Review of Body

Body (I) (2015)
2/10
Garbage.
12 September 2016
Now, I'm not naïve, I didn't go into this movie expecting a masterpiece. In fact, I didn't really expect it to be very good at all. I did however; expect it to have at least one or two positive aspects and to not insult my intelligence for the duration of the entire 'movie'.

It was late, I was tired and I saw the runtime was 75 minutes. That was enough for me to put it on. I didn't look into it before viewing and was going into this movie blind, not really knowing what to expect, other than it was a low budget horror/thriller movie about 3 girls.

When films are that bad I usually do spoiler reviews so I can rant and rave about the movie in full, taking digs at the plot holes and ending. This movie doesn't even deserve that. There is practically no plot to ruin. The 'story' revolves around 3 girls who I imagine are supposed to be teenagers yet look about 30 years old.. They are having fun on Christmas Eve, Eve, smoking and drinking when they decide they want to do something wild. They drive to one of the girls Uncles mansions as he is on holiday and the house is empty. Before long things go wrong and the girls find themselves in a situation which is insultingly easy to resolve yet they don't seem to have a brain cell between them and drag out their indecisiveness and stupidity for the rest of the movie.

You have all the cliché characters here: The leader of the pack who simply has to raise her voice to get the other girls to do what she wants. She's not intimidating or scary, just purely annoying. Then you have the wimp of the group who is easily lead and scared of everything, she spends the entirety shivering and having anxiety attacks. Then you have the middle girl, the Plain Jane, no real character traits and is seemingly only there to make up the numbers. The acting is abysmal, its wooden, predictable and simply laughable. The harder they try to be scared or serious the funnier it is. The script they are given to work with is even worse with its awful run of the mill conversations and clichéd punchlines.

It's described as a 'psychological thriller' which is a complete lie. That implies that it's thought provoking and intelligent, that it requires the viewer to get immersed into the characters minds. I have no problem with low budget movies; I can see past poor acting and to some extents a poor script. But when they are all put together, with a weak plot with humungous plot holes, I really cannot pick out any positives. Actually, I do have one: The runtime of 75 minutes, or maybe even that's too long.

2/10
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