless scene. Michelle is a trouper though, lucky for us!

The ultimate reason to see this movie though is Michael Caine. He is extremely funny in this movie and I can only imagine how much fun he had making it----a guy in his 40s getting to spend a few weeks in one of the most beautiful and exciting cities in the world and having all these love scenes with a girl half his age and getting paid to do it!!! Caine has made a lot of schlocky movies, for sure, but in an interview once he said that no matter how dumb the movie was or how cheaply it was done, he would try to give the best performance he could so even if the rest of the movie was crap, the viewer could at least appreciate that Caine did a good job. That dedication to his craft is what lifts what should've been a "C-" movie like "Rio" into a "B" "B-" movie instead and when he's in really good material, makes it unforgettable.