Quotes

People are always introducing me as "Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne." I HATE that! I wish people would see me for who I really am -- I'm white!

[on the US-Iraq war of 2003] This is not the first time that Europe has been passive while a Jew-hating tyrant with a weird looking mustache killed the people by giving them gas. [pause] Obviously, I'm talking about Chef Boyardee.

I'd have to be honest: I have contempt for pretty much every drug other than pot. I find drunk people gross. Most people with more than one drink in them aren't giggly, goofy and happy the way people are with a puff of pot smoke in them. At a party, I have so much fun stoned, flitting about -- but once I sniff that first wave of drunkenness on someone, I'm out of there.

I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices. Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.

I've turned down things that, I just go "I'd rather do stand-up than say this shitty exposition for bad writing." It's just not fun, like "but you're a lawyer and he loves you!" Good writing doesn't need some Greek chorus in the form of a sassy friend.

I have very vivid dreams - almost always action-adventure. I'm often on the run. I've always had dreams. When I was little, I'd go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies.

I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends.

I was always the class clown; I made my family laugh, and that was when I was always happiest. I grew up listening to stand-up comedians' albums and watching them on TV, on The Tonight Show and Letterman.

I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.

Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.

I'm always writing; I'm always jotting things down on paper or making notes in my iPhone. Then I'll make myself sit down and kind of shape it up, but there's really no other way to practice other than onstage.

I like my messiness on stage, though I watch comics who come at a joke from every angle and I think, 'Yeah! That's how it's done!' But for me it's the audience. If I feel connected to them, I have so much fun, and if not, it stinks.

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.

[on performing blackface] I'm having minstrel cramps.