Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

The lampoons, the snark, the mockery, the chorus of disapproval. Snow White Rebooted (not its official title) of 2025 has had such opprobrium heaped upon it, no doubt well deserved, that I found myself suddenly curious to see the 1937 original. I'd never wanted to before. Never saw it as a kid. Maybe I was just curious to see how far we have fallen as a species since those more innocent times.

Were they more innocent though? 1937. Before Pearl Harbor. Between the world wars. The dawn of Disney. The origin point. The first animated feature length movie, isn't it? But this was, basically, the same generation that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima, the same US of A, right? Maybe just as Reds and Blues today regard each other as different species, maybe there was a duality of sorts even then? The human heart is a mystery, is it not?

Anyways, I was tickled by all the 1930s booty twerking going on (very innocent twerking), and it was a pleasant surprise to discover this film has operetta stylings, with coloratura trilling by Snow White, crooning by the prince, and a post-prandial party full of yodelling dwarves. All the forest creatures have the cutesy Bambi look, but I don't mind telling you, when the princess got scared in the forest so did I, and when she fell down weeping my heart ached for her. I also don't mind telling you that I did wish the movie would move along just a bit faster. Just five minutes. A bit more witchy Queen, a bit less tiptoeing dwarves, that would have suited me.

The Evil Queen is a marvellous meanie, and the princess Snow White is so adorably, queasily wholesome, so pure it makes you want to vomit (or possibly to ennoble yourself and become her protector?) that I felt some appreciation of why Alvy said he preferred Snow White's nemesis (in rom-com Annie Hall, 1979).

Seeing this chaste, landmark (birthmark!) fantasy, this jewel of cinema, one can better comprehend the shamelessness, the utter hubris of Disney's foolish decision to, ahem, 'update' the story for today. As I'm sure you know, Snow White 2025 was pilloried and lampooned, almost to oblivion, months before it even opened. What a saga it has been. A gift for social media snarks, but one can't blame them. To decide to remake an immortal classic is the kind of decision that could only come from the sort of people who are today busy crushing all the dreams in Hollywood's dream factory. Let them all be sacked and float away down river, eke out there remaining days in the wilderness; no fairytale cottage, just a one-room cave for the lot of them.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). Virtue, not virtue-signalling. Pure of heart, not pure thru filters. Delight your children and the child within.