Ray Walston credited as playing...
Mr. Quimby
- Mr. Quimby: How do you suppose I got to be the general manager of this great store? How?
- Norman Phiffier: How? How?
- Mr. Quimby: I'll tell you! I'll tell you!
- Norman Phiffier: Go ahead! Go ahead!
- Mr. Quimby: I will! I will!
- Mr. Quimby: So, you agree to start your great climb to success, your climb to the very top?
- Norman Phiffier: I'm ready to climb!
- Mr. Quimby: By starting at the very bottom?
- Norman Phiffier: Right down below the depths of the bottom, deep, lowest place where I am, I'll start.
- Mr. Quimby: Quimby here.
- Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: You're out of breath, Quimby.
- Mr. Quimby: Yes, I, ah
- [clears throat]
- Mr. Quimby: working late, long day.
- Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: Don't put me on, Quimby. You've had at least three scotches and you're winded from chasing your pretty secretary. But don't worry, Quimby, I'll ok her next raise.
- Mr. Quimby: I've always considered you, not only my boss, but a dandy friend, Mrs. Tuttle.
- Mr. Quimby: Forgive me for saying this, but this boy has character, and I know what character is! I remember when I had it!
- Mr. Quimby: That baboon of a boy has just about wrecked the good name of Tuttle.
- Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: I thought you said he had character.
- Mr. Quimby: But there's no place in business for a man of character. His sincerity could ruin the world!
- Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: Naturally, that's why we, the insincere, must be in charge.
- Mr. Quimby: And you, too, will do good work, but first you must get the FEEL of this great store.
- Norman Phiffier: Oh, I'll have no trouble with that. I have very sensitive fingertips.
- Mr. Quimby: By some chance, Mr. Phiffier, could you be stealing a TV set?
- Norman Phiffier: Me, stealing, Mr. Quimby? Oh, I'd never steal anything.
- Mr. Quimby: If I recollect correctly, Mr. Phiffier, you're supposed to be working in the mattress department today.
- Norman Phiffier: Oh, yeah, I AM working in the mattress department today.
- Mr. Quimby: Then what are you doing here?
- Norman Phiffier: Oh, well, I was just really trying to, uh, satisfy a charge customer, you see, sir. Uh, buh, a lady that wanted to see, on a mattress there, just, uh, just how good the TV set was, so I borrowed two ladders, and I put a surfboard on top of two ladders that I borrowed from the Hawaiian hooky hula department. I just wanted to satisfy a charge customer so I could be the greatest salesman just like you - you, who are my idol, Mr. Quimby. If I ever turn out to be as good as you, I shall really live and breathe the air of kings. Oh, if I could ever be like you, oh boy, there'd never be Death of a Salesman with me. I'd live on, if I ever... Mmm.