Matthew Broderick credited as playing...
David
- Stephen Falken: The whole point was to find a way to practice nuclear war without destroying ourselves. To get the computers to learn from mistakes we couldn't afford to make. Except, I never could get Joshua to learn the most important lesson.
- David Lightman: What's that?
- Stephen Falken: Futility. That there's a time when you should just give up.
- Jennifer: What kind of a lesson is that?
- Stephen Falken: Did you ever play tic-tac-toe?
- Jennifer: Yeah, of course.
- Stephen Falken: But you don't anymore.
- Jennifer: No.
- Stephen Falken: Why?
- Jennifer: Because it's a boring game. It's always a tie.
- Stephen Falken: Exactly. There's no way to win. The game itself is pointless! But back at the war room, they believe you can win a nuclear war. That there can be "acceptable losses."
- Joshua: Shall we play a game?
- David Lightman: Oh!
- Jennifer: [giggles] I think it missed him.
- David Lightman: Yeah. Weird isn't it?
- Jennifer: Yeah.
- David Lightman: [typing] Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War?
- Joshua: Wouldn't you prefer a good game of chess?
- [Jennifer laughs]
- David Lightman: [typing] Later. Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.
- Joshua: Fine.
- Jennifer: He wasn't very old.
- David Lightman: No, he was pretty old. He was 41.
- Jennifer: Oh yeah? Oh, that's old.
- Mr. Liggett: Now there seems to be a lot of confusion on this next question: asexual reproduction. Could someone tell me please who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex?
- David Lightman: Ah-heh.
- [whispers something to a classmate]
- Jennifer: [overhearing, Jennifer starts to laugh]
- Mr. Liggett: [turns around and sees Jennifer giggling] Miss Mack! What is so amusing?
- Jennifer: I...
- [Jennifer breaks up into laughter again and turns to look at David, who puts on a show of mock innocence]
- Mr. Liggett: Alright, Lightman. Maybe you could tell us who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex.
- David Lightman: Umm... Your wife?
- [the class erupts into laughter]
- Mr. Liggett: [pointing to the door] Get out, Lightman. Get out.
- David Lightman: [typing] Is this a game... or is it real?
- Joshua: What's the difference?
- David Lightman: [muttering] Oh wow.
- Joshua: You are a hard man to reach. Could not find you in Seattle and no terminal is in operation at your classified address.
- David Lightman: [typing] What classified address?
- Joshua: D.O.D. pension files indicate current mailing as: Dr. Robert Hume, a.k.a. Stephen W. Falken, 5 Tall Cedar Road, Goose Island, Oregon 97...
- McKittrick: See that sign up here - up here. "Defcon." That indicates our current defense condition. It should read "Defcon 5," which means peace. It's still on 4 because of that little stunt you pulled. Actually, if we hadn't caught it in time, it might have gone to Defcon 1. You know what that means, David?
- David Lightman: No. What does that mean?
- McKittrick: World War Three.
- David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?
- Joshua: You should know, Professor. You programmed me.
- David Lightman: Oh, come on.
- David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?
- Joshua: To win the game.
- [They are in NORAD, watching the computer WOPR playing Tic-Tac-Toe and Global Thermonuclear War at the same time]
- Jennifer: What is it doing?
- David Lightman: It's learning.
- David Lightman: Joshua called me.
- McKittrick: [incredulous] David, computers don't call people!
- David Lightman: [shrugs] Yours did.
- David Lightman: [on the computer] Hello, are you still playing the game?
- Joshua: Of course. I should reach Defcon 1 and release my missiles in 28 hours. Would you like to see some projected kill ratios?
- David Lightman: 69% of the housing destroyed. 72 million people dead.
- [Types into computer]
- David Lightman: Is this a game or is it real?
- Joshua: What's the difference?
- Jennifer: [on the phone] David, are you watching the news?
- David Lightman: Jennifer, yeah, I'm watching.
- Jennifer: David, is that us on TV? Did we do that?
- David Lightman: It. could be. Oh, Jesus, Jennifer, what am I gonna do? They're going to come get me. I'm really screwed! I am screwed!
- Sgt. Schneider: So what, do you think you kids own this place?
- David Lightman: Oh, I was, uh, I was- I was just looking around.
- Sgt. Schneider: You know you're not supposed to leave the group, don't you?
- David Lightman: Yes.
- Sgt. Schneider: So why don't you get back there!
- [the Staff Sergeant shoves David roughly towards the departing tour group]
- David Lightman: OK. Excuse me.
- Sgt. Schneider: Go on.
- David Lightman: Thank you very much, sir.
- David Lightman: This is unreal! You don't care about death 'cause you're already dead! I know a lot about you. I know you weren't always like this. What was the last thing you cared about?
- [David and Jennifer attempt to find a way to get off Professor Falken's island to prevent NORAD from launching a nuclear attack]
- David Lightman: I think I saw one...
- [runs ahead for a moment and stops]
- David Lightman: What kind of an asshole lives on an island and he doesn't even have a boat?
- Jennifer: Maybe we can swim for it. How far do you think it is?
- David Lightman: No. It's uh, two, three miles at least. Maybe more.
- Jennifer: Well, what do you say? Let's go for it!
- David Lightman: No.
- Jennifer: [starts to remove her shoe] Come on!
- David Lightman: No!
- [pause]
- David Lightman: I can't swim.
- Jennifer: You can't swim?
- David Lightman: No, I can't, okay? Wonder Woman, I can't swim!
- Jennifer: Well, what kind of an asshole grows up in Seattle and doesn't even know how to swim?
- David Lightman: I never got around to it, okay? I always thought there was gonna be plenty of time!
- Jennifer: Sorry.
- David Lightman: I wish I didn't know about any of this! I wish I was like everybody else in the world, and tomorrow it would just be over. There wouldn't be any time to be sorry... about anything.
- David Lightman: [sits on a large piece of driftwood] Oh, Jesus! I really wanted to learn how to swim! I swear to God I did.