janitorclyde Review of L.A. Streetfighters

L.A. Streetfighters (1985)

This, my friends, is the greatest movie ever made!!!!

[10/10 · 25 June 2005]

And to think I kinda saw this movie on accident... This movie was included in one of those crappy 4 movie DVD packs called "Kung Fu Wars." I bought it because it had "The Crippled Masters," a heartwarming film that shows that one should not be chained down by disabilities. Anyway, on the first side of the disc was this Ninja Turf, which I figured would be funny because 80s Martial Arts + the word "Turf" = an always unforgettable experience. My God, this movie is amazing! How can you not love rival high school gangs who are all in their 40s, talking about teen life and how their mommy doesn't understand them, and beating the crap out of each other! Also, the 80s action movie homo-eroticism is in full swing in this baby! In one scene, one of the guys from the good gang is naked, taking a shower, and Young (played by the bad ass Jun Chong!!!) approaches the naked guy, hands him a banana, and in crappy dubbing says, "Hey Tony! Bring you something to eat!!" If that's not gay, I don't know what is. In another scene, Bill "Superfoot" Wallace is fighting Jun Chong, and after a few minutes of grab-assy martial arts fighting, they break apart, and the camera zooms to Wallace's face, who looks down towards Chong's groin region, smiles real big, and proceeds to fight some more. By the way, I'm in no way against the GLBT community, I just know that 80s movies are notorious for such scenes, and I love to point them out. Anyway, another great thing about this flick is the memorable characters. Young (Chong), even though he was like 45 when he made this film, somehow manages to play the part of a swaggering, yet troubled teen very well. It's kinda funny to note that his mother in this film looks younger than him!! Another character worth mentioning is Belly Shirt Guy, leader of the Spikes Gang. This man has to be seen to be believed... And let's not forget the leader of the Blade Gang (who looks a lot like Panama Jack)! I could go on and on about this movie, because there is so much about this movie that is wonderful. The only bad thing about this film is the lack of lighting, and it doesn't help any that most of the scenes take place at night. In the Wallace Vs. Chong scene, apparently Wallace is using a whip at one point, but if it weren't for the sound effects, you'd have no idea that he was using a whip. This film is truly amazing, a brilliant yet mostly unheard of film. I encourage everyone out there to check this movie out. It will change your life!!