Enjoyably silly kung fu version of the dirty-dozen, with comedy characters and high-jinx mixed in with a dash of mildly gory violence. A bunch of misfits (why these guys were selected for an 'incredible mission' is never explained) have to be turned into 'top kung fu fighters' by top kicker John Liu. The misfits consist of a strongman (who looks and sounds like Vinnie Jones), an acrobat, a cowardly coffin maker, a guy who works in a brothel (and looks fairly convincing when dressed as a woman in one of the film's sillier plot strands) and a couple of standard guys. Robert Tai must get a mention as an albino bad guy with a cool cape. There's also some picturesque locations, from steaming volcanic mountains to lonely windmills on a hill. As a fan of cheesy dubbing, the voice-overs are hilarious, from John Liu's cowboy style drawl to some bizarre nerdy snivelling voices for the film's baddies and our hero undertaker. Some genuinely funny jokes (the juggler revealing his 'speciality' and the entire team remaining completely unimpressed) and great lines "When I say jump, you bloody well jump, and when I say crawl, you bloody well crawl!" to "Teacher, what should we do if you tell us to kill you? ....You should do it, but I'm unlikely ever to ask you!" (this followed by a crash zoom of John Liu's smirking face - it's not foreshadowing, it's never mentioned again). The kung fu is pretty good - a lot of complicated group fighting. There's even a twist at the end! A lot of fun, I enjoyed it - although the ending is sad, Hamlet-style death for everyone except 'top kicker' John Liu.
Review of Kung-Fu Commandos
