It's apparent from the beginning that this isn't going to be a true film noir spoof when a Bogart impersonator, after speaking the opening credits, quotes "Casablanca", which is not a film noir. Michael Caine, as a British private detective in Los Angeles, has too much going on in his office to take on the case searching for an adopted girl whose whereabouts he traces to the Pendergraast mansion in Beverly Hills. Encountering the sleazy Uncle (Thayer David) who refuses to divulge any information, he then finds two young women (Natalie Wood and Kitty Winn) and their trashy mother (Dorothy Adams) whom he questions to determine which one is the adopted member of the family. Of course, Caine ends up in several adventures with Wood, some other sleazy characters, and ultimately on a cruise ship where everything is (most convolutedly) revealed.
I've seen hundreds of film noirs and many of the later day tributes ("Chinatown") and spoofs ("Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid"), and this is probably one of the worst I have seen. It's certainly not Caine's fault-he is actually the only person in the film to retain their dignity. Natalie Wood is certainly no film noir femme fatale, and lacks true acting chops to take this character seriously. She brays and grins her way eerily throughout her entire performance, and while she is certainly beautiful, it is not a beauty that lights up on the screen. It's also disconcerting to see her on the cruise ship in the film's final with her real-life tragic demise (a few years away) set just miles from where this obviously took place.
I've seen hundreds of film noirs and many of the later day tributes ("Chinatown") and spoofs ("Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid"), and this is probably one of the worst I have seen. It's certainly not Caine's fault-he is actually the only person in the film to retain their dignity. Natalie Wood is certainly no film noir femme fatale, and lacks true acting chops to take this character seriously. She brays and grins her way eerily throughout her entire performance, and while she is certainly beautiful, it is not a beauty that lights up on the screen. It's also disconcerting to see her on the cruise ship in the film's final with her real-life tragic demise (a few years away) set just miles from where this obviously took place.