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Anita Ekberg, Bud Abbott, Mari Blanchard, Lou Costello, and Jean Willes in Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (1953)

Lou Costello: Orville

Abbott and Costello Go to Mars

Lou Costello credited as playing...

Orville

Photos30

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Quotes22

  • [first lines]
  • Miss Frances Planey: Orville, after you've finished flying the jet ships for the children, bring them back to the orphanage. Then cut the lawn and water the plants.
  • Orville: All right, Miss Planey.
  • Lester: Do you realize that we are the first persons to land on Mars? Hey, I hereby claim Mars in the name of the United States of America.
  • Orville: Me too!
  • Orville: What kind of hot rod was that?
  • [last lines]
  • Orville: She crowned me again.
  • Lester: Professor of Aeronautical Science? What makes a balloon go up?
  • Orville: Hot air?
  • Lester: What's keeping you down?
  • Orville: I'm Orville.
  • Dr. Orvilla: [to Lester] See, Orville. He don't even know how to say the name. The name is Orvilla!
  • Orville: No, Orville.
  • Dr. Orvilla: [to Lester] He's the quack pots.
  • [to Orville, giving him his briefcase]
  • Dr. Orvilla: Do you mind-a hold this please?
  • Orville: No, sir.
  • Dr. Orvilla: [slaps Orville] The name is Orvilla.
  • Orville: [gives Dr. Orvilla back his briefcase] Now, I don't go for that kind of stuff.
  • [slaps Dr. Orvilla]
  • Orville: Now, cut it out. My name is Orville.
  • Dr. Orvilla: [mumbles in Italian] I'm-a gonna give you a buckaroo.
  • [hands Orville his briefcase and slaps him]
  • Dr. Orvilla: The name is Orvilla!
  • Orville: [hands back Dr. Orvilla's briefcase] Now, you hold that. Now, you cut it out!
  • [slaps Dr. Orvilla]
  • Orville: Slappin' me in the face like that. My name is Orville.
  • Dr. Orvilla: You make-a me lose my temper, you.
  • [hands back his briefcase to Orville]
  • Dr. Orvilla: The name is Orvilla!
  • [slaps Orville so hard he falls down on a chair]
  • Dr. Orvilla: [to Lester] How can he be Orvilla? He don't even-a speak-a like-a me?
  • Orville: I tink I speak even-a betterin' than you.
  • Dr. Orvilla: No mock-a me.
  • Orville: Whose-a mockin'-a you?
  • [Dr. Orvilla slaps Orville, Orville slaps Dr. Orvilla, etc. etc]
  • Orville: Hey, what are these? Football uniforms?
  • Lester: Certainly not! They're spacesuits.
  • Orville: I don't want to go to the Moon. If I wanted green cheese, I'd go to the delicatessen.
  • Orville: Hey, Dr. Wilson, is there anything else I can do?
  • Dr. Wilson: I'm afraid not, Orville. This kind of work requires a high IQ.
  • Orville: A what?
  • Dr. Wilson: [louder] High IQ.
  • Orville: High IQ, too.
  • Orville: Calling experimental laboratory. Calling experimental laboratory. Get me down, will ya? I want to collect my Social Security.
  • Lester: You can't collect your Social Security until you're 65.
  • Orville: I just aged 30 years.
  • Orville: How am I gonna eat with this fishbowl on my head?
  • Allura: What do you want here?
  • Orville: I was lookin' for a policeman. I didn't know this was a moving picture studio.
  • Allura: You are a bit confused. This is the planet Venus.
  • Orville: Can I get up?
  • Allura: Go ahead.
  • Orville: Thank you.
  • Allura: He looks worst standing up than he did lying down.
  • Allura: King Orville. If you'll step into the King's quarter's you'll find some of his old apparel.
  • Orville: Is it customary for the King to have a body guard?
  • Allura: With you I'm afraid the body guard would have to have a body guard.
  • Mugsy: [to Allura] Ah, fair flower of Venus. The sight of you makes my lips burn for your kisses. It kindles the fires of love in my heart. The flames sear my soul.
  • Orville: Squirt the hose on him, put the fire out, and put him in the dungeon.
  • Venusian Captain Olivia: Yes, oh mighty King.
  • Allura: What can a King do that a Queen can't do?
  • Orville: Be de fatha of a large family.
  • Orville: Kiss my hand.
  • [Lester shrugs his shoulders and kisses Orville's hand]
  • Orville: Now you know who's boss.
  • Allura: [stands up] Whose the boss?
  • Orville: You are.
  • [Orville sits down]
  • Orville: When I get down to Earth, I'm gonna tell 'em down there how beautiful you and the girls are.
  • Allura: Thank you.
  • Orville: May I take along a few samples to show 'em?
  • Allura: No!
  • Allura: I must say, it's rather nice to have a man around the house again. Are you married?
  • [Orville shakes his head no]
  • Allura: Engaged?
  • [Orville shakes his head no]
  • Allura: Have you a sweetheart?
  • [Orville shakes his head no]
  • Allura: Well, do you go around with anyone?
  • Orville: Lester.

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