What If God Were the Sun? (2007 TV Movie)
Art Imitating Life
15 May 2007
Probably out of being curious of the odd title, I watched this movie last night, and, though a man, found that it reminded me of my own suffering at this time in my life.

My closest sibling (like Alma, a devout Catholic) passed away from cancer just before Christmas, and, I found myself working back at the hospital just 48 hours after the funeral - likely much too soon, as I've been finding out over the past two months.

Similar to Lacey, I was "doing well" until late March, when, a social worker friend of mine (a woman the same age as my sister) became very ill, and, somehow, the stress of this new illness made me suddenly feel that I was unable to handle the stress of what happened in December.

Since then those at the hospital know that I'm struggling, and even a priest or two that I know are concerned, and, while I get counseling, I've decided that it's something that I'm going to have to deal with, and hope that things will get better as time passes.

Unlike Lacey, I don't have a live-in friend or spouse to go home to (not that that helped her, either), so, being alone (without the frequent phone support of my sister) is very difficult to deal with. Being at the hospital, well, I'm tempted to say it doesn't help, but, I should know that being around others does help, but, as Lacey also found, sometimes it doesn't.

This weekend will be the real test - my nephew is getting married, and, there's much pressure to spend time with others in my family, but, I'm tempted just to spend time at the hospital.

While the movie did stray into a peculiar fantasy at times, it did seem to be meant for me to watch it - as Lacey found, God does indeed work in mysterious, but loving ways...

Frank
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