- The Fonz: You're dreaming about a girl you've never met?
- Richie Cunningham: Come on, Fonz, haven't you ever dreamed?
- The Fonz: Hey I'm not the dreamer! I'm the dreamee!
- Marion Cunningham: Richie just hasn't got the appetite that Chuck has.
- Howard Cunningham: Marion, Argentina hasn't got the appetite that Chuck has.
- Richie Cunningham: So how did you do on that social studies test?
- Potsie Weber: I missed that question on Alaska. I hear they want to make it a state now.
- Richie Cunningham: That'll never happen.
- Potsie Weber: Rich! Rich!
- Ralph Malph: Come quick!
- Richie Cunningham: What? Is there something wrong?
- Potsie Weber: It's a shark!
- Ralph Malph: The Fonz...
- Richie Cunningham: Fonz got eaten by a shark?
- Potsie Weber: He did? Who said that?
- Ralph Malph: Not me! What're you talking about?
- Richie Cunningham: Well, you just said "The shark..."!
- Ralph Malph: Nooo! Listen! The Fonz is gonna jump *over* a shark!
- The Fonz: [Marion has just told off the Fonz and stormed out of the room] I'm gonna hit her.
- Howard Cunningham: No, you're not gonna hit my wife.
- The Fonz: Then I'll hit you!
- Howard Cunningham: You're not gonna hit my son.
- The Fonz: Then I'll hit you!
- Richie Cunningham: You're not gonna hit my father either.
- The Fonz: Well I gotta hit somebody. You know where Potsie is?
- [Fonzie's feet are sore from dancing and needs to be held up]
- Fonzie: Aaaay, I'm up and moving!
- Richie Cunningham: You're in La-La land, Fonz.
- Fonzie: Let me tell ya, it's a lot of fun in La-La land!
- Richie Cunningham: A shark? That is the *stupidest* thing I have ever heard!
- Fonzie: Stupid, yes. Also dumb. But it is something I've gotta do.
- Richie Cunningham: Fonz, you're not jumping over garbage cans on a bike. You're jumping over a shark. On nothing! On a couple of little skis! One little slip and chomp! Chomp! Chomp!
- Fonzie: Thanks a lot for your support. Look, I was challenged. I gotta jump.
- The Fonz: Arnold, go and cook up a couple of burgers for us.
- Matsuo 'Arnold' Takahashi: But I just cleaned the grill!
- The Fonz: Well, good! Then maybe they'll taste better!
- The Fonz: [Richie tries to get Fonz to get rid of a very tall, very big lumberjack] You picked a fight with a red and black tree?
- [Fonzie and Pinky have had a fight and are sitting at the dinner table]
- Richie Cunningham: Dad, uh, can you come upstairs with me for a minute?
- Howard Cunningham: I haven't finished my dessert yet.
- Richie Cunningham: Well, you can finish it upstairs, Dad.
- Howard Cunningham: What are you doing?
- Richie Cunningham: Well, we have to talk.
- Howard Cunningham: Talk about what?
- Richie Cunningham: I... I don't know... the birds and bees.
- Howard Cunningham: Oh, Richard, we already had that talk.
- Richie Cunningham: [refers to the table] Yeah, and you didn't learn much.
- Ralph Malph: [Richie is worried that he's going crazy] Come on, Richie! You're no crazier than the rest of us! Look at Potsie. You think he's normal? And Fonzie... super-cool Fonzie. Fonzie with his "Ayyy!" I mean, that's pretty... that's really sicko when you come right down to it.
- Richie Cunningham: I wouldn't let him hear you say that.
- Ralph Malph: You tell him I said that, and I'll deny it! Every word!
- Richie Cunningham: OK, Ralph - take it easy.
- Ralph Malph: Now you take me - nice, normal Ralphie Malphie. I got no quirks. But I know what they're saying about me. They're saying my hair's too neat, I'm too cute, and girls crave my bod.
- Richie Cunningham: They're not saying that, Ralph.
- Ralph Malph: Yes they are. They're also saying that I look like a movie star because my teeth are too even.
- Richie Cunningham: I give up, Fonzie! I'm gonna be a monk!
- Fonzie: Don't. You won't like their hairstyle.
- [watching a Chicago Bears football game in 1956]
- Ralph Malph: That Bears quarterback is no good. He's washed up. He's 30.
- Richie Cunningham: That's ridiculous. George Blanda still has a few more good years left.
- Richie Cunningham: Hey, Fonzie, this Stripper she took off..
- The Fonz: Nothing!
- Richie Cunningham: You knew?
- The Fonz: Yeah, but Bull makes the World go around. I think I'm going to scratch that on the toilet wall.
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