5/10
Sadomania aka: How to make a movie without really trying
6 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
With 'Sadomania', director Jess Franco has deftly created yet another cinematic masterpiece, while at the same time he completely blows the lid off of the shadowy underworld of topless female slave camps. (Not surprisingly, this gem was completely ignored by the snooty snobs on the Oscar committee!) The film also exposes just how easy it is to assemble a bevy of attractive young 'actresses' in the middle of nowhere and convince them to degrade themselves for an entire film.

A young newlywed couple is honeymooning along a desolate, rocky, section of the Spanish coastline, (why?!), when they are suddenly hijacked and taken prisoner by the sadistic warden of a local slave camp and her, topless, female armed guards. The husband is quickly released and ordered to never return, (oh, O.K.!), while his hot wife remains captive. She is placed with the other slaves and forced to crack rocks along the coast, beneath the blazing sun, and under the watchful eyes of the guards. Their uniforms consist of 'Daisy Duke' short shorts and sneakers. In fact, there is not a bra in sight for the entire film. These poor wretches aren't even provided with some basic sunscreen! Enter the 'Governor', a man who lacks any morals, nor, apparently, any blood flow to his penis. He and his warden like to kill prisoners for sport. One blond hottie soon gets in a fight with one of the guards, and the warden orders that they fight to the death to settle their differences. The fight scene which follows is of such complexity that it clearly took seconds to choreograph. Blondie finally dispatches her adversary, but her skill, and body, have caught the attention of the Governor. He has her brought to his home, where he devises a perverted plan which will finally allow him to successfully pork his smokin' hot wife. Enter 'Panzer' the Wonder Pooch, (I just made that name up). Panzer is a large German Shepard with a fondness for hot, blond, slave chicks. As the Governor and his wife watch, Panzer is set loose upon the naked and shackled slave chick. He dives into humping slave girl with gusto. (Surprisingly, Panzer chooses the missionary position over doggy style!) This sick display of bestiality is enough to finally give the Governor a stiffy, and he is able to successfully pork his wife to completion. (Panzer later won the award for 'Best Dog on Blond Chick Sex Scene' at the Cannes de Alpo awards.) Next, the Governor's wife decides to sell slave girl to another slaver, and she drives her to a local wharf to make the deal. Following the sale, the evil slaver locks slave girl in the cargo hold of his boat and sets sail for.....who knows? As expected, his own horniness soon gets the better of him, and he begins raping slave girl. She spots his gun in his belt and sees an opportunity for escape. She uses her feminine charm to convince the slaver to unshackle her, and when he does she quickly snatches the pistol from his belt. Now with the upper hand, she displays a moment of sheer stupidity. She holds the gun a mere few inches from his face and upraised hands and orders him not to move. Of course, he immediately swats the gun from her grasp, and then proceeds to continue dry humping her into submission. The viewer is treated to the sight of his hairy ass rising and falling between her thighs. At this point, my curiosity has been more than satisfied, and I decide to extricate myself from this sucking vortex of suckiness. Sorry, if you want to know how it all ends you'll have to waste an hour and a half of your own life. 5 stars given only for the wealth of gratuitous topless and full frontal nudity. Show less
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