Dan Rowan credited as playing...
Self - Host • Frank Farkel • General Bull Right • Pat • Bum • Romeo • Admiral Farragut Right • Barlow • Bud Abbott • Chuck • Doctor Rowan • Doctor Watson • Dr. Livingstone • Lou Weitzman • President Nixon • Rochefort • Ross • The Lone Ranger • Tonto • Wilbur Wright
- Dan Rowan: [as the News of the Future anchor] Berlin, 20 years from now, 1989. There was dancing in the streets today as East Germany finally tore down the Berlin Wall. The joy was short-lived, however, as the wall was quickly replaced with a moat full of alligators.
- Dan Rowan: [as the News of the Future anchor] Item: Washington, DC, 1988. President Ronald Reagan today denied once again that he is a candidate for the office of Governor of California.
- [repeated line]
- Dan Rowan: Hey, next week have we got a show...
- Dick Martin: I'd like to say something my mother once said.
- Dan Rowan: Now here's the man for whom the news wouldn't be the news without the news, Heeeere's Dicky.
- Dan Rowan: Hey, Goldie, would you ever go on a hunger strike?
- Goldie Hawn: No, I couldn't, I'm on a diet.