Chris Barnes credited as playing...
Tanner Boyle
- [last lines]
- Tanner Boyle: Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!
- Timmy Lupus: And another thing, just wait till next year!
- Tanner Boyle: All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eatin' moron!
- Ogilvie: Tanner, I think you need to be reminded from time to time that you are one of the few people on this team who is not a Jew, spic, nigger, pansy or a booger-eating moron. So you'd better cool it or we may be disposed to beat the crap out of you.
- Tanner Boyle: We lost eighteen to nothin', Buttercrud, and the Athletics are the worst team in the league!
- Ahmad Abdul Rahim: *Second* worst...
- Tanner Boyle: Sorry, I forgot.
- Toby Whitewood: [as Buttermaker distributes jock straps to the team] What about Amanda?
- Amanda Whurlitzer: You ain't strapping one of these things on me.
- Engelberg: Well, if she don't wear one, I don't wear one.
- Bad News Bears: Yeah!
- Tanner Boyle: Anyway, it's too small.
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: [after team takes vote to quit the league] Do you want to quit, Tanner?
- Tanner Boyle: Crud, No! I want to play ball!
- Regi Tower: [Buttermaker passes out drunk during practise] Opening day's tomorrow! We don't know what the batting order is. We don't even have our positions set or anything.
- Tanner Boyle: All we got is a cruddy alky for a manager!
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: All right, boys. Let's go. Up. Everybody up. Practice. Come on! All right, all right. I'm an asshole. Go ahead and yell. Get it off your chests. I deserve it.
- Toby Whitewood: We really appreciate these new uniforms, Buttermaker, but we're not going to be needing them anymore. We've been taking a lot of razzing in school about opening day, and--and they were laughing at us, picking on us. Anyway, we took a vote and decided that we'd quit.
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: What the hell happened to you, Tanner?
- Engelberg: Tanner got into a fight because of it.
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: Who with?
- Engelberg: The seventh grade.
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: What?
- Engelberg: The seventh grade.
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: You took on the whole seventh grade? You want to quit, Tanner?
- Tanner Boyle: Crud, no. I want to play ball.
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: I can understand how you guys feel. I haven't been much of a manager or much of anything else, for that matter. And I'm sorry. But this quitting thing--it's a hard habit to break once you start. You're a damn good bunch of boys. You probably deserved a lot better than me, but it looks like we're stuck with each other. Jimmy, grab a bat. Engelberg, get your gear on, get behind home plate.
- Toby Whitewood: What for?
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: We need to practice.
- Engelberg: But we disbanded the team. We took a vote.
- [Buttermaker angrily throws their jerseys at them]
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: Goddamn it! Nobody's vote counts around here but mine! Get your gear on and get your fat ass behind the plate before I kick it up there. And the rest of you pansy-ass quitters, move your asses before I kick them all on deck. Get in position. We got a game with the Athletics next wednesday, and that means only one thing-- Bad news for the Athletics!
- Kelly: [after getting cold shoulder from everyone] Hey does anyone mind if I warm up too?
- Tanner Boyle: We didn't think you needed anybody but yourself to play catch with!
- Kelly: Just cool it, runt.
- [they start fighting]