Review of Arachnia

Arachnia (2003 Video)
3/10
THIS FILM ISN'T A LADIES PICNIC!!!
13 April 2020
If I had to take a guess on where the inspiration for this film came from, I would have to say that it was from the previous years spider release, Eight Legged Freaks which was made in like two weeks apparently. This film looks like it was made in a couple of hours. Not saying it was a total suckfest, but definitely not all that good as there is so much annoying talking between the characters, lots of titillation without actually having the titillation and spiders that the makers of this movie were not sure how they come about.

The story has a group of students and their professor flying to some big dig happening in Arizona. The professor is pompous and actually brought two of the girls because he has the hots for them. Meteors are flying through the air and one crashes nearby sending powerful shock waves which cause the plan to crash. They find a broken down house to stay out before a farmer comes and wants the professor to see this spider in the barn. The professor says it's fake, but soon a bunch of them come and begin trying to kill the group out in the middle of nowhere.

The story may have worked with more gore, more likable characters and better effects. As it is, you will want Deke dead first, then the professor and then the young lady who does not scream all the time, but instead says everything sarcastically then the pilot that reminds me of that guy on Friends and then the two cute girls who scream and talk a lot. You will just want to see them all dead is what I'm saying! The effects could be forgiven if we had more gore and good characters, but since we don't, at times it looks like a Ray Harryhausen film if he didn't try at all.

So, not the best film in the world, but certainly not the worst either. Not sure what the point of the bath scene and the two girls in bed scene as nothing is shown in either scene and both seem to lead up to something bordering on sexy before nothing happens. The cave scenes look alright, but why are there worms or were they supposed to be spiders? Also, I am doubting a captain of anything can just take an entire platoon to the middle of nowhere just cause his daughter was crying on the phone. Lots of idiocy going on, but at least I had the satisfaction of watching Deke pulled apart!
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