Son of a Sailor (1933)

Joe E. Brown: 'Handsome' Callahan

Photos 

Quotes 

• 'Handsome' Callahan : That's the ticket!

• 'Handsome' Callahan : Listen, I'll pretend that I'm a dame.

• 'Gaga' : Say, Handsome, them fellas up there said you couldn't lick a postage stamp! And they asked me to tell ya.

  'Handsome' Callahan : Ah, pay no attention to the deadwood, Gaga. The higher up a man like goes in the Navy, the more jealous the small fry gets.

• 'Duke' : How did you get here?

  'Handsome' Callahan : I was Shanghai'd.

  'Duke' : Shanghai'd?

  'Handsome' Callahan : Yeah. Kidnapped by a dame. I was standin' on the corner, minding my own business, when she sneaked up behind me. Shot me with a poison arrow. Threw me in her car. And here I am.

• 'Handsome' Callahan : Say, I thought you said you lived on a ranch?

  Helen Farnsworth : I do. This is it.

  'Handsome' Callahan : What do raise? Elephants?

• Helen Farnsworth : You must know Admiral Farnsworth too?

  'Handsome' Callahan : You mean old Gas Bag Farnsworth?

  Helen Farnsworth : Gas Bag?

  'Handsome' Callahan : Say that guy could talk an ear off a tin horse. If he can fight like he can talk, say listen, all the Navy would need would be him in a rowboat.

• Helen Farnsworth : Can I drop you anywhere?

  'Handsome' Callahan : I'm not going anyplace.

• Queenie : You won't forget me, will ya?

  'Handsome' Callahan : Forget you? Say listen sister, elephants and sailors never forget.

• 'Handsome' Callahan : Take it easy, sister. There's something screwy around here.

  Queenie : Yeah and I'm lookin' right at it.

• 'Handsome' Callahan : You look tired. Why don't you go to sleep?

  Vincent : Oh, I can't sleep, sir. Insomnia. I haven't slept nights since I was a boy. My father used to play me to sleep with his harmonica.

  'Handsome' Callahan : Oh, is that so?

  Vincent : Yes, sir. He used to play a little tune about a - a little pickaninny, sir.

  'Handsome' Callahan : Say, that's a coincidence. I know a little tune about a pickaninny.

• The Baroness : Please sit down.

  'Handsome' Callahan : I don't wanna sit down. I've been sittin' all night.

  The Baroness : Oh, well, you'll sit to please me, won't you?

• Admiral Farnsworth : Say, I bet you'll never forget that time you two got mixed up with those native dancers down in Tahiti.

  'Handsome' Callahan : Yeah, good old Tahati.

• 'Handsome' Callahan : I may be right or a may be wrong. Only time will tell.

• 'Handsome' Callahan : Not a bad lookin' squaw, either. But, what a kidder! You know what she told me? She said that Mussolini, eleven Admirals, and Babe Ruth was gonna be here this afternoon.

• 'Handsome' Callahan : Oh, lady, I can't stay in here with you. It ain't proper.

  The Baroness : Oh, please, you can't go. You mustn't. I'm so frightened. Oh, and you're so big and strong.

  'Handsome' Callahan : Listen, lady, if I'm gonna stay here, you gotta control yourself.

  The Baroness : How can I control myself with you so close. You're asking too much.