Kathleen Howard: Amelia Bissonette

It's a Gift

Amelia Bissonette

Amelia: Why were you sitting there like a stone image when those men were insulting me?
Harold: I was just waiting for one of 'em to say something to me.

Mildred Bissonette: I never knew such an ungrateful father!
Harold: Listen, you've all got to realize one thing, that I am the Master of this house.
Amelia: [Calling from another part of the house] Harold!
Harold: Yes dear!
Amelia: I don't know why it is that every time I want to talk to you, you're off in some other part of the house! I have to shout! Shout! Shout! No wonder the neighbors know all about our private affairs. I give them enough opportunity as it is to find out what's going on, without you running away as if I had the small pox or something. Every time I open my mouth...
[Harold slips out of the house]

Amelia: As I was saying - are you listening to me?
Harold: Eh, yes dear, yes dear, yes dear.
Amelia: For twenty years, I've struggled to make a home for you and the children.
Harold: That's right dear.
Amelia: Slaving day-in, day-out, to make both ends meet. Sometimes I don't know which way to turn.
Harold: Eh, turn over on your right side, dear. Sleeping on your left side's bad for the heart.

Amelia: Seems pretty strange someone would call you from a maternity hospital in the middle of the night.
Harold: They didn't call me from a maternity hospital. They called thinking this was the maternity hospital.
Amelia: A likely story!

Amelia: The only real money you'll ever have and you throw it away before you get your hands on a penny of it! What are you lying there for?
Harold: I'm tired.
Amelia: Why don't you go to bed?
Harold: I thought I'd lie down and take a little nap first.

Mildred Bissonette: Dad, quick! Mother's fainted!
Harold: Huh? Oh, here, here. Give her some of this reviver.
[Mildred gives her Mother some of Harold's hooch]
Harold: Doesn't it taste good?
Amelia: [Amelia's revived] Oh, you're an old idiot. But, I can't help loving you.
Harold: Give her another drink.