Let me start by saying, I am a pretty avid Lovecraft fan, and I own every movie even remotely based on his work (many of which are pretty bad, but I still find something to love in them) I also love bad/low budget horror. I'll watch Full Moon's entire catalog any day of the week. That said - I never thought I would see the day someone made a movie worse than Troll 2. But here it is. Honestly, this is so bad it upset me. The script is deeply insulting to H. P. Lovecraft's legacy and insulting to the intelligence of anyone watching this trash fire. Most of these actors couldn't pass acting school with a bribe. I wish I could say the worst thing about the script was how predictable it is (which it is), but there is so, so much worse than that going on here. Literally, the song "row your boat" is used as an evil chant by the cult members in the film. You know...."row, row, row your boat"....cause nothing is more chiling than bad actors singing a jingle randomly (it literally isn't even used for summoning or anything, they just start singing a round.... They name drop Cthulhu pointlessly at the beginning of the film while hypnotizing someone with a lighter, establishing themselves as a Cthulhu cult - a pointless scene which is thrown away almost immediately because (as anyone with a passing familiarity with Lovecraft knows), this is a Dagon story. The cast for some reason keeps making ahegao faces and going cross-eyed. Racial slurs? Yup. And Dagon when he appears is a 5'4 guy in a really bad kaiju outfit. The best makeup in the film is a "fish faced" person that I'm pretty sure was borrowed from the Barge People movie. (still no idea why its even in the film as that is one of many scenes that is just there and contributes nothing to the story. Listen, I want to say this is one of those movies that will have you laughing at how bad it is, but it's too boring to even pull that off. I do not have the words for how much I want to Thanos snap this movie out of existance.
Review of The Deep Ones
