- Ed Hatch: Joe Skipapoulos, the ponderous pachyderm of grunt and groan, the Greek Hercules, is the next heavyweight champion of the world!
- Shiner Ward: Listen, if you're so hard up, try talkin' to yourself.
- Joe Skopapoulos: I did, but I couldn't get no answers.
- Mrs. Davis: My, you oughta see all them clothes she's got. Would you believe it - three pairs of shoes!
- First woman: Great day! What's she want with three pairs of shoes?
- Second woman: She's only got two feet!
- Sadie Horn: Say, mister! Who in the name o' Jerusalem air ye, anyway?
- Joe Skopapoulos: Joe Skopapoulos.
- Sadie Horn: Huh?
- Joe Skopapoulos: Skopapoulos! Skopapoulos!
- Sadie Horn: Wut air ye? Eyetalian?
- Joe Skopapoulos: Naw, I'm of Greek accent.
- Joe Skopapoulos: Hey, is your old man home?
- Sadie Horn: Haw, last I seen o' him, he wuz goin' out possum huntin'.
- Joe Skopapoulos: Ain't he liable to come in any minute?
- Sadie Horn: I don't reckon. That wuz eleven years ago.
- Joe Skopapoulos: [after finding a horseshoe in a pillowcase]
- Joe Skopapoulos: I got it.
- Cookie: What's the idea?
- Ed Hatch: Search me. Maybe he's saving up for a horse.