- Ollie Dee: Well, Good-bye and good luck.
- Stannie Dum: What do you mean, good-bye? I'm not going with you?
- Ollie Dee: Why, no. You have to stay here with Barnaby. You're married to him.
- Stannie Dum: [starting to cry] I don't want to stay here with him.
- Ollie Dee: Why?
- Stannie Dum: I don't love him.
- [blubbers]
- Old King Cole: [Barnaby flees after it's revealed he was responsible for kidnapping Elmer and framing Tom Tom] I'll give 50,000 guineas for the capture of that scoundrel, dead or alive.
- Stannie Dum: Dead or alive?
- Old King Cole: Dead or alive!
- Stannie Dum: Can't you make up your mind how you want him?
- Ollie Dee: [Stannie enters limping through the front door] Why, I thought I left you upstairs in the bedroom?
- Stannie Dum: You did.
- Ollie Dee: Well, how'd you get down here?
- Stannie Dum: I fell out the window.
- Barnaby: Who is it?
- Stannie Dum: It's me.
- Barnaby: What do you want of this hour of the night?
- Stannie Dum: Well, you see, Ollie and I are sorry for what happened this afternoon, and just to show you that we're not mad at you, we brought you a little Christmas present. It's from me and from Ollie.
- Barnaby: [incredulously] Christmas present in the middle of July?
- Stannie Dum: Oh, oh, yes. you see, we always do our Christmas shopping early. If you'll open the door, I'll bring it right in for you.
- Barnaby: I'll be right down.
- Ollie Dee: [Bo Peep is being forced to marry Barnaby] I'm sorry, Bo-Peep. That you have to choose me for the best man. Why'd rather do anything in this world that will have to give you away? Well, Stan is so upset he doesn't even going to the wedding.
- [turning to Stannie]
- Ollie Dee: You're upset aren't you, Stannie?
- Stannie Dum: Upset? I'm housebroken.
- Ollie Dee: Not housebroken!
- [turning to Bo Peep]
- Ollie Dee: He means heartbroken. 'Housebroken'. Huh!
- [Stannie nibbles on pig sausage evidence]
- Stannie Dum: It doesn't taste like pig sausage to me.
- Ollie Dee: What does it taste like?
- Stannie Dum: It tastes like pork. Try it.
- Ollie Dee: [takes a bite] Why, that's neither pig nor pork. It's beef.
- Stannie Dum: Beef?
- Ollie Dee: I smell a rat.
- [Stannie smells the sausage]
- Ollie Dee: Barnaby's got a hand in that.
- [Stannie starts examining the sausage]
- Ollie Dee: I believe that Little Elmer is still alive...
- [claps]
- Ollie Dee: Come on, we'll find out.
- [Stan and Ollie tries to rescue Little Elmer]
- Ollie Dee: Well, There's nothing to be afraid of. You and he are just like that.
- Stannie Dum: But, that was before we were married.
- Barnaby: You may go.
- Ollie Dee: Thank you, sir.
- Stannie Dum: Does that mean we're free?
- Barnaby: Yes... And from now on, you and I are going to be very close friends.
- Ollie Dee: [disappointed; indicates to Stannie] Does that mean that he doesn't have to be dunked?
- Barnaby: Yes.
- Stannie Dum: Isn't that nice?
- Ollie Dee: What?
- Stannie Dum: He and I are just like that. And I don't have to get wet.
- Ollie Dee: Oh, is that so?
- [shoves Stannie into the pond]
- Old King Cole: Why all the commotion? Have you no reverence for my beauty sleep?
- Chief of Police: Sorry, your majesty. But, we were celebrating the rescue of Tom-Tom and Bo-Peep from Bogeyland, sir.
- Old King Cole: Splendid news! And who had the courage to do this?
- Chief of Police: They did, your majesty!
- Barnaby: Good morning, my pretty little butterfly.
- Bo-Peep: Good morning, Mr. Barnaby.
- Barnaby: [shows her the flowers] I bring you a little bouquet. A fragrant token of my deep devotion.
- Bo-Peep: [takes the flowers from him] Thank you very much, Mr. Barnaby. And now, I have to leave you, sir. My... my sheep are...
- Barnaby: [stops her with his cane] Indeed... I have longer admired you, gazed with wonder on your sweet and maidenly virtue, marveled at your tender loveliness. In short: I'm asking you to become my wife.
- Bo-Peep: I... I'm sorry, Mr. Barnaby. And I hope you won't think me ungrateful, But...
- Barnaby: I'm a very rich man, my dear.
- Bo-Peep: Please.
- Barnaby: Think carefully, child. Less I resort to other means. And that would be an ugly way to win a pretty wife.
- Bo-Peep: I wouldn't marry you if you were young, which you can't be. If you were honest which you never were and if you were about to die, tomorrow which is too much to hope for!
- [drops the flower on him]
- Barnaby: We shall meet again, my pretty little buttercup. And then you will sing to a different tune.
- [Sheep bleating at him, Barnaby snarls at the sheep, sheep runs away]
- Barnaby: You see, child? Such folly. Wasting your affection on a common pignapper.
- Bo-Peep: Let me go, let me go! Tom-Tom is innocent and you know it.
- [hitting Barnaby]
- Bo-Peep: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
- [crying]
- Ollie Dee: Just a minute, just a minute!
- [as he carries Little Elmer]
- Crowd: It's Little Elmer!
- Old King Cole: Silence.
- Ollie Dee: Mr. Majesty? Tom-Tom was innocent. We found Little Elmer in Barnaby's cellar!
- [Everyone in Toyland gasps]
- Townsman: Let's get him!
- [All of Toyland people chasing Barnaby]
- [Barnaby disappears down well. Stannie and Ollie corner him]
- Stannie Dum: Did he come up?
- Ollie Dee: Shhh, no.
- [into the well]
- Ollie Dee: Are you coming up?
- Stannie Dum: You better come up dead or alive!
- Ollie Dee: Now, how can he come up dead when he's alive?
- Stannie Dum: Let's drop a rock on him. That'll make him dead when he's alive.
- Ollie Dee: Now you're talkin' sense.
- [takes up the big rock and drops into the well]
- Stannie Dum: Look out!
- Ollie Dee: Don't tell him to look out!
- Stannie Dum: Well, it might have hit hm.
- Ollie Dee: That's what we want it to do!
- Stannie Dum: [into the well] Did it hit you?
- Ollie Dee: Not a sound.
- Stannie Dum: It must have got him.
- Stannie Dum: [Ollie takes a note from the money box and tries to read. Stan turns it right-side-up. The note says "I.O.U $1.47'] I borrowed it.
- Ollie Dee: I know you borrowed it. But, what did you borrow it for?
- Stannie Dum: Well, you see? I have to buy some more pee-wees. I lost three of them playing with Little Jack Horner.
- Ollie Dee: [to the audience] 'Had to buy some more pee-wees'.
- Bo-Peep: Tom-Tom... I don't know what mother will do, if they will really lost.
- Tom-Tom: Aw, don't worry. They'll be found. You've lost them before, haven't you? As a matter of fact, the last month, you lost them five times.
- Bo-Peep: Oh, I couldn't have?
- Tom-Tom: Yes, you did. And four times, the month before that. You see? You're getting worse.
- [Bo-Peep nods, sniffles]
- Tom-Tom: What you need is someone to help you look after the darn things.
- Bo-Peep: Who, for instance?
- Tom-Tom: Oh, He'd have to be most unusual, energetic, resourceful and with any amount of patience. A fellow sort of... Well, like me.
- [Bo-Peep turns to Tom-Tom, scoffs and she turns back]
- Tom-Tom: Not interested?
- [Bo-Peep shook her head]
- Tom-Tom: Not even a little bit?
- [She shook her head again, He opens the foot stocks, grabs her ankles, closes them]
- Tom-Tom: Then, I'll just keep you there until you are interested.
- Barnaby: Friends of Toyland... I want you all to meet: The future Mrs. Silas Barnaby.
- [All the Toyland people are booing]
- Stannie Dum: You're right Ollie. You can't turn blood into a stone.
- Ollie Dee: What do you mean?
- Stannie Dum: Huh?
- Ollie Dee: What do you mean?
- Stannie Dum: Well, her talking to Barnaby, is just a matter of pouring one ear into another and coming out the other side. It can't be done.
- The Toy Maker: [showing off one of the toy soldiers built for Santa's order] Isn't it wonderful? It does everything but talk.
- Santa Claus: Wonderful, yes. But not what I ordered.
- The Toy Maker: What do you mean?
- Santa Claus: I ordered 600 soldiers at 1 foot high.
- The Toy Maker: What?
- [turning to Stannie Dum]
- The Toy Maker: You took that order. What was it?
- Stannie Dum: I thought you said 100 soldiers at 6 foot high.
- Santa Claus: [laughing] You've got the order all wrong! I couldn't give those things to my children to play with.
- [laughing continues]
- The Toy Maker: Put it back in the box and get out of here! You're through!
- Ollie Dee: Well, you know The Toymaker and I are just like that!
- [crosses his fingers for emphasis, to Stannie]
- Ollie Dee: Aren't we, Stanley?
- Stannie Dum: Are you?
- Ollie Dee: Why, certainly.
- Stannie Dum: [looking at Ollie's crossed fingers] Which is you?
- Ollie Dee: [points to his fingers] Why, this one right... Never mind 'which is you'. Come on and let's go.
- Ollie Dee: Come on, we'll be late for work.
- Stannie Dum: Say listen, when you get that money from the Toymaker, will you borrow a little extra for me?
- Ollie Dee: What for?
- Stannie Dum: Well, I lost me Pee-wee and I'll have to get some more.
- Ollie Dee: Get in here now, will you? Pee-wee!
- Bo-Peep: Tom-Tom!
- Tom-Tom: Bo-Peep!
- Bo-Peep: Oh, Tom-Tom!
- [they hug each other]
- Bo-Peep: Stan and Ollie found Little Elmer alive.
- Tom-Tom: Where?
- Bo-Peep: In Barnaby's cellar.
- Tom-Tom: I knew he had something to do with this. Oh, If I ever gets my hands on him. Come on. We'll find out the way out here.
- [walks with him]
- Bo-Peep: Tom-Tom, we'll never find a way out of here.
- Tom-Tom: Oh, yes. we will. Come on.
- Stannie Dum: Oh, master?
- The Toy Maker: What?
- Stannie Dum: Ollie wants to speak to you.
- The Toy Maker: [to Ollie Dee] Well, what is it?
- Ollie Dee: Well, Could I speak to you privately please, sir? I've got a very important question that I want to ask you.
- The Toy Maker: Don't bother me now. Can't you see that I'm busy? Go on with your work.
- Ollie Dee: Well, if you knew how important it was, you'd see me privately because it's...
- The Toy Maker: Will you shut up, and go on with your work?
- [bangs the mallet, Stannie Dum turns on the choo-choo train, it moves, pushes the paint can and spills at the Toymaker]
- Tom-Tom: My dear friends and citizens of Toyland... I want you all to meet: The future Mrs. Piper!
- [All the Toyland people are cheering]
- Bo-Peep: You've got to listen to me, Your majesty. You've got to hear me. Tom-Tom knows nothing about this... The little pigs was a friends of ours. Why should he want to hurt them? The violin and hat were in the house that we got home... He's innocent, I'd tell you. Innocent!
- [she is crying]
- Old King Cole: It is with deep regret that I have to enforce the law in our kingdom. Take him away.
- [Crowd booing, Two dunkers in black are try to unlock the footstocks, Barnaby laughs, takes Tom-Tom to Bogeyland]
- Tom-Tom: I'd tell you, I didn't ! I'd tell you, I didn't! I didn't steal the pig! I didn't, I'd tell you!
- Bo-Peep: Tom-Tom... Tom-Tom! Tom-Tom!
- [Barnaby cackling]
- Old King Cole: [reads the another scroll] Whereas: Tom-Tom Piper has been found guilty of Pignapping, he will be immediately banished to Bogeyland.
- Barnaby: Your majesty? What are we waiting for?
- Old King Cole: Oh, yes... Proceed with the dunking!
- [laughing, Dunker comes to them and unlocking the foot stocks]
- Dunker: Come on... You're first. Come on.
- [Ollie waving to Stannie]
- Stannie Dum: Ollie?
- Ollie Dee: What?
- Stannie Dum: Here.
- [comes back to Stannie Dum]
- Stannie Dum: You better give me your watch. I'll hold it for you until you come out.
- [Ollie takes the watch from his pocket and give it to Stannie]
- Ollie Dee: Thanks. Now, take good care of it. Because, I wouldn't have anything happen to that to the world.
- Stannie Dum: I will.
- Ollie Dee: Good-bye.
- Stannie Dum: Good-bye.
- Dunker: Come on?
- Ollie Dee: All right.
- [Dunker takes him to the dunking chair]
- Barnaby: Splendid!
- [cackling]
- Balloon Man: Good morning, Mother Goose!
- Mother Goose: Good morning!
- [He takes all the balloons]
- Balloon Man: Here you are, balloons! All colors of the rainbow!
- [last lines]
- Ollie Dee: Let's get the cannon and give them a parting shot!
- [Stannie Dum and Ollie Dee trying to get the cannon inside the darts, moves everything]
- Ollie Dee: Are you ready? Let it go!
- [Stannie lights the match for the cannon, Ollie Dee and everyone cover their ears, the cannon flips over, booms at Ollie Dee with darts. He screams, everyone in Toyland laughing at him. Stannie takes the darts out of Ollie's back]
- Barnaby: How do you do, my dear Mrs. Peep?
- Widow Peep: How do you do, Mr. Barnaby?
- Barnaby: And how's your charming daughter, Miss Bo-Peep?
- Widow Peep: Very well, thank you.
- Barnaby: Then, May I be permitted to pay my respect?
- Widow Peep: Sorry. But, she's out tending her sheep.
- Barnaby: Thank you.
- [Silas Barnaby ties Little Elmer up in his hall, cackling]
- Barnaby: Sit still. There.
- [takes his hat, to his minion]
- Barnaby: Take this evidence and place it in Tom-Tom's house.
- [gives him the hat and violin, grabs the sausages, laughs]
- Barnaby's Minion: Master? Why's the sausage?
- Barnaby: That will prove that he not only stole the pig. But, that he also ground him into sausage.
- [His minion nods, walks away and turns back to Elmer]
- Barnaby: And now, Little Elmer... Heh-heh. We shall see.
- Old King Cole: Tom, my boy. You knew the penalty for pignapping. Why did you do it?
- Tom-Tom: But, I didn't do it. I don't even know what you're talking about.
- Old King Cole: How can you say that? In view of this evidence found in your house?
- [he points to the exhibits are violin, sausages and his hat]
- [Stannie takes his lunch. But, gears crashes the drum, Toymaker and crew reacts]
- Ollie Dee: Good morning, master.
- The Toy Maker: What do you mean "Good morning"? You know you're half and hour late? If this happens again, it means instant dismissal. Get to work.
- [Stannie Dum and Ollie Dee began to work]
- The Toy Maker: Come out of there! Why didn't you stop it, you blithering idiots? Now, get out and stay out!
- Ollie Dee: Yes, sir.
- [they get out and Stannie asks him]
- Stannie Dum: Aren't you gonna ask him about the money for the mortgage?
- The Toy Maker: [reacts to asking him] What's THAT?
- Ollie Dee: Just skip it.
- [turns to Stannie Dum]
- Ollie Dee: It's a fine time ask for money!
- [pushes him and gets out of the Toy Factory]
- Bo-Peep: Your majesty, you've made a horrible mistake. Tom-Tom knows nothing about this. He's been with me all day.
- [turns to Widow Peep]
- Bo-Peep: Hasn't he, mumsie?
- Widow Peep: That's right, your majesty.
- Barnaby: Why not it's the law takes its course, your majesty?
- [Toyland crowd yelling]
- Old King Cole: [reads the scroll] Whereas: Ollie Dee and Stannie Dum have been found guilty of burglary, They will be ducked and thereafter exiled to Bogeyland forever.
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