Pardon Us (1931)
James Finlayson: Schoolteacher
Photos
Quotes
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Schoolteacher : You spell "Needle!"
Oliver : [pause] N-E-I-D-L-E.
Schoolteacher : There is no "I" in needle!
Stanley : Then it's a rotten needle.
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Schoolteacher : Now, what is a comet? You!
Prisoner : A comet. A comet is a star with a tale on it.
Schoolteacher : Right.
[points to Stan]
Schoolteacher : Name one.
Stanley : Rin Tin Tin.
Schoolteacher : D'oh!
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Schoolteacher : We will now have the roll call. Those that are here will answer "present." Those that are not here will say "absent."
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Schoolteacher : We shall now have an intelligence test. Who was Columbus?
Prisoner : The mayor of Ohio.
Schoolteacher : [pause] What did he do?
Insurgent Convict : He died.
Schoolteacher : Well, of course he died. Who killed him?
The Tiger : Cock Robin.
Schoolteacher : Who said *that*?
The Tiger : I did.
Schoolteacher : [pause] Correct.
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Schoolteacher : What is a blizzard?
Stanley : A blizzard? A blizzard is the inside of a buzzard.
Schoolteacher : Fresh, huh?
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Schoolteacher : How many times does three go into nine?
Stanley : ...Three times.
Schoolteacher : Correct.
Stanley : And two left over.
Schoolteacher : [nods; Ollie begins to giggle] What are you laughing at?
Oliver : There's only one left over.
Schoolteacher : D'oh!