Michael Biehn credited as playing...
Douglas Breen
- Belle Goldman: Dear Mr. Breen. Point one: I have no intention of showing your tasteless letter to Ms. Ross. Point two: I believe there is a law against sending pornography through the mail. Point three: If you should be so ill-advised as to write her any more letters, I can assure you there will be no reply.
- Douglas Breen: Now I know why I haven't heard from you. Your secretary has been intercepting my letters. Obviously she is jealous of our relationship. Her possessiveness worries me. Has it occurred to you that she might have lesbian tendencies? I think you should get rid of her. I will put all of this in a letter and deliver it to you directly. I won't use my last name or return address. You know where to write me.
- Douglas Breen: Dear bitch, see how accessible you are? How would you liked to be fucked with a meat cleaver?
- Douglas Breen: I despise those desperate, pathetic people who intrude upon your privacy. Your happiness and peace of mind must be protected.
- [first lines]
- Douglas Breen: [voice over as he is seen typing] Dear Miss Ross, I am your greatest fan - because unlike the others, I want nothing from you. The only thing that matters to me is your happiness.
- Douglas Breen: [voice over] Your presence alone makes every one of your films a true cinema classic. I don't care what time they show on television, I will gladly stay awake until any hour in the morning.
- Douglas Breen: We will be lovers very soon, my darling, and believe me, I have all the necessary equipment to make you very, very happy.
- Douglas Breen: I know she's attractive. If you like that kind. But frankly, I think her brains are all in her tits!
- Douglas Breen: I finally had it out with that Hitler in the record store. When I finished with the despicable worm, everybody in the store applauded me.
- Douglas Breen: Sally. I want to kiss you. I want to touch you. I want to make love to you. Talk to me, Sally, I don't want to have to kill you.
- [last lines]
- Douglas Breen: [voice over, reciting his first ever fan letter to Sally as he is seen dead] "Dear Miss Ross, I have finally worked up enough courage to write you. You do not know me, but who I am does not matter. If there is such a thing as a soul which is the basis of all life, then you are my soul, and your life is my life. This is the first letter of what I hope will be an everlasting correspondence. Your greatest fan, Douglas Breen"