What would a film written & directed by a ten-year old boy look like? That may sound like a cute idea but I assure you it's miserable to suffer through.
Now I've seen yet another Laura Gemser performance but I am not kidding when I say that you'd see more of her in a 30" commercial for dish soap. My girlfriend is less covered up when she's walking around in a below-zero blizzard, and at least I get to see her all day, instead of simply several seconds now & then.
I realize that part of this supposedly features a TV battle game but any such TV show would be canceled after one episode. This whole film appears as though they were attempting to make all characters move as if in a video-game. That may sound like an interesting concept but it is not. If you wish to make things more exciting, you speed things up; you don't slow everything down.
"Futuristic action" No, it is not. "Futuristic" means as if in the future. It does not mean claimed to be set in the future but written & produced by such uncreative slags that it more resembles the distant past, as predicting the future would require imagination, intelligence, and a decent budget. "Hey, Zimbo, they didn't have machine guns or motorcycles in the distant past." But if they had, they wouldn't have gotten off their zippy transportation, dropped their automatic weapons, and fought hand-to-hand with swords. Those moronic nonmutants deserved to die! This was "action" in the sense that jumping off your scooter and engaging in a "battle" dance is, i.e. it was not.
"fun" "romp" -- No character in this film had any fun, and I don't grasp how viewers can. I guess some people enjoy watching hospital soap operas but not me. "Romp" implies fun & humor but I saw none whatsoever. There's a difference between a train wreck and a panel van which slowly gets mired in a puddle of muck. Oh, but we were taught an important lesson about how we should be kinder to the mutants we meet, as they likely have hidden good features to make up for their mutantism? How could Laura Gemser have sunk this low?
Now I've seen yet another Laura Gemser performance but I am not kidding when I say that you'd see more of her in a 30" commercial for dish soap. My girlfriend is less covered up when she's walking around in a below-zero blizzard, and at least I get to see her all day, instead of simply several seconds now & then.
I realize that part of this supposedly features a TV battle game but any such TV show would be canceled after one episode. This whole film appears as though they were attempting to make all characters move as if in a video-game. That may sound like an interesting concept but it is not. If you wish to make things more exciting, you speed things up; you don't slow everything down.
"Futuristic action" No, it is not. "Futuristic" means as if in the future. It does not mean claimed to be set in the future but written & produced by such uncreative slags that it more resembles the distant past, as predicting the future would require imagination, intelligence, and a decent budget. "Hey, Zimbo, they didn't have machine guns or motorcycles in the distant past." But if they had, they wouldn't have gotten off their zippy transportation, dropped their automatic weapons, and fought hand-to-hand with swords. Those moronic nonmutants deserved to die! This was "action" in the sense that jumping off your scooter and engaging in a "battle" dance is, i.e. it was not.
"fun" "romp" -- No character in this film had any fun, and I don't grasp how viewers can. I guess some people enjoy watching hospital soap operas but not me. "Romp" implies fun & humor but I saw none whatsoever. There's a difference between a train wreck and a panel van which slowly gets mired in a puddle of muck. Oh, but we were taught an important lesson about how we should be kinder to the mutants we meet, as they likely have hidden good features to make up for their mutantism? How could Laura Gemser have sunk this low?