- General Thalius Slater: By tomorrow there will be no more Africans... at least not in the Houston sector.
- Brad Crane: We've been fighting a losing battle against the insects for 15 years, but I never thought I'd see the final face-off in my lifetime. And I never dreamed, that it would turn out to be the bees. They've always been our friend.
- [Slater is about to attack the swarm with a highly toxic pesticide]
- Brad Crane: General, if you use that, nothing will grow out there for the next 10 years!
- General Thalius Slater: Why worry about shaving when somebody's going to cut your head off!
- [Crane has found something at the ravaged picnic site]
- Brad Crane: [holding it up] Plastic. It's a piece of a plastic cup. There are pieces all around here.
- [he starts pointing out the other fragments]
- Brad Crane: Look. Look, there. There. There.
- General Thalius Slater: What's so significant about that?
- Brad Crane: I'm afraid to speculate. But, I think, the bees, did this.
- Major Baker: Are you saying these bees eat plastic?
- Brad Crane: No, no. But I'm wondering. Your American honeybee has a weak mouth, that couldn't even break the skin, of a grape. But it looks like this species, is tearing up, plastic cups, possibly to line their hives. Now, if this is true, they didn't, just get here. I mean, the invasion, didn't, just now begin. They have been here some time. Breeding. Increasing.
- General Thalius Slater: So?
- Brad Crane: Well, suppose these bees, are using plastic, to insulate their hives.
- General Thalius Slater: No bee is that smart.
- Brad Crane: Suppose these African bees are.
- Dr. Andrews: Billions of dollars have been spent to make these nuclear plants safe. Fail-safe! The odds against anything going wrong are astronomical, Doctor!
- Dr. Hubbard: I appreciate that, Doctor. But let me ask you. In all your fail-safe techniques, is there a provision for an attack by killer bees?
- Brad Crane: I have cardio-pep in my van.
- Capt. Helena Anderson: Cardio-pep? I've just read an article in the medical journal about cardio-pep! By some scientist named... Crane, I think.
- [Watching Crane pray after Helena suffers toxic shock from a bee sting]
- Major Baker: Can we really count on a scientist who prays?
- General Thalius Slater: I wouldn't count on one who doesn't.
- Airman #2: [radioing from a helicopter] Oh, my God! Bees! Bees! Millions of bees! Air Search Two-Eight to base. Bees. Millions of bees!
- General Thalius Slater: Bees?
- Brad Crane: Are you endowing these bees with human motives? Like saving their fellow bees from captivity, or seeking revenge on mankind?
- General Thalius Slater: I always credit my enemy, no matter what he may be, with equal intelligence.
- [Crane's explanation of how he got inside a locked-down nuclear missile silo]
- Brad Crane: That's a complicated story. It begins a year ago. But let's skip that.
- Brad Crane: These bees, General, are of joint concern, and they are killing Americans, without reference as to whether or not they have a serial number and are expected to salute YOU! So there will be no air drops of any kind until I give the OK!
- General Thalius Slater: Your OK, huh? Then just possible I can persuade you to attack this particular swarm, now that we know where it is! Attack and eliminate it!
- Brad Crane: Possibly, if you can explain to me, how you air drop chemicals, without killing the native insect life! If your chemical will kill the African bee, it will also kill the American bee, right?
- General Thalius Slater: Right! And better a few American bees than a lot of AMERICAN PEOPLE!
- Brad Crane: That is the point, General! The honey bee is vital to the environment! Every year in America, they pollinate six billion dollars worth of crops! If you kill the bee, you're gonna kill the crops! If you kill the plants, you'll kill the people! No! No, General! There will be no air drop, until we know exactly, what we are dropping, and where, and how! Excuse me!
- [Crane storms off]
- [final lines]
- Capt. Helena Anderson: Did we finally beat them? Or is this just a temporary victory?
- Brad Crane: I - I don't know. But we did gain time. If we use it wisely, and if we're lucky, the world might just survive.
- [about the killer bees]
- Brad Crane: We have been invaded, by an enemy far more lethal than any human force.
- [as helicopters drop special sound-emitting floats to attract the swarm to its doom]
- Helena: Won't the noise of the helicopters drown out your sound?
- Brad Crane: No. It's an entirely different sonic level.
- Mayor Clarence Tuttle: I know people look at me and think that I'm just the man behind the aspirin counter, but inside, I love you.
- Maureen Schuster: How lucky I am!
- Maureen Schuster: Attention! Attention! This is Miss Schuster. Please listen very carefully. A swarm of killer bees is coming this way.
- Dr. Hubbard: [Dismayed] They're brighter than we thought.
- Dr. Krim: [Defeated] They always are.
- General Thalius Slater: [Brash] Maybe you shoulda tried bourbon and branch water and got 'em drunk!
- Airman #1: [radioing from a helicopter] Air Search One to Top Kick. We have visual contact.
- General Thalius Slater: Identify.
- Airman #1: A black mass, sir. A moving black mass. Zero altitude. Dead ahead. They're hitting us! Oh my God! We're out - we're out of control! Ahhhhhhh!
- Dr. Krim: I'm studying Tibetan levitation. In a few hundred years or so, I expect to be able to just float around. Are you still writing dirty books?
- Brad Crane: Not this year.
- Dr. Krim: Raunchiest thing I ever read. The paper of yours on the mating habits of Bombus medius.
- Brad Crane: Yeah, those queen bees really are something.
- [after Crane leaves the missile silo's mortuary]
- Major Baker: I noticed Dr. Crane seemed uneasy in here.
- Dr. Krim: I can't imagine why anyone would be uneasy around all these *dead men*. Can you, Major?
- [Crane is talking to a sting victim who is hallucinating a giant bee]
- Brad Crane: [while the giant bee is hovering next to him] There's no bee here. I promise you, there's no bee here.
- General Thalius Slater: Who are you?
- Brad Crane: I'm an entomologist.
- General Thalius Slater: Bugs?
- Brad Crane: Insects, General!
- General Thalius Slater: Slater to Air Search One. Contact and identify outgoing objects bearing 183 degrees. Distance: 30 miles. Estimated speed: 7 miles per hour.
- Brad Crane: Look, what I do for a living isn't important. What is important, critical, is that there are probably other invading swarms and what these bees did here, they can do again, all over the Southwest and, ultimately, all over the country.
- Brad Crane: What happened here, Captain?
- Capt. Helena Anderson: I'm sorry, sir. You mean you don't know?
- Brad Crane: Well, not exactly.
- Capt. Helena Anderson: We were attacked by bees.
- Brad Crane: Attacked?
- General Thalius Slater: Doctor Connors hasn't the foggiest idea whether I'm on, off, on top of, or under this complex!
- Brad Crane: It's damn hard to believe that insects have accomplished what nothing in the world could have done, except germ warfare or a neutron bomb: neutralize a ICBM site.
- Maureen Schuster: How you feelin' today?
- Felix: Now that you're here, I'm just doin' fine, thank you.
- Maureen Schuster: Nicely said.
- Jud Hawkins: I'm Jud Hawkins. I asked these tin soldiers of yours if I could see my son and they tell me its impossible. No way.
- General Thalius Slater: Who is your son? Why do you think he's here?
- Jud Hawkins: Because he was stupid enough to join your damn outfit, that's why! His name is Mark, Airman Mark Hawkins.
- Mayor Clarence Tuttle: This isn't Pasadena. I mean, it isn't the Rose Bowl. But, it's by golly a pretty fair country town imitation!
- Felix: I was just thinkin' how corny your banner reads. Makes us all look like a bunch of hicks.
- Mayor Clarence Tuttle: Look, nobody asked you to leave Houston and come here to retire, you know.
- Maureen Schuster: Now, Clarence, that's not nice.
- Mayor Clarence Tuttle: Well, we've been doin' just fine with our Flower Festival for years - until this master mechanic and all-around genius came here to tell us all how to run things.
- Maureen Schuster: Well, actually, the sign is sorta hicky. But, that's what people expect of us.
- General Thalius Slater: Rude sonofabitch, isn't he? Never even introduced us. You'd think he was a general.
- Jud Hawkins: Look, I throw the switches that control all the damn water in this county and, by God, I'll shut yours off unless I get to see my son! I'll shut this whole damn base down in 10 minutes! Why, you won't even have enough water to flush your toilets when I get through with you!
- Mayor Clarence Tuttle: Maureen, how long have we known each other?
- Maureen Schuster: Clarence, maybe you better sit down.
- Mayor Clarence Tuttle: No, no. Thanks. I'll stand. How long?
- Maureen Schuster: Well, I can remember you in short pants; but I'd just soon not figure out how long ago that was.
- Mayor Clarence Tuttle: In all that time, have you ever heard me beg?
- Brad Crane: How will you prevent the wind from carrying your pesticides across cities, parks, farms, and schools?
- General Thalius Slater: Sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils.
- Brad Crane: Ridiculous, General!
- Dr. Tomas Martinez: You've got a beautiful six and a half pound, *beautiful* daughter.
- Rita: Thank you. I guess it's true what they say - that a woman sort of falls in love with her doctor at this time.
- Dr. Tomas Martinez: I hope you will feel the same way tomorrow.
- General Thalius Slater: Well, you dropped your poison pellets and the Africans spit at it. Now they're moving towards Houston faster than expected.
- Dr. Hubbard: General, you should know that the enemy's always expected to do the unexpected.
- General Thalius Slater: I can tell you right now, we're going to have trouble with that nuclear power plant. No way they'll shut down voluntarily. Millions of people in the area need the energy.
- Dr. Hubbard: If we don't shut 'em down, the bees will.
- Brad Crane: Captain, feed this into the computer: African bees attack a train 70 miles northwest of Houston. Now, give me the revised time figures, please.
- General Thalius Slater: The bees have formed almost a complete circle. Billions of 'em. And that's what we've been waiting for.
- Brad Crane: Waiting for what?
- General Thalius Slater: The battle plan is to get 'em all into one area - and then *zap* 'em.
- General Thalius Slater: So, the occupation of Houston has begun - and General Thailus Slater is your first officer in history to get his butt kicked by a mess of bugs!
- Major Baker: General! General!
- General Thalius Slater: What the hell's going on?
- Major Baker: The bees have broken inside.
- General Thalius Slater: Now what?
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