Ray Bolger credited as playing...
Hunk
- Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
- The Scarecrow: I don't know! But some people without brains do an *awful* lot of talking, don't they?
- Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.
- Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?
- The Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow!
- The Tin Man: Not even a rhinoceros?
- The Cowardly Lion: Imposerous!
- Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
- The Cowardly Lion: Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottomus!
- Dorothy: Supposing you met an elephant?
- The Cowardly Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellophant!
- The Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
- The Cowardly Lion: I'd show him who was king of the forest!
- The Cowardly Lion: Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?
- Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Tin Man: Courage!
- The Cowardly Lion: You can say that again!... Huh?
- The Scarecrow: I've got a plan to get in there.
- The Cowardly Lion: Great, he's got a plan.
- The Scarecrow: And you're going to lead us.
- The Cowardly Lion: Yeah!... me?
- The Scarecrow: Yes, you.
- The Cowardly Lion: I... I... I gotta get her out of *there*?
- The Tin Man: That's right.
- The Cowardly Lion: [determined] All right. I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there. There's only one thing I want you fellas to do.
- The Scarecrow, The Tin Man: What's that?
- The Cowardly Lion: Talk me out of it.
- The Scarecrow: I haven't got a brain... only straw.
- Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
- The Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
- Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.
- Dorothy: Now which way do we go?
- The Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way.
- Dorothy: Who said that?
- [Toto barks at scarecrow]
- Dorothy: Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don't talk.
- The Scarecrow: [points other way] It's pleasant down that way, too.
- Dorothy: That's funny. Wasn't he pointing the other way?
- The Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways.
- The Scarecrow: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Oh joy! Rapture! I got a brain! How can I ever thank you enough?
- The Wizard of Oz: Well, you can't.
- The Scarecrow: Help! Help! Help!
- [Flying Monkeys leave; Tin Man and Lion find him]
- The Tin Man: Well, what happened to you?
- The Scarecrow: First they tore my legs off and they threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there...!
- The Tin Man: Oh, that's you all over!
- The Cowardly Lion: Sure knocked the stuffin' outta ya, didn't they?
- The Scarecrow: Don't stand there talking! Put me together! We've got to find Dorothy!
- [Tin Man and Lion start gathering up his straw]
- Dorothy: My goodness, what a fuss you're making! Well naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are, why, you're nothing but a great big coward!
- The Cowardly Lion: [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.
- [sobs]
- The Cowardly Lion: Look at the circles under my eyes, I haven't slept in weeks!
- The Tin Man: Why don't you try counting sheep?
- The Cowardly Lion: That doesn't do any good, I'm *afraid* of 'em!
- The Scarecrow: Aw, that's too bad.
- The Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'd be brave as a blizzard...
- The Tin Man: [singing] I'd be gentle as a lizard...
- The Scarecrow: [singing] I'd be clever as a gizzard...
- Dorothy: [singing] If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.
- The Scarecrow: [singing] Then I'm sure to get a brain...
- The Tin Man: [singing] A heart...
- Dorothy: [singing] A home...
- The Cowardly Lion: [singing] The nerve!
- The Wizard of Oz: They have one thing you haven't got: a diploma. Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.
- The Scarecrow: ThD?
- The Wizard of Oz: That's... Doctor of Thinkology.
- Dorothy: [as the Wizard's balloon goes off without her] Oh! Come back! Come back! Don't go without me! Please come back!
- The Wizard of Oz: I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Good-bye, folks!
- [the people shout and wave goodbye]
- Dorothy: Oh no, I'll never get home...
- [she begins to cry]
- The Cowardly Lion: [emotionally] Stay with us then, Dorothy. We all love ya. We don't... want you to go.
- Dorothy: Oh, that's very kind of you. But this could never be like Kansas. Auntie Em must have stopped wondering what happened to me by now! Oh, Scarecrow, what am I gonna do?
- The Scarecrow: [pointing] Look! Here's someone who can help you!
- [Glinda's pink bubble descends]
- The Wicked Witch of the West: How about a little fire, Scarecrow? Crow!
- [she sets fire to his arm, Dorothy screams]
- The Scarecrow: Help, I'm burning, I'm burning!
- [Dorothy grabs a bucket]
- The Wicked Witch of the West: Don't touch that water!
- [Dorothy heaves the bucket at the fire, the water splashes the Witch]
- The Wicked Witch of the West: Aaagh! You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Oh, look out! Look out! I'm going...! Ooooohhhhh, ooooooohhhhhhh...
- Dorothy: Did you say something?
- [indiscernible sounds from the rusted Tin Man]
- Dorothy: He said oil can!
- The Scarecrow: Oil can what?
- Dorothy: Oil can...? What... Oh! Here it is! Where do you want to be oiled first?
- [Tin Man squeaks]
- The Scarecrow: He said his mouth!
- [they dab oil into the corners of Tin Man's mouth]
- The Tin Man: [working his mouth loose] Muh... ma... me... mah... my, my goodness, I can talk again! Oh, oil my arms please! Oil my elbows!
- [they do so, and help to wrench down the arm holding up the axe]
- Dorothy: [concerned] Oh, did that hurt?
- The Tin Man: No, it feels wonderful. I've held that axe up for ages.
- The Tin Man: Where do we go now?
- The Cowardly Lion: Yeah...
- [Toto barks]
- The Scarecrow: There!
- [they follow Toto up the stairs, he scratches at the door to the room with Dorothy]
- The Scarecrow: Wait, we better make sure. Dorothy, are you in there? It's us!
- Dorothy: [running to the door] Yes! It's me! She locked me in!
- The Cowardly Lion: Come on! We gotta get her out! Open the door!
- Dorothy: Oh hurry, please, hurry! The hourglass is almost empty!
- The Tin Man: Stand back!
- [he takes his axe to the door; it swings open just as the last sand trickles away]
- Dorothy: Oh! Oh Toto! Oh I knew you'd come! Oh Lion! Tin Man! You found my doggie!
- The Scarecrow: Hurry! We've got no time to lose!
- [they race down the stairs; the doors bang shut on them]
- The Wicked Witch of the West: [cackling] Leaving so soon? I wouldn't hear of it! Why, my little party's just beginning!
- Dorothy: [Reaches to pick an apple from the apple tree, the tree grabs the apple and slaps her hand] Ouch!
- Angry Apple Tree: What do you think you're doing?
- Dorothy: We've been walking a long ways and I was hungry and... did you say something?
- Angry Apple Tree: She was hungry!
- Apple Tree: [Repeating after The Angry Apple Tree] She was hungry!
- Angry Apple Tree: Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?
- Dorothy: Oh, dear! I keep forgetting I'm not in Kansas!
- The Scarecrow: [disparagingly] Come along, Dorothy. You don't want any of *those* apples! Hmph!
- Angry Apple Tree: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be?
- The Scarecrow: [sarcastically] Oh no! It's just that she doesn't like little green worms!
- Angry Apple Tree: Oh you!
- [the trees start shaking their branches angrily]
- The Scarecrow: [in Dorothy's ear] I'll show you how to get apples!
- [taunts the trees by making a face; the first tree throws an apple that knocks him down]
- Dorothy: [concerned] Oh!
- [the trees continue throwing apples]
- The Scarecrow: Hooray! I guess that did it! Help yourself!
- The Gatekeeper: Who rang that bell?
- Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man: [all four together] We did!
- The Gatekeeper: Can't you read?
- The Scarecrow: Read what?
- The Gatekeeper: The notice!
- Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man: What notice?
- The Gatekeeper: It's on the door - as plain as the nose on my face! It... oh...
- [does a tsking, expression, goes inside door for a moment. He hangs the notice and goes back inside]
- Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man: [Reading notice, all together] Bell out of order, please knock.
- [Dorothy knocks the door and he opens the window]
- The Gatekeeper: Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!
- Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man: [all together] We want to see the Wizard!
- The Gatekeeper: [gasps] The Wizard? But, nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even, I've never seen him!
- Dorothy: Well, then how do you know there is one?
- The Gatekeeper: Because, he... I... Oh, you're wasting my time.
- [starts to close the window]
- Dorothy: Oh, please. Please, sir. I've got to see the Wizard. The Good Witch of the North sent me.
- The Gatekeeper: Prove it.
- The Scarecrow: She's wearing the ruby slippers, she gave her.
- The Gatekeeper: Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!
- The Wizard of Oz: Can I believe my eyes? Why have you come back?
- Dorothy: Please, sir, we've done what you told us. We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her!
- The Wizard of Oz: Ah, you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful.
- Dorothy: Yes, sir. So we'd like you to keep your promise to us, if you please, sir.
- The Wizard of Oz: Not so fast, not so fast! I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow.
- Dorothy: Tomorrow? Oh, but I want to go home now!
- The Tin Man: You've had plenty of time already!
- The Cowardly Lion: [snarls] Yeahhh...
- The Wizard of Oz: Do not arouse the wrath of the Great and Powerful Oz! I said, come back tomorrow!
- [Toto runs off behind a curtain]
- Dorothy: If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!
- The Wizard of Oz: Do you presume to criticize the Great Oz? You ungrateful creatures! Think yourselves lucky that I'm giving you audience tomorrow instead of twenty years from now!
- [Toto pulls the curtain aside, revealing the real Wizard of Oz as a short, middle-aged man with blond hair]
- The Wizard of Oz: Oh...!
- [turns and speaks into the megaphone]
- The Wizard of Oz: The Great Oz has spoken! Oh!
- [he pulls the curtain again]
- The Wizard of Oz: Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! The greatest... Oz... has... spoken!
- Dorothy: [Yanking back the curtain] Who are you?
- The Wizard of Oz: Who, ah, ah... I am the Great and Powerful...! Wizard, of Oz...
- Dorothy: YOU are? I don't believe you!
- The Wizard of Oz: Well, I'm afraid it's true, there's no other Wizard except me...
- The Scarecrow: [angrily] You HUMBUG!
- The Cowardly Lion: Yeah!
- The Wizard of Oz: [ashamed] Yes, yes, exactly so, I'm a humbug.
- Dorothy: Oh... You're a very bad man!
- The Wizard of Oz: Oh, no, my dear! I, I'm a very good man! I'm... just a very bad wizard.
- [Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man watch as the Wicked Witch of the West vanishes into a fireball]
- The Scarecrow: I'm not afraid of her! I'll see you get safely to the Wizard now, whether I get a brain or not. Stuff a mattress with me. Ha!
- The Tin Man: I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I get a heart or not. Beehive, bah! Let her try and make a beehive out of me!
- [snaps his fingers with a clunking sound]
- Dorothy: Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had. And it's funny, but I feel as if I'd known you all the time, but I couldn't have, could I?
- The Scarecrow: I don't see how. You weren't around when I was stuffed and sewn together, were you?
- The Tin Man: And I was standing over there, rusting for the longest time.
- Dorothy: Still, I wish I could remember... but I guess it doesn't matter anyway. We know each other now, don't we?
- The Scarecrow: That's right.
- The Tin Man: We do.
- The Scarecrow: To Oz?
- The Tin Man: To Oz.
- The Scarecrow: You're going to see a wizard?
- Dorothy: Mm-hm!
- The Scarecrow: Do you think if I went with you this wizard would give me some brains?
- Dorothy: I couldn't say. But even if he didn't, you'd be no worse off than you are now.
- The Scarecrow: Yes, that's true.
- Dorothy: ...But, maybe you'd better not. I've got a witch mad at me and you might get into trouble.
- The Scarecrow: A witch? I'm not afraid of a witch! I'm not afraid of anything!... Oh, ehm... Except a lighted match.
- [fluffs his straw]
- Dorothy: I don't blame you for that.
- The Scarecrow: But I'd face a whole box full of 'em for the chance of getting some brains! Look, I won't be any trouble, because I don't need to think. And I won't try to manage things, because I can't think! Won't you take me with you?
- Dorothy: Why, of course I will!