Caddyshack (1980)

Cindy Morgan: Lacey Underall

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ty Webb : For me, there's a subtle perfection in everything I do. I have my own standards, my own way. in everything I do. I've got my own standards, my own way.

  Lacey Underall : My uncle says you've got a screw loose.

  Ty Webb : Oh yeah? Your uncle molests collies.

• Ty Webb : So, what brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?

  Lacey Underall : Daddy wanted to broaden me.

• Danny Noonan : I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.

  Judge Smails : Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.

  Lacey Underall : [to Danny]  Nice try.

• Danny Noonan : [trying to make small talk with Chuck after Smails has introduced them]  Well, I'm going to college too.

  Chuck Schick : [haughtily]  Really... are you going to Harvard?

  Danny Noonan : No, St. Copius of northern...

  Chuck Schick : Where?

  Lacey Underall : [walking up with Terry, at Danny]  Hey Cary Grant... you wanna get high?

  Terry the Hippie : Wait a minute! I only got a little!

  Lacey Underall : Then split, OK Terry?

  Terry the Hippie : [leaving]  Sure.

  Lacey Underall : [to Chuck]  Bye, Chuck!

  [she and Danny grimace towards him, he leaves] 

  Danny Noonan : Guess I'm a little overdressed?

  Lacey Underall : Depends on what's underneath... come on.

• Lacey Underall : I bet you've got a lot of nice ties.

  Ty Webb : What do you mean?

  Lacey Underall : You want to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?

• Lacey Underall : You're crazy!

  Ty Webb : That's what they said about Son of Sam.

• Lacey Underall : This is your fate line. Looks like you're going to make a lot of money when you're older.

  Danny Noonan : Oh yeah? When? How?

  Lacey Underall : Could be in the market or on a game show. And *this* is your saliva line.

  Danny Noonan : What's it tell?

  Lacey Underall : How hot I can get you.

  [Lacey licks Danny's open palm] 

• Lacey Underall : I tried calling, but don't have a listing for "Mr. Wonderful."

  Ty Webb : What spelling did you use?

• Spalding Smails : Turds.

  Judge Smails : Spaulding, how many times have I spoken to you about your language?

  Spalding Smails : Sorry grandpa I forgot.

  Judge Smails : Oh Dr. Beeper, Bishop Pickering this is my niece Lacey Underall. Lacey's mother sent her to us for the summer.

  Dr. Beeper : Must be a nice change from dreary old Manhattan.

  Lacey Underall : Yes I was really getting tired of having fun all the time.

  Judge Smails : Ah. Ho ho. Ha ha ha.

  Spalding Smails : Double turds.

  Judge Smails : *Spaulding*!

• Danny Noonan : Guess I'm a little overdressed.

  Lacey Underall : Depends on what's underneath.

  Danny Noonan : Ooh.

  Lacey Underall : Come on.

• Lacey Underall : What do you do for excitement?

  Ty Webb : Oh, l - play a lot of golf.

  Lacey Underall : Golf?

  [laughs] 

  Lacey Underall : Nixon plays golf. I bet you got a lot of interesting stories about your ball landing in the road.

  Ty Webb : So what do you do?

  Lacey Underall : I enjoy - skinny-skiing, going to bullfights on acid.

• Lacey Underall : Who's you decorator? Benihana?

  Ty Webb : No, I brought most of that stuff back with me from Vietnam.

  Lacey Underall : You were in the war?

  Ty Webb : [limping and patting his hip]  No... homo. Much better now, though.

• Ty Webb : I'm a very qualified acupuncturist.

  Lacey Underall : Don't even think about it!

  Ty Webb : I'm just going to eat these. But, I want you to know about it. It's like acupressure but it's acupuncture. The slightest - prick and you wouldn't even know -...

  Lacey Underall : I'll kill you!

  Ty Webb : No, I did not do that. See. You feel looser?

• Ty Webb : Would you like a drink? Tuna Colada, perhaps?

  Lacey Underall : Anything, anything.

• Ty Webb : Let me just clean this up here.

  [lift up bow and arrow] 

  Ty Webb : Getting ready for the season.

  Lacey Underall : Duck?

  Ty Webb : No... dolphin.

• Lacey Underall : Forget the massage. Okay? And just kiss me, you fool.

• Ty Webb : You know what this is called in the East?

  Lacey Underall : Mmm, what?

  Ty Webb : It's the "Big Rub." You're very - very small-breasted. Just kidding, come on. I'll work my way down. This is the lsle of Wight. Careful. I'll move right down the Taconic Parkway, over to your clavula...

  Lacey Underall : Will you get serious?

  Ty Webb : That's a very "in" thing to say.

  Lacey Underall : Yes, I know. Ow! That hurts!

  Ty Webb : That's alright. Don't - you're blocking! You're blocking. You're blocking. Just hold on to your choppers. I'll just get a little more oil on us. There you go. Oh, now I've done it. You get that away from you. Oh, I'm sorry. It's like reaching under the rug, isn't it.