Edgar Buchanan credited as playing...
Judge Bryson
- Judge Bryson: [to Nick] You mean your own mother charged you with bigamy?
- Grace Arden: I certainly did.
- Judge Bryson: I hope you remember this on Mother's Day.
- Bianca Steele: Your Honor, may I please have your permission to get out of here before I explode?
- Judge Bryson: I'd like to go home myself. I'd like to tell my wife about this. She thinks all my cases are dull. This one's a doozy.
- Judge Bryson: Well, are you gonna answer the question or is she going to talk for you the rest of your life?
- District Attorney: Your Honor, in effort to expedite matters in this somewhat unusual hearing, we pray decisions on a number of legal actions filed concurrently, all of which are components of one basic familial disturbance.
- Judge Bryson: [bemoaning] Sounds like something The Court of Appeals is gonna reverse me on already.
- Judge Bryson: Where'd you study law, anyway?
- Nicholas Arden: Harvard, sir.
- Judge Bryson: Yeah, I might have known. Yale man, myself.
- Judge Bryson: And you down there, stop that whispering. This is a court of law, not a public library.
- Judge Bryson: [to the District Attorney] Did you say she wanted an annulment?
- Bianca Steele: I most certainly do, your Honor.
- Judge Bryson: Now even my marriages are being reversed on me. What was wrong with it?
- District Attorney: Well, as usual in such cases...
- Judge Bryson: Unkissed, you mean?
- Bianca Steele: Un-anything!
- Judge Bryson: [smirks at Nicky] Heh! Harvard man.
- Bianca Steele: Has Your Honor ever considered psychotherapy?
- Judge Bryson: Are you one of those couch nuts?
- Judge Bryson: You ought to be ashamed of yourself, ma'am- a woman your age marrying this man.
- Grace Arden: Marrying him? I happen to be his mother.
- Judge Bryson: Don't argue with me. I'll fine you $25 for contempt.
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: How can you fine a corpse? I'm still legally dead.
- Judge Bryson: Then I'll declare you legally alive.
- Nicholas Arden: If you do that before the annulment, Your Honor, I'll be guilty of bigamy.
- Judge Bryson: I should've played golf today, arthritis and all.
- Judge Bryson: Now, what bumbling idiot ever declared this perfectly healthy-looking young woman dead?
- Nicholas Arden: Well, you did, Your Honor.
- Judge Bryson: [to the clerk] Oh. Uh, strike my last remark from the record.
- Judge Bryson: You look familiar, young lady.
- Bianca Steele: I hope so, Your Honor. You married me.
- Judge Bryson: No, I married a little, short, fat - oh, you - you mean to him.
- [points to Nicky]