Isolation (2005)
5/10
A killer mutant cow foetus should be more fun than this.
30 June 2008
After watching the goddawful Shrooms, I googled 'Irish horror films' to see if anything worthwhile horror-wise had actually come out of the 'Emerald Isle' in recent years; Isolation was a title that repeatedly came up, so I thought I'd give it a go. However, whilst nowhere near as bad as the aforementioned Shrooms (but then again, not much is), Isolation isn't a film I'd recommend, being rather too slow paced (I know, I know... this is to build suspense and develop characters, but it's also boring), riddled with plot holes, and ultimately coming off as a low rent Alien rip-off, albeit one set on a farm.

John Lynch plays Dan, a cattle farmer who regrets allowing a scientist to experiment on one of his cows after it gives birth to a vicious calf, which in turn spawns a rapidly mutating 'inside-out' monster foetus that proceeds to attack anyone unlucky enough to cross its path. Admittedly, this sounds like a lot of fun—kinda like Black Sheep with udders—but it isn't: it's plodding, not particularly scary (there's a couple of effective 'jumps', but not a lot in the way of genuine terror), and way too derivative: this really is nothing more than your standard monster on the loose story, given a rural twist.

Occasionally, there are glimmers of inspiration, such as a few nasty deaths utilising a nasty piece of farmyard equipment used to kill animals, and there is also a touch of reasonable gore, but with a badly conceived monster (that looked like a cross between a crispy wonton and a chitinous prawn to me), this film doesn't go a long way to convince me that Irish horror movies are gonna have much of an impact on the genre.

Still, if I can find a copy, I expect I'll give Dead Meat a chance (I love zombie films), and I might even check out the upcoming Freakdog, from Shrooms director Paddy Breathnach—after all, it's GOTTA be better than his last effort.
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