Lee Van Cleef credited as playing...
Col. Douglas Mortimer
- [last lines]
- Monco: [counting reward sums of outlaws he just killed] Ten thousand... twelve thousand... fifteen... sixteen... seventeen... twenty-two. Twenty-two?
- [a wounded Groggy comes from behind and raises his gun; Monco whirls and shoots him dead]
- Monco: ...Twenty-seven.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Any trouble, boy?
- Monco: No, old man. Thought I was having trouble with my adding. It's all right now.
- Monco: Tell me, Colonel... Were you ever young?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Yup. And just as reckless as you. Then one day, something happened. It made life very precious to me.
- Monco: What's that?
- [Mortimer shoots a glance at him]
- Monco: Or is the question indiscreet?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [pause, then] No. No, the question isn't indiscreet. But the answer could be.
- Wild, The Hunchback: Well well, if it isn't the smoker. Well... Remember me, amigo?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: M-Mm.
- Wild, The Hunchback: 'Course you do. El Paso.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: It's a small world.
- Wild, The Hunchback: Yes, and very, very bad. Now come on, you light another match.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: I generally smoke just after I eat. Why don't you come back in about ten minutes?
- Wild, The Hunchback: Ten minutes you'll be smoking in hell. Get up!
- Train Conductor: Hey, Mister. You just can't pull the emergency cord and jump off! Tell me, why did you stop that train? If you wanna get off, you're...
- [looks at Mortimer's gun]
- Train Conductor: Well, the railroad company would might be pleased to make any arrangements for any passenger, if you wanna get off, Dear Sir.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: I did get off. Thanks.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [discussing strategy to defeat Indio] When two hunters go after the same prey, they usually end up shooting each other in the back. And we don't want to shoot each other in the back.
- Monco: [amused] Then the Colonel dies...
- [Mortimer has just recovered the watch from Indio, which contains a picture of the woman that Indio raped]
- Monco: [peers at the picture] There seems to be a family resemblance.
- [He hands Mortimer the similar watch with the same picture he had taken earlier]
- Monco: Here.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [pause, then] Naturally, between brother and sister.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: One from the outside one from the inside. There's no other way.One of us will have to join Indio's gang.
- Monco: Why did you look at me when you said one of us?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Because they don't know you. Wild sees me and his hump will catch on fire.
- Monco: Tell me Colonel... how do you propose that I join up with Indio? Maybe bring him a bunch of roses?
- [Indio and his gang have been dispatched]
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: My boy, you've become rich.
- Monco: You mean *we've* become rich, old man.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: No, it's all yours. I think you deserve it.
- Monco: What about our partnership?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [smiles] Maybe next time.
- Monco: [Examining Mortimer's gun] How can somebody in my business go around with a contraption like this?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: That contraption almost sent you to your grave.
- [first lines]
- Train Conductor: Tickets. Tickets, please. Tickets. Tickets. Thank you. Tickets.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Is this part of Tucumcari?
- Train Conductor: We should pass there in about three to four minutes.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Thanks.
- Carpetbagger on Train: Well, eh, excuse me, but you made a mistake, Reverend. I couldn't help hearing you're going to Tucumcari. I sell goods around here, and I gotta tell you, you're on the wrong train. I think the nearest stop to Tucumcari is Amarillo. By getting off at Santa Fe and returning by way of Amarillo, you should be able to get right where... you're... going.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [slowly peers over the top of his Bible with a steely stare] Huh...
- Carpetbagger on Train: Uh... you see the train doesn't stop at Tucumcari.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [stuffs his Bible into his bag] This train'll stop at Tucumcari...
- El Paso Bank Manager: To try robbing us would be so futile that only a complete fool would attempt it.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Yeah. Or a complete madman.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Indio! Listen to me. This is Colonel Mortimer.Douglas Mortimer.Does the name mean anything to you!
- [after Mortimer opens safe, Indio declares a cooling off time for the loot]
- El Indio: [to Mortimer] And you will wait a month to get your share.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Naturally! I'll be in the tavern. The air around here stinks anyway.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [meeting up with Monco to get the stolen loot] I was worried about you - all alone, with so many problems to solve...
- Monco: [to the Chinese bag carrier] Take it to the station. The gentleman's leaving.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Hold it. Take it back.
- Monco: Take it to the station.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Go inside.
- Monco: The station.
- Tucumcari sheriff: [counting the money being given to Mortimer for Guy Calloway's bounty] Seven, eight, nine... there, 1,000 bucks.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: [looks at a wanted poster of 'Red' Cavanagh] What do you know about Cavanagh?
- Tucumcari sheriff: About a week ago, he was seen in White Rocks.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Thanks.
- Tucumcari sheriff: If it's any interest to you, somebody else dropped in earlier this morning to see me about him.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: Who?
- Tucumcari sheriff: I'd never seen him before. He said his name is 'Manco'.
- Monco: You mind telling me how you got here?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: I just reasoned it out. I figured you'd tell Indio to do just exactly the opposite of what we agreed, and he's suspicious enough to figure out something else. Since El Paso was out of the question, well, here I am!
- El Paso Tavern Keeper: Sir, if the hunchback didn't shoot you, he had a very, very important reason, that's all.
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: I was thinking that myself.
- El Indio: Who are you?
- Col. Douglas Mortimer: I'm the one who can open the safe for you.
- El Indio: What safe, señor?