- TV Producer: We're trying to get a word here with Brad Phillips, organizer of the race. Brad, tell me, your race has been called an outlaw sporting event. Do you have any comment on that?
- Brad Phillips: Well, the police and safety officals around the country get upset because our drivers tend to exceed the speed limits.
- TV Producer: Are you saying you're promoting illegality?
- Brad Phillips: Well, no, no, I didn't say that.
- Linda Maxwell: I knew you couldn't pass up this damn race.
- [flashes badge]
- Linda Maxwell: Consider yourself busted.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: [shoves badge aside] Don't give me that crap, Linda.
- Linda Maxwell: Now, you know what happens to parolees who cross state lines without permission?
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: I don't give a damn about that red tape. My brother put up six thousand dollars for this car. I've got a chance to win with it. Our whole future is at stake.
- Linda Maxwell: One speeding ticket and you're back in prison. That's our future. Coy, you know how I feel about you. I've never pulled rank on you before, but I'm legally responsible.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: That's a technicality. This race is my last chance to get my career back together.
- Linda Maxwell: Oh, face facts, Coy. Your whole racing career ended when that girl died.
- Brad Phillips: [the LAPD is on its way down to Santa Monica Pier] Attention! Attention, right now, drivers! The police are on their way to bust the race. The post time has been moved up to exactly 60 seconds from now.
- Beutell: Shit!
- Brad Phillips: Every highway patrolman from here to Philadelphia will be out to nail you. I advise that you all stick to the back roads as much as possible. Gentlemen, start your engines!
- TV Producer: Hi, Dennis Caldwell here at the Santa Monica Pier in sunny Southern California. For the last three years, the appearance of this cryptic ad in Motorist Magazine has signaled the running of the Trans-America Grand Prix auto race. This underground sporting event is open to anyone holding a valid license, driving any kind of four-wheel, land-based vehicle. Contestants choose any cross-country route they wish, and there is $100,000 waiting for the sweat-drenched, hi-test hot rodder who gets his ticket stamped first at a certain garage of New York City's Lower West Side.
- TV Producer: [approaching a silver Corvette] Now here is an interesting entry. You kids look more like, uh, surfers, than you do racing drivers.
- Jim Crandell: Well, surfing is bad this year.
- TV Producer: Well, tell me, have you raced this, uh, uh...
- Jim Crandell: Corvette.
- TV Producer: ...corvette in any other race?
- Jim Crandell: Uh, no.
- Maryann: You see, it isn't exactly our car. Daddy, if you've been watching this, uh, everything's okay, we'll be bringing the car back in about a week.
- TV Producer: Tell me something. Uh, uh, uh, anyway, I sure wish you luck, and I'll bet that hundred thousand will buy you a lot of surfboards.
- Jim Crandell: If we win, we're gonna buy ourselves a house on the beach.
- Maryann: In Hawaii.
- TV Producer: [to the camera] Aren't they darling?
- Linda Maxwell: Coy! You're not going to make me drive all the way to the airport?
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: Hell, I'm not. You're my security, in case we run into the cops.
- Linda Maxwell: Somehow, I'm going to have to explain this to the board when we get back.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: Yeah, they'll love it when they hear about your method of rehabilitation.
- Linda Maxwell: [after Coy is unable to pass Wolfe Messer] I thought this car could beat anything on the road.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: This car's a winner.
- Desert Gas Station Attendant: [Jim and Maryann pull into a desert gas station] Hello. What can I do for you?
- Jim Crandell: I need a new fan belt, because this one's about shot.
- Desert Gas Station Attendant: Oh, I'm sorry, mister. I don't carry anything like that. You'll have to go to an auto supply place.
- Jim Crandell: Well... couldn't I have a piece of tape to hold it together 'til we get there?
- Maryann, Desert Gas Station Attendant: Well, sure, I can give you some tape. I don't know how long it'll hold, though.
- Maryann: Where's the nearest place where we can get a fan belt?
- Desert Gas Station Attendant: Mmm... about two-hundred miles.
- Perman Waters: [Redman has stopped at a roadside grocery store for beer and Perman and Sharma are in the car] Hey, now, Ma, I ain't kidding. I think we ought to cut this crazy sucker loose. I mean, I can't believe you let him stop for more beer. I mean, he's already driving like a scalding dog.
- Sharma Capri: Never mind. I got a better chance of handling him when he's pie-eyed. The front seat don't know it, but the back is still pulling the strings.
- Perman Waters: Well, I hope so.
- [He notices Coy pulling into the store and going inside]
- Perman Waters: Oh, god, there's trouble.
- Cameraman in Helicopter: [Coy is followed into the garage where he is to stamp the winning ticket] How'd you avoid the big pile-up, Cannonball?
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: What pile-up?
- Bennie Buckman: It was just a couple cars that crashed on the freeway. It was nothing.
- Cameraman in Helicopter: Nothing? You call seventeen people in the hospital nothing? It all started with the red Trans Am. We thought it was you, at first.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: Linda and Zippo were in that car. Bennie, what the hell's going on?
- Bennie Buckman: They're fine. Come on, will you?
- [to the cameraman]
- Bennie Buckman: Just leave us alone, huh?
- Cameraman in Helicopter: I saw the whole thing from the copter. I'm afraid the driver bought the farm. Somebody picked the girl up. Must have taken her to a hospital.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: What hospital?
- Brad Phillips: St. Paul's. Glenfield, New Jersey.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: [starting to leave] How do I get there?
- Bennie Buckman: [grabs Coy's arm] Coy!
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: Bennie, what the hell is this?
- Bennie Buckman: Just stamp the ticket, will you? Go easy on your brother. I busted a lot of asses to get you here, today.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: Busted whose asses?
- Bennie Buckman: Never mind. Just stamp the ticket and we'll go find Linda and Zippo.
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: [starts to put the ticket into the time clock, but stops] Bennie... it was you that blew up the German driver, wasn't it?
- Bennie Buckman: Look, will you just stamp the goddamn ticket? You can't win the race until you've stamped the ticket!
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: I won the race.
- Bennie Buckman: Coy, this is important to me. It's not just the money. My life is on the line.
- [notices Coy is ripping the ticket to pieces]
- Bennie Buckman: What are you doing?
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: [stuffs the pieces into Bennie's jacket pocket] Here, keep it as a souvenir from Zippo. If you want it stamped, stamp it yourself.
- [to the crowd]
- Coy 'Cannonball' Buckman: How do I get to the hospital?
- Team Manager: Come on, Coy. I'll take you. We've got a lot to talk about.
- [as everyone leaves, Benny angrily throws the ticket pieces on the floor as Lester and his bodyguard walk in]
- Lester Marks: Well, Bennie... you and I have a lot to talk about, too. Let's conduct Mr. Buckman to my car.
- [they walk towards Benny, who knows that his time on earth is about to end]
- Sharma Capri: [Redman slams his fist onto the car's ceiling, disrupting the radio feed of Perman's performance] What the goddamn hell are you trying to do, you Frankenstein?
- Sharma Capri: [Perman is sitting on the curb strumming his guitar aimlessly] You're going to mess up your suit, sitting on the curb like that.
- Perman Waters: Well, it don't make no difference. I ain't doing no TV spot, tonight.
- Sharma Capri: When this is all over, boy, you're going to be turning down offers right and left. You're going to be a star!
- Perman Waters: [sarcastic] Uh-huh. Hillbilly Hemp and the rest of them dead old boys.
- Sharma Capri: I busted my hump setting up this ride with Cade Redman and the least you can do is act a little grateful.
- Perman Waters: [Redman's Dodge Charger roars around a corner and stops] Holy Mother of Pearl! You mean, we're going all the way to New York in this cute-ass Cadillac?
- Cade Redman: [angry he can't hear over the CB radio because of Perman's singing] Hey, possum breath, I'm trying to find out about the goddamn red Trans Am! I can't hear anything but you bellowing like a dying cat in a windstorm! Now, boy, you either shut up or I'm gonna tear your tongue out and treat it like a barber pole.
- Perman Waters: [to his listeners] Well, I'm very sorry about all that static in the background, so why don't you good people just turn your crystal sets up and we'll try it again a little louder?
- [He starts singing again and Redman angrily throws the guitar out the window, much to the horror of Perman and Sharma]
- Cade Redman: That's for throwing the damn gun out the window!
- Perman Waters: I'm gonna have to hurt you, now!
- Sharma Capri: And I'm going to help him, too!
- Cade Redman: Shit. Both of you couldn't wake me up if I was asleep.
- TV Producer: [aggravated that he has run out of material for his news broadcast] Boy, what a lot of shit this is.
- [to his cameraman]
- TV Producer: Don't we have something else? What about that car race?
- Cameraman: We promised those guys we wouldn't broadcast that story until after the race was finished.
- TV Producer: I bought them and I can sell them! The public has a right to know!
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