Review of Azumi

Azumi (2003)
3/10
Utter crap ninja-on-samurai flick
28 December 2003
This movie lacks it all: a coherent storyline, believable acting, plausible special effects, originality, any sense of the human condition, etc. Essentially, the plot is an excuse to drop a bunch of pop-idol-y naifs from one manufactured "peril" to another.

Exploitive and gratuitous plot devices (the "heroes" having to slaughter their own friends to prove their dedication to the "mission"; attempted rapes whenever the plot slows down; crazed sadistic killers with no apparent explanation for their behavior other than raw villiany) should shock, but they ultimately provoke more boredom than outrage.

I would lighten up and focus on the "action" and "special effects", but the movie can't even satisfy on this level. The cheesy "digital blood" effects are completely unconvincing, as are the fighting scenes themselves. (Look, I can _almost_ accept Tatsuya Nakadai or Toshiro Mifune slicing their way through 50 opponents in 5 minutes, but some tiny little pop-singer with "Power Rangers"-style posing?) It's a shame that so much money was blown on _bad_ digital effects. I think the audience would be much more forgiving had they simply tried the tried and true analog effects. They certainly couldn't have looked any worse.

Don't get me wrong -- I wasn't expecting a Kurosawa epic here. But whatever happened to the quality "chambara" films of the 1960s? I'd recommend seeing anything directed by Hideo Gosha or Kihachi Okamoto, or hell, just something from the Zatoichi series -- before recommending this one. Even the "Lone Wolf" series is more entertaining, from a sheer popcorn-munching entertainment perspective.

Saving graces: Very pretty cinematography and exterior sets. The art direction deserves kudos, but everyone else deserves a slap.

If you want to see a recent chambara film that displays an iota of intelligence, characterization, intelligent camera work, as well as amazing swordfighting, I recommend "Gohatto" (a/k/a "Taboo").
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