William Holden credited as playing...
Shears
- Maj. Warden: You'll go on without me. That's an order. You're in command now, Shears.
- Commander Shears: You make me sick with your heroics! There's a stench of death about you. You carry it in your pack like the plague. Explosives and L-pills - they go well together, don't they? And with you it's just one thing or the other: destroy a bridge or destroy yourself. This is just a game, this war! You and Colonel Nicholson, you're two of a kind, crazy with courage. For what? How to die like a gentleman, how to die by the rules - when the only important thing is how to live like a human being!... I'm not going to leave you here to die, Warden, because I don't care about your bridge and I don't care about your rules. If we go on, we go on together.
- Commander Shears: [to Nurse] You give me powders, pills, baths, injections, enemas when all I need is love.
- Commander Shears: I can think of a lot of things to call Saito, but "reasonable"... that's a new one.
- Major Hughes: Jennings has a plan, sir. He seems to think...
- Colonel Nicholson: Yes, I'm sure Jennings has a plan. But escape? Where, into this jungle? That fellow Saito was right: no need for barbed wire or fence, one chance in a hundred of survival. I'm sure a man of Commander Shears' experience will attest to that.
- Commander Shears: I'd say the odds against a successful escape are about 100 to one. But may I add another word, Colonel? The odds against survival in this camp are even worse.
- Maj. Warden: [to Col. Green] Sir, it's most annoying. They say, in view of the time element, they don't think a few practice jumps would be worthwhile.
- Major Shears: No?
- Maj. Warden: No, they say if you make one jump, you've only got 50% chance of injury, two jumps, 80%, and three jumps, you're bound to catch a packet. The consensus of opinion is that the most sensible thing for Major Shears to do is to go ahead and jump, and hope for the best.
- Major Shears: With or without a parachute?
- Maj. Warden: I belong to a rather rum group called Force 316. Our headquarters is up in the botanical gardens.
- Commander Shears: Protecting rare plants from the enemy?
- Commander Shears: You mean, you intend to uphold the letter of the law, no matter what it costs?
- Colonel Nicholson: Without law, Commander, there is no civilization.
- Commander Shears: That's just my point; here, there is no civilization.
- Colonel Nicholson: Then we have the opportunity to introduce it.
- Maj. Warden: [lowering binoculars] Kill him... Kill him!
- Major Shears: [screaming] KILL HIM! KILL HIM!
- Nurse at Ceylon hospital: [both characters are on the beach, discussing the evening's plans] I know, you're terribly sorry, but you're standing me up tonight.
- Major Shears: You couldn't be more wrong!
- Lieutenant Joyce: I'm sorry, Sir. I thought you were the enemy.
- Commander Shears: Well, I'm an American, if that's what you mean.
- Commander Shears: [He and a fellow Allied P.O.W., Weaver, have just buried a dead P.O.W. in the camp cemetery. They are putting in a handmade wooden cross to mark his grave] Here lies... You know, Weaver, I've forgotten who we just buried.
- Weaver, Allied P.O.W.: Thompson.
- Commander Shears: Oh, yes... Here lies Corporal Herbert Thompson. Serial number zero-one-two-three-four-five-six-seven. Valiant member of the King's Own... or the Queen's Own... or something. Who died of beriberi in the year of our Lord, 1943. For the greater glory of...
- Commander Shears: [pauses, looking stumped. Looks at Weaver] What *did* he die for?
- Weaver, Allied P.O.W.: Ah, come off it! No need to mock the grave!
- Commander Shears: I don't mock the grave or the men... May he rest in peace.
- Commander Shears: [bangs the makeshift wooden cross down with his shovel] He found little enough of it when he was alive.
- Nurse at Ceylon hospital: What makes you so sure you'll get a medical discharge?
- Commander Shears: Because I'm a civilian at heart, lover, and I always follow my heart.
- Commander Shears: [referring to Col. Saito, who had a machine gun brought up to threaten Col. Nicholson and his officers] He's going to do it, believe me, he's really going to do it!
- Maj. Warden: Is there something wrong?
- Commander Shears: I was just thinking. You speak Yai's language, I don't. He's gonna lead you back to the river Kwai himself, by a route I never took. Will someone tell me why I'm so indispensable to this outfit?
- Maj. Warden: I know how you feel, but there's always the unexpected, isn't there?
- Commander Shears: Tell that to Chapman.