Marilyn Monroe credited as playing...
The Girl
- The Girl: You and your imagination! You think every girl's a dope. You think a girl goes to a party and there's some guy, a great big lunk in a fancy striped vest, strutting around like a tiger giving you that I'm-so-handsome-you-can't-resist-me look. And for this she's supposed to fall flat on her face. Well, she doesn't fall on her face. But there's another guy in the room, way over in the corner. Maybe he's kind of nervous and shy and perspiring a little. First, you look past him. But then you sort of sense that he's gentle and kind and worried. That he'll be tender with you. Nice and sweet. That's what's *really* exciting.
- Richard Sherman: There's gin and vermouth. That's a martini.
- The Girl: Oh, that sounds cool! I think I'll have a glass of that. A big tall one!
- Richard Sherman: Isn't the Kaufman place air conditioned?
- The Girl: Gee, no! It's just terrible up there. That's why I bought the electric fan. Ohh, this feels just elegant! I'm just not made for the heat. This is my first summer in New York and it's practically killing me. You know what I tried yesterday? I tried to sleep in the bathtub. Just lying there up to my neck in cold water.
- Richard Sherman: That sounds like a good idea.
- The Girl: But there was something wrong with the faucet. It kept dripping. It was keeping me awake. So you know what I did? I pushed my big toe up the faucet.
- Richard Sherman: I guess that's what they call American know-how.
- The Girl: The only thing was, my toe got stuck and I couldn't get it back out again.
- Richard Sherman: You couldn't?
- The Girl: No, but thank goodness there was a phone in the bathroom, so I was able to call the plumber.
- Richard Sherman: You called the plumber?
- The Girl: Oh, sure. He was very nice, even though it was Sunday, I explained the situation to him and he rushed right over.
- Richard Sherman: Did everything come out all right?
- The Girl: Oh, sure! But it was sort of embarrassing.
- Richard Sherman: Yeah, I can see how it might have been.
- The Girl: Honestly, I almost died. There I was with a perfectly strange plumber and no polish on my toenails.
- The Girl: I think it's wonderful that you're married. I think it's just elegant.
- Richard Sherman: You do?
- The Girl: Of course. I mean, I wouldn't be lying on the floor in the middle of the night in some man's apartment drinking champagne if he wasn't married.
- Richard Sherman: That's an interesting line of reasoning.
- The Girl: I think it's just elegant to have an imagination. I just have no imagination at all. I have lots of other things, but I have no imagination.
- The Girl: I had onions at lunch. I had garlic dressing at dinner. But he'll never know, because I stay kissing sweet, the new Dazzledent way.
- The Girl: [in Richard's fantasy] It shakes me! It quakes me! It makes me feel goose-pimply all over!
- The Girl: Maybe if I took the little fan, put it in the icebox, then left the icebox door open, then left the bedroom door open, and soak the sheets and pillowcase in ice water... no, that's too icky!
- The Girl: I just hope it's not some priceless antique or something.
- Richard Sherman: Forget it. Just early Sears, Roebuck.
- The Girl: Do you have any kids?
- Richard Sherman: No. None. No kids. Well, just one. Little one. Hardly counts.
- Richard Sherman: I'm in big trouble. I know girls like this! They just can't keep their big mouths shut! This is gonna be *all* over New York. I bet, right this minute, she's telling somebody about it... yaddida yaddida yaddida yaddida...
- The Girl: [in Richard's imagination, The Girl, sitting in a bubble bath, while the Plumber is working on her pipes] So, he lured me down in his apartment. He made me sit on his piano bench. Then he made me play "Chopsticks"! Then suddenly he turned on me. His eyes bulging. He was frothing at the mouth - just like the Creature from the Black Lagoon!
- Richard Sherman: I knew it. I knew it! That's how these stories get started. Big blabbermouth.
- The Girl: [in Richard's fantasy] Rachmaninoff.
- Richard Sherman: The Second Piano Concerto.
- The Girl: It isn't fair.
- Richard Sherman: Not fair? Why?
- The Girl: Every time I hear it, I go to pieces.
- Richard Sherman: Oh?
- The Girl: May I sit next to you?
- Richard Sherman: Please do.
- The Girl: It shakes me, it quakes me. It makes me feel goose-pimply all over. I don't know where I am, or who I am, or what I'm doing. Don't stop, don't stop! Don't ever stop!
- Richard Sherman: Why did they practically ask you to leave?
- The Girl: It was so silly. I posed for this picture and when it was published in "U.S. Camera", they got all upset.
- Richard Sherman: Well, what was the matter with the picture?
- The Girl: I was - it was one of these - 'artistic' pictures.
- Richard Sherman: Oh.
- [giggles]
- The Girl: It was on a beach with some driftwood. It got Honorable Mention.
- Richard Sherman: Honorable Mention? In "U.S. Camera"? Well.
- The Girl: It was called 'Textures', because you could see three different kinds of texture: the driftwood, the sand and me. I got $25 dollars an hour, and it took hours and hours. You'd be surprised!