James Garner credited as playing...
Nicholas Arden
- Nicholas Arden: [describing Ellen's memorial service] There wasn't a dry eye in the congregation.
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: Oh, gosh, I wish I'd been there.
- Nicholas Arden: I-if you had been there, there wouldn't have been a service.
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: Oh. That's right.
- Nicholas Arden: [muttering as he walks through the hotel lobby] My wife is alive. My wife is alive. My wife is alive.
- Seymour: So's mine, buddy. That's why I drink!
- Judge Bryson: Where'd you study law, anyway?
- Nicholas Arden: Harvard, sir.
- Judge Bryson: Yeah, I might have known. Yale man, myself.
- Nicholas Arden: You out of your mind?
- Grace Arden: Just a little. I can't quite seem to adjust: two daughters-in-law for only one son.
- Nicholas Arden: Well, as long as you had only one, why'd it have to be me?
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: Don't take advantage of me just because I'm a woman.
- Nicholas Arden: You're my wife.
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: One of them.
- Nicholas Arden: Yeah. Hey, I really have to do something about that.
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: Yes.
- Bianca Steele: Stop squirming, darling.
- Nicholas Arden: I'm not squirming.
- Bianca Steele: Oh, poor baby's trembling.
- Nicholas Arden: I'm not. I'm not trembling. Now, please, Bianca, don't do that.
- Bianca Steele: Oh, I can't help it. You're so male. Hmm...
- Mr. Codd: My dear sir, as a hotel manager of many years experience I can sniff hanky-panky in an air-conditioned building.
- Nicholas Arden: Hanky-panky?
- Bianca Steele: With your clothes on?
- Nicholas Arden: I can do it better with my clothes on, believe me.
- Bianca Steele: Come on, darling. Take off your shirt.
- Nicholas Arden: Dr. Slocum came forward to deliver the eulogy.
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: What did he say?
- Nicholas Arden: Oh, what every one of us knew. That you were an angel on Earth, a wonderful mother, a devoted wife, credit to the community, and a darn good sport.
- Judge Bryson: Don't argue with me. I'll fine you $25 for contempt.
- Ellen Wagstaff Arden: How can you fine a corpse? I'm still legally dead.
- Judge Bryson: Then I'll declare you legally alive.
- Nicholas Arden: If you do that before the annulment, Your Honor, I'll be guilty of bigamy.
- Judge Bryson: I should've played golf today, arthritis and all.
- Judge Bryson: Now, what bumbling idiot ever declared this perfectly healthy-looking young woman dead?
- Nicholas Arden: Well, you did, Your Honor.
- Judge Bryson: [to the clerk] Oh. Uh, strike my last remark from the record.