- Zazie: I'm waiting for the others to go see Uncle dance.
- Madame Mouaque: That elephant dances?
- Zazie: In a tutu, too!
- Uncle Gabriel: In 20 years, there won't be teachers anymore. They'll all be replaced by movies, TV, electronics, stuff like that. That was in the paper the other day too.
- Zazie: [in a Paris flea market] ... they got American military surpluses, too?
- Trouscaillon: Of course! And great French fries, made right that afternoon.
- Zazie: I'll take the American military surpluses.
- Trouscaillon: They got mussels, too. That don't screw you all up.
- Zazie: They got those American blue jeans?
- Trouscaillon: Of course! And their compasses too, and that's not all...
- Zazie: Fuck all that, I just want the blue jeans.
- Uncle Gabriel: I got a confession stuck in my craw. I can't hold it in no more! I'll say nothing of my youth. Of my upbringing, I had none. Of my education, there's little to tell. On this score, there's no more to say. Now I come to my military service on which I won't dwell. A bachelor early on, life made me what I am. Rise, descend, descend, rise, come, go - so does Man until he finally vanishes. A taxi bringeth him. An elevator taketh him away. Neither the Tower nor the Pantheon take any note. All Paris is a dream. Zazie is a reverie. All this is a reverie within a dream. A reverie within a dream.
- Uncle Gabriel: And over there, way out yonder, the cemetery is piled high with former Parisians... who went up and down countless steps, to and fro along endless streets, until in the end they went and were no more. Pleasure bringeth them, a hearse taketh them away. Meanwhile, the Tower rusts, the Pantheon cracks, quicker than their bones rot... and melt away in the humus of the woeful metropolis. But I... I am alive! And there my knowledge ceases. Of the cabbie and my niece, 1,000 feet up in the air, and of my sweet spouse, Albertine, back at the hearth, at this precise moment, I know only this: that they are almost dead since they are not here. Created in a flash... animated in a splash... negated in a dash.
- Charles: Gabriel? Mado Pettifoot and me just got engaged. Yep, we're marrying. It won't change nothing, except when we bang away, it'll be legal.
- Uncle Gabriel: We gotta celebrate. Come to the club tonight to see my new number. Tell Albertine to hurry with my dress.
- Zazie: Bull. You never tell the truth.
- Uncle Gabriel: The truth? As if you knew what truth was. As if anybody knew. It's all a lot of hooey.
- Mado: Something wrong, Mr. Gabriel?
- Uncle Gabriel: I have stage fright.
- Stagehand: Gabriel, you're on!
- Uncle Gabriel: Paris will always be Paris! Isn't it gorgeous, Zazie! The Pantheon. The Invalides. The cabaret. The metro.
- Uncle Gabriel: Okay, so I dance in drag in a nightclub. That means nothing. Strictly for laughs. With my build, you see...
- Madame Mouaque: [very drunk, to Gredoux] People are mostly cunts. You too, cunt.
- Ferdinand Grédoux: You hear this...
- Madame Mouaque, Ferdinand Grédoux: [increasingly absurd fisticuffs ensue throughout bar as Zazie is passed out]