Fred J. Lincoln credited as playing...
Fred 'Weasel' Podowski
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: How'd we get into the sex-crime business anyway? My brother Saul, a plumber, makes twice as much money as I do and gets three weeks vacation, too.
- Estelle Collingwood: Are you folks on vacation?
- Krug Stillo: No, we're sort of, um, on a business trip.
- Dr. John Collingwood: Well what sort of business are you in?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Plumbing.
- Krug Stillo: Insurance.
- Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?
- Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: I wonder what the meanest, foulest, rottenest, woodsiest sex crime ever was? Hey, Krug, what do you think the sex crime of the century was?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: [to Estelle] I could make love to a looker like you with my hands tied behind my back.
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Look at this.
- Krug Stillo: What?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: [showing pictures of Mari] Guess who lives here?
- Krug Stillo: Huh, I wonder what the odds are on that?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Couldn't even tell you.
- Krug Stillo: You want some grass? What do you want with some grass, huh?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Hey, you guys ain't cows is ya? Little cows, looking for some grass, huh? Let me hear you moo. C'mon, c'mon. Moo.
- Sadie: Yeah, and they got them cute little udders on them.