- Ann Sharp: What exactly do you do?
- George Adams: Exactly? Well, I'm a steam fitter, and a swamper, and a pumper, and a air-monkey, and a car toad, and a cinder cruncher, and a diamond cracker.¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ Oh, I'm a wiper and a mechanic. And then, just to keep myself busy, I'm the night watchman for the town here.
- Norma: You scrub backs as well, I imagine?
- George Adams: Oh, madam, madam. Our firm is world-famous for scrubbing backs... The only thing we can't scrub is a dirty mind. Now, madam, if you will kindly disrobe, I'll lock that door.
- Ernie: I must be goin' psycho or something. I smell dead Commies.
- George Adams: Oh, those are loyal American chickens. I got a feelin' the Summers produce house suffered some heavy losses recently.
- Ernie: Yeah, it's a very lousy smell.
- George Adams: Well, I'm talkin' to Floyd Summers.
- Ernie: Well, don't wait.
- George Adams: Well, what's it gonna be, huh? Now come on... gonna' be the GI bill or what?
- Ernie: I'm still sufferin' from combat fatigue. I'm thinkin' in terms of beer drinkin', fishin' and girls. And not necessarily in that order. Which reminds me, how is your sister-in-law?
- George Adams: Well, why don't you go find out for yourself?
- Ernie: Beauty, brawn and brains.
- George Adams: We raised her in an atmosphere of culture. Are you interested?
- Ernie: I'm keepin' my plans loose for the moment.
- Norma: George, what about our trip to Wichita?
- George Adams: OK, you can go to Wichita. Take the boys and Mandy.
- Norma: Thank you, George.
- George Adams: On one condition.
- Norma: Anything you say.
- George Adams: Before you leave, I would like to feel that our marriage had a little more passion in it.
- Norma: George, that doesn't sound like a condition to me. That sounds like a deal.
- George Adams: OK. Is it a deal?
- Norma: Deal.
- George Adams: Howdy-do.
- Norma: What do you want me to say?
- George Adams: Well, you could say, "George, I am consumed by a sudden desire for you and I would truly enjoy making love with you at this delightfully unconventional hour of the day." Or, you might even say, "Don't mind if I do, George."
- Ernie: See, a woman is a cello.
- George Adams: Huh?
- Ernie: A woman is a cello, and man must fiddle with great finesse otherwise no beautiful music is forthcoming.
- Ann Sharp: There's a peculiar fragrance in the air around here, isn't there?
- George Adams: Yeah, well it's not me, lady. No, it's the Summers produce house over there. They raise chickens. Sometimes the live ones smell a little worse than the dead ones.
- Ernie: Well, mornin' George. I hope I'm not interruptin' anything.
- George Adams: It's afternoon, Ernie, and this is Miss Sharp.
- Ernie: Mmm, hmm. Sure is.
- George Adams: Miss Sharp's here to do a story on the typical Oklahoma town with an empty water tower.
- Ann Sharp: It's symbolic, I think. You know, the locomotive going the way of your ancient tower.
- Ernie: You know, I couldn't agree with ya more. I'm Ernie Lankford.
- George Adams: He's our town bum.
- Ernie: Now that's not exactly correct. What I am is a Korean War hero recently returned from battle. I'm just working on the bum part of my career.
- Ann Sharp: A friend?
- George Adams: No, that's uh one of the Summers boys. He belongs with those dead chickens.
- George Adams: [George shouts to Olin who's approaching] We's just talkin' about you, Olin. Seems we need somebody with a little more brawn than brains to climb up the tower there, for the nice lady.
- Olin Summers: Heh. I knowed I was needed.
- George Adams: Who told her about the lady reporter?
- Norma: Ada May.
- George Adams: Oh, I tell ya, that Ada May. With just a little bit of training, she could probably be the greatest FBI agent in the USA.
- Ernie: [after shooting a bank robber] You know what I think, George?
- George Adams: Don't tell me.
- Ernie: I think I got homicidal tendencies. I'm just a homicidal maniac, that's me.
- George Adams: He was robbin' a bank, and he's still livin'.
- George Adams: Now look, honey, I'm not your daddy, but I feel a certain responsibility. And I wish you'd stay home tonight.
- Mandy: Why? Just because I'm goin' out with Olin? Olin is not going to do...
- George Adams: Oh, he is, he definitely... and he fully intends to.
- Mandy: We're just goin' to a movie.
- George Adams: Walk in or drive-in?
- Mandy: How do you know he's a wolf?
- George Adams: Look, I know, Mandy. I just know.
- George Adams: Ernie, Ernie, you're drunk.
- Ernie: I'm gonna kill me a buzzard.
- George Adams: Yeah, who?
- Ernie: Olin. Olin Summers.
- George Adams: Olin? Why?
- Ernie: He took out Mandy.
- George Adams: Oh, whatta you care? I thought you were hot after that... that lady.
- Ernie: George, George, a man can't marry a body. A man's gotta marry a person.
- George Adams: Do you know what a stationary fireman does? He looks at gauges all day. For eight hours a day, he does nothing but look at gauges.
- Norma: Uh, George. I don't think it's day work... You'll be working the night shift in Gunther.
- Norma: George, does this mean we're gonna be farmers?
- George Adams: Farmers sleep nights don't they? They eat whatever they grow, and they sleep whenever they want to. And they don't have to live in Gunther.
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