The Benny Hill Show (TV Series 1969–1989) Poster

(1969–1989)

Benny Hill: Various, Self - Host, Self, B.A. Baracus, John 'Hannibal' Smith, Orson Buggy

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Blanche : Drink and sex. That's what killed your uncle - drink and sex!

    Harry : Yeah. He couldn't get either, so he shot himself.

  • Nicholas Parsons : Are Thames executives against attractive nude women?

    Fred Scuttle : Not as often as they'd like to be!

  • Commercial voiceover : Been having late night snacks again? That's a washing up job.

    Woman Washing Dishes : [cheerfully]  Not really. You see, I use Sunbright Lemon Liquid.

    Commercial voiceover : Sunbright?

    Woman Washing Dishes : Yes. Sunbright. Makes everything so lovely and clean.

    Commercial voiceover : Clean?

    Woman Washing Dishes : Yes. It contains lemon juice.

    Commercial voiceover : Lemon Juice?

    Woman Washing Dishes : Yes, Lemon juice. That's what gives it its nice sparkle.

    Commercial voiceover : Sparkle?

    Woman Washing Dishes : Yes, sparkle. Makes everything come up lovely and fresh.

    Commercial voiceover : Fresh?

    Woman Washing Dishes : [completely irritated]  Yes, fresh, are you bloody stupid or something?

  • Mervyn Cruddy : I don't care what anybody says, you know, about these common-market Romeos, for my money the greatest lover in the world is the Englishman.

    Andree Melly : Well, surely it's the Frenchman who has that reputation, the way he'll kiss a girls hand, and then her cheek, her neck, and then here ears...

    Mervyn Cruddy : By that time, the Englishman's coming home from his honeymoon, I'd say!

  • Sheriff Bill Jardine : Hey, do we know Ace Dickey?

    Deputy Leroy : Yeah. Did five years for statutory rape.

    Sheriff Bill Jardine : Why now, anybody who rapes a statue deserves what he gets!

  • Traveller : I say, is this Platt's Bottom?

    Toddy : No, it's not, it's mine!

    Traveller : Well, where do I find Platt's Bottom?

    Toddy : Well, you don't start from there!

    Traveller : Well, which direction is it?

    Toddy : I don't know.

    Paddy : Me neither.

    Traveller : You're not very bright, are you?

    Chirpy Chuckles : No, but we ain't lost!

  • [Andree Melly talks to Mervyn Cruddy at the N.F.T] 

    Andree Melly : I think for me, the most memorable moment in films was when you played the doctor to that sick family.

    Mervyn Cruddy : "Inherit the Wind." Yes, I remember.

    Andree Melly : Opposite Margaret Lockwood's nurse . . .

    Mervyn Cruddy : That's right. Yes, I know what you're going to say, the scene in the operating theatre.

    Andree Melly : That's the scene. You kissed her when she least expected it.

    Mervyn Cruddy : I beg your pardon?

    Andree Melly : You kissed her when she least expected it.

    Mervyn Cruddy : Oh, I thought you said 'where'.

  • Henry McGee : [referring to Scuttle's fellow astronaut]  How old is he?

    Captain Fred Scuttle : Fifty-eight. He's a late developer.

    Henry McGee : He looks older.

    Captain Fred Scuttle : Well, he worries a lot.

  • Housewife : No, I'm wearing black for my poor, departed husband.

    Milkman : Oh... how long's he been gone?

    Housewife : Ten minutes. He won't be back till 1.

  • Fanny Craddock : But first of all, we must put in just a little tiny spot of absinthe.

    Johnny Craddock : 'Cause absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!

  • Director Sam Speiler : [reminiscing about an actress who was in one of his films]  Oh God, she couldn't sing, she couldn't dance, she couldn't act . . .

    Lesley Goldie : Well, what could she do?

    Director Sam Speiler : With difficulty, stand up!

  • [repeated lines, with Benny as a man with a heavy Chinese accent, and Bob Todd as an Indian gentleman who politely misunderstands almost everything] 

    Chinese Man : Don't you know the Queen's English?

    Indian Man : Oh, I'm sure she is.

  • Various : A shy young maid came down to stay down at our village inn./ The bedroom light was oh so bright, the curtain oh so thin./ At nine o'clock she enters her room, at half past nine she sleeps./ Lord Clarendon walks quickly by, But naughty Samuel Pepys.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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