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- Kevin Arnold recalls growing up during the late 60s and early 70s; the turbulent social times make the transition from child to adult unusually interesting.
- After receiving a $5,000 tax-refund check, Ellen donates it to the Helping Hand charity foundation, much to Peter's delight. But when IRS wants it back saying it was a mistake, Ellen finds that Peter has already spent it to expand the charity fund. Meanwhile, Adam hires Paige to pose as various items for a new photography job he has, and Joe tries to make the coffee stand look more "American" due to his fears of being deported back to Canada dues to Ellen's problems with the IRS.
- Ed Billik, Buy The Book's new manager, arrives and he and Ellen don't hit it off especially when Ed hangs a deer head in his new office, offending Ellen the nature lover and vegetarian. When Ed decides to fire Joe to cut costs, Ellen resorts to stealing Ed's deer head for ransom to get Joe rehired. Meanwhile, Paige and Spence finally negotiate a date of going to a baseball game. But nothing goes as they plan it.
- Attempting to freshen up their dating lives, Ellen, Adam, and Holly answer personal dating ads in the newspaper. Holly meets a recently-divorced neurotic man; Adam tries honesty, then exaggeration; and Ellen meets Jackson, the man of her dreams. But Mr. Right is all wrong at kissing and Ellen cannot bring herself to tell him.
- Money problems cause Ellen to consider firing Audrey from Buy The Book, much to Joe's delight. But at Audrey's surprise birthday party at her house, her wealthy and equally obnoxious parents, Lily and Jack, want to give Ellen a $100,000 cashiers check in order to solve her money troubles at the bookstore and to keep on Audrey. But there are strings attached when Lily and Jack want to remodel Buy The Book to their own choosing.
- After Ellen throws a surprise birthday party for Adam, he becomes convinced that living with Ellen is limiting his potential in life. So, Adam gets a new job as the building manager of a retirement home and moves out of the apartment, leaving Ellen with limitless possibilities as to what to do with his vacant room.
- Ellen decides to go out more as part of her New Year's Resolution. However Ellen's plans for a solo grand dinner at a fancy restaurant doesn't go well as planed and she decides to take pottery lessons instead. Meanwhile, Paige's kitchen goes up in flames after Spence and Joe house sit for her while she's in Canada during a movie location shoot.
- Determined to revive a childhood dream that her annoying and nagging parents, Lois and Harold, quashed, Ellen begins taking ballet lessons, being taught by Peter, and sets her sights on dancing the lead in her class recital and seeks more help in her dance moves with Adam who also took ballet lessons when he was in college. But on the night of the recital, when the lead ballerina sprains her back showing Ellen a certain move, she is forced to take the ballerina's place. Meanwhile, Paige begins dating a man from a karate class that dresses differently out of his karate uniform.
- Ellen, Audrey, and Joe go out bowling with Ed where he gets angry after Ellen beats him at a game. So, Ed challenges Ellen to a game of pool at his house the next evening. After Ed beats Ellen at pool, she becomes the sore loser and they decide to put on the final test to who's the real winner with a final one-on-one bowling game. Meanwhile, Paige and Spence's plans to spend time alone together are constantly foiled as she's busy at her studio and he's busy with his new job as an E.R. doctor.
- Ellen invites Spence to celebrate Christmas with her obnoxious and unhinged parents. But Ellen's holiday spirits hit an all time low when Lois and Harold have to leave town to go on an ocean cruise. They present her with a Christmas gift to last forever: a cemetery burial plot. Spence, Paige, Joe and Audrey try to cheer up Ellen when she decides to visit her eternal resting place in a San Fernando cemetery on Christmas Eve. Elsehwere, Joe and Audrey deal with an eccentric temp worker, named Tad, whom they employ for the Christmas holiday.
- On Ellen's 35th birthday, she and the gang go to the rock 'n roll music camp in Hollywood where they get to jam in a band with David Crosby, Aaron Neville and Bonnie Raitt. But Ellen gets cold feet when she feels her singing can't compare with theirs.
- Paige and Ellen scheme to have Ellen infiltrate a focus group slated to evaluate a new TV show that Paige developed involving a tall and short cop, and Joe gets in on the act as well. In the meeting room, Ellen successfully convinces the rest of the people present to support the new show for it's first run. But everything changes when Paige meets with Ellen and asks her to support a new show that her boss wants too.
- Ellen and her book group are invited to appear on "Book Chat," a local TV program on book reading. But when the host, Erik Matthew Marshall, tells them that only three of them can appear out of the five, the members, redneck Will, eccentric Mrs. Rogers, dumb Karen, emerge Rajani, and unsure Kenny, offer Ellen gifts and visits to make up her mind when the choice narrows down to her. Meanwhile, Audrey takes over making coffee at the bookstore when Joe injures his wrist.
- Ellen helps Peter prepare a production of Romeo and Juliet done by deaf actors. Audrey, now single after breaking up with Mike, takes a liking to Brian, the actor who is playing Romeo. But as result of a misunderstanding of sign language, Ellen thinks Brian is making a pass at her. Meanwhile, Spence gets his signals mixed when Paige's former fiance, Matt, returns to the scene.
- Ellen goes on a scholastic trip to a museum with Adam and Paige to expand her cultural horizons where she meets an attractive English college professor. Desperate to win his affections, Ellen tries to impress him after he asks her out to a jazz concert and then to an opera. But when Ellen introduces him to the world of TV, his fixation on it makes their relationship boring. Meanwhile, Joe moves in the bookstore after having a fight with Stephanie.
- Ellen does not want to hurt Audrey, so she reluctantly goes out to lunch with her, Paige, and Audrey's friend, Jessica, a travel writer. Ellen wants to get closer to Jessica, without hurting Audrey. So she lies resorts to lying to go to a party for Jessica in order to avoid going out with Audrey. Meanwhile, Adam inherits some historical family letters with some hysterical implications. Also, Joe has to swear off coffee after a doctor's visit that has diagnosed him with a stomach ulcer.
- A "mockumentary" hosted by Linda Ellerbee as a tribute to the 75-year career of Ellen. It traces her start as a vaudevillian, ventriloquist and hostess of a 1950s game show called "Who's the Commie?" to spoofs of 'I Love Lucy', 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' and 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'. Also featured are interviews with celebrities Jennifer Aniston, Glenn Close, Woody Harrelson, Helen Hunt, Ted Danson, Phil Donahue, Tim Conway, and many others.
- A parody of the career of Ellen DeGeneres, celebrating her 75 years in show business.
- Ellen volunteers to take care of Paige's boyfriend's nine-year-old daughter, Mia, for the weekend while Paige and her policeman boyfriend, Matt, go camping. Ellen is proud of the way she communicates with her charge and even gets Spence, Joe and Audrey to help Mia build a science project for her school. But when the fourth grader asks Ellen about the topic of sex, Ellen's the one with the tongue tied.
- While attending a Hollywood social party with Paige, Ellen spots British actress Emma Thompson making out with another woman and afterward convinces Paige to hire her as Emma's personal assistant while she's in town to film a movie and to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award. Ellen then convinces Emma to "come out," to the public, against Paige's protest. But Emma soon reveals to Ellen that it's not the only sordid secret that she hides of her past. At the banquet, Sean Penn appears with a surprise revelation of his own.
- Laurie takes Ellen on a weekend getaway to San Diego where problems arise between them when Laurie's instinct to be organized clashes with Ellen's natural neurotic instinct for spontaneity leading to both of them wanting some space from each other.
- On Christmas time, Ellen and Paige plan a vacation to Mexico and leave Joe and Audrey to run Buy the Book for the holidays. When Ellen finds and takes in a stray dog, she decides to stay in town and care for the dog since no one else will and sends Joe in her place on the trip. But when Ellen's father, Harold, shows up at her apartment for a visit, he mistakenly thinks the dog is a gift for him and takes it home himself.
- Ellen attends her father Harold's annual Civil War re-enactment outing in which her father plays General Grant. Ellen wants to play a solder, which brings out hostility from the other men and the sadistic drill instructor, Sgt. Timko, who plans to give her a hard time. Things take a turn when Ellen suspects that Harold is having an affair with Betsy, a field re-enactment nurse who fixes more than just fake chest wounds.
- Ellen hires a gay plumber from a gay yellow-pages phone book which Peter gave her, to fix the plumbing of her house in preparation for a party for the gay social crowd. But the man leaves her with an even bigger leaky sink to remember him by, prompting her to ask her long-term family plumber Tony to come to her rescue while dealing with the party guests in the next room.
- Ellen is approached by Tom and Larry, two hippie businessmen who want to buy her bookstore. But Ellen refuses to sell no matter how high the price. When Ellen decides to put down her roots and buy a home of her own, she's unprepared for the price. With Spence posing as her lawyer, Ellen pays a visit to Tom and Larry's office and decides to give in to their offer, but with the condition that she stay on at the head employee.
- At Adam's advice, Ellen reluctantly becomes a contestant on the TV sports show "American Gladiators." Ellen becomes smitten with fellow gladiator Nitro whom Adam tries to bond with. But on the day of the competition, Ellen becomes fighting mad when her female combatant, Ice, ruins her budding romance with Nitro. Meanwhile, Audrey decides to sue Paige after they collide with each others cars, and Joe tries acting nice to the customers after getting a hate note from an unknown regular customer.
- The night before the wedding, Ellen and Audrey throw a bachelorette slumber party for a despondent Paige. They invite over a male stripper, a psychic, and Paige's neurotic, high-powered, boss Lorna Irons. But Ellen's plan backfires when the ladies accidentally get two strippers for the price of one. In addition the psychic Madam Debbie Johnson's predictions for Paige come true in unexpected and unusual ways, which leads the ladies to force to move their party from Ellen's apartment into her unhinged parents house. Meanwhile, Spence and Joe try to have a good time at Matt's bachelor party. It's at a local strip club where Spence tries talking himself out chugging beer by explaining to the crowd about the pros and cons of marriage.
- After her apartment is robbed, a paranoid Ellen goes on a safety spree by taking personal defense classes from a police detective, purchasing trigger alarms, and even having a life-size dummy for protection. But her obsession with security makes her a model of insecurity to Paige, while Audrey tries to persuade Ellen to have a gun around.
- While on a double date with Spence, Paige, and a dim-witted lesbian friend of Paige's, Ellen runs into her former boyfriend Dan, who's now the owner of the restaurant at which they're eating. Dan is taken aback by Ellen's personal revelation to him, but accepts it--but Ellen doesn't know what to think when she still feels attracted to him.
- Ellen's father, Harold, moves to his new bachelor pad, which is on the second floor of his house. When Ellen wants to spend quality time with him, they begin to quarrel over her interference with his life. When Harold injures his back and Ellen accidentally falls off a ladder injuring her neck, she must spend the rest of the evening caring for him, wearing a neck-brace, and dealing with a jealous Paige asking about Spence's whereabouts when he accepts a wedding invitation from an ex-girlfriend in Albuquerque, as well as an irate bookstore customer harassing Audrey. Meanwhile, Joe talks Spence into going with him instead into the New Mexico desert to hunt for aliens.
- Ellen and Peter go on a spiritual retreat where he tells her that he feels that she is not has happy as others think, which offends her to a rare point of anger. Meanwhile, Paige thinks Buy the Book is the target of a robbery and she happens to be correct when she, Spence, Joe, and Audrey are all tied up together in the office for the entire weekend by the robber.
- Adam gets a photography job for the Sun Times in London and decides to leave immediately. At Adam's going away party at the bookstore, he makes a personal revelation to Ellen that he really loves her, who must deal with the awkward circumstance when his trip is postponed.
- Ellen is thrilled when Paige invites her to an exclusive birthday party for John Travolta. But their fantasy evening turns into a nightmare thanks to Ellen inviting the whole gang along, and an overly sensitive limo driver who takes them to the wrong place. With the gang moping in a diner about their disastrous evening, Audrey receives a boost when she meets the man of her dreams, "Welcome Back Kotter" TV's star himself Ron Palillo.
- While shopping with Ellen at a local hardware store, Spence gets a whiff of an experimental bug spray which sends him into a dream world where homosexuality is the dominant sexuality and heterosexuality is the oppressed minority. Ellen and Peter then discover Spence to be a closeted "straight" man in a mostly-gay world where Joe is attempting to win his affections, and Paige is a "butch" type involved with Audrey.
- Ellen meets Laurie Manning, her openly-lesbian mortgage broker, and asks her out for coffee. But Ellen later gets confused on where she stands when Laurie brings along a woman friend of hers during an outing to the movies. Meanwhile, Joe opens his new coffee shop, Cup Of Joe, which he tells Ellen that he had told his uncle that he would name after him.
- On Thanksgiving, Ellen volunteers with Ed at a soup kitchen in feeding the homeless and becomes acquainted with a soup kitchen worker named Perry. Ellen then invites Perry over at her apartment for Thanksgiving, only to find out that he is homeless too which puts a damper on the dinner. Also at the party, Spence's mother warily meets Paige for the first time, and Peter misses Barrett after he leaves town to visit his family.
- After Ellen steals a 65-year-old lobster from a seafood restaurant to prevent it from being eaten, she is hailed as a hero and is bestowed with an honor by actress and fellow animal activist Mary Tyler Moore. Ellen also tries to send the lobster out to sea, but it has other ideas.
- Ellen begins seeing a new therapist to cope with the breakup of her parents. Claire, the therapist, tells Ellen that she needs to be more honest with people no matter if it will hurt them or not. But during a evening out for Ellen celebrating her mortgage approval, Ellen is shocked to find her therapist in a compromising situation in a parking lot.
- After donating some blood to a blood bank, Ellen goes out with Spence to a wine tasting party where she gets tipsy from consuming too much wine and her outrageous behavior costs Spence the promotion he has been seeking when she offends his superior, the hospital chief-of-staff. But when Ellen returns the next day to apologize to the doctor at the hospital, he takes thinks the wrong way and makes a pass at her. Meanwhile, Joe writes jokes for Audrey's comedian boyfriend Mike. But Joe's Canadian humor falls flat with the American audience. So, Joe takes Mike to his hometown of Moosejaw where Paige is so Mike can tell his jokes there.
- When Ellen's bookstore is robbed, she offers to help the police with a sting to catch the "perp" in the act who is selling fake home security systems to the stores robbed. But problems come up with Paige falling for the detective as well as having Ellen carry a hidden microphone while waiting for the robber to show up.
- Ellen tries to find out if Ed has a thing against homosexuals after he forces her and Audrey to take down a feminist display at the bookstore. Ellen's suspicions about Ed being a homophobe eventually prove correct when he tells her that he doesn't want her around his daughters that she is babysitting. Ellen then quits, saying that she doesn't want to work for someone who is prejudiced against homosexuals. Meanwhile, she finally moves into her new house and tries to reconcile with Paige, who's still shaken by Ellen's "coming out" revelation. Also, Spence asks to stay with Ellen at her new house while he looks for his own place.
- Ellen refuses to admit that she has a problem dealing with her wisecracking wit that gets her into conflicts. But after she finally expresses her anger to an elderly and rude lady living in her building, Ellen fears that her outburst has caused her sudden death. Meanwhile, Ellen hires a new daytime manager for 'Buy the Book', named Lloyd, and he immediately quarrels with Joe over tearing down the coffee shop to make more room for the bookstore.
- Ellen gets off on the wrong foot with her new neighbors, a immigrant couple from India, named the Patels, when a variety of circumstances conspire to make Ellen look like a fool in front of them which includes Ellen and Paige trying to fix Ellen's leaky roof with a Twister mat, and Ellen struggling with Joe's inflatable doll. But the final humiliation comes when Ellen gets stuck outside her house dressed in a chicken costume before she goes out for the evening with Paige for Joe's birthday party.
- Ellen's mother, Lois, joins a video dating service and goes out on a blind date with a man named Vic. But a wary and insecure Ellen tries joining the dating service too to find out more about Vic, which leads to Ellen following her mother and Vic to a country western dance club with the gang where Spence dances the night away with a local cowgirl and Joe becomes reacquainted with his old flame, Trisha Yearwood.
- After a week of carpooling with Audrey, Ellen tries to get Audrey to buy a car for herself at a new dealership. But the new Rapture comes with an extended warranty and an extended family of fanatics that Audrey begins hanging out with much to Ellen's wariness. Meanwhile, Paige seeks advice on how to appease her new boyfriend's young daughter.
- Ellen Morgan is a wisecracking, insecure, single 32-year-old woman who lives in Los Angeles and works at a bookstore called "Buy the Book." She deals with a crisis when she tries to get her awful driver's-license photograph changed. One of her friends, Holly, is dating a new guy, Roger, and Ellen fears that he will dump Holly after she sleeps with him. Rounding out the friends are Ellen's sloppy, sarcastic roommate Adam Green and his smart-mouthed one-time girlfriend Anita.
- Ellen tries to speed up her parents divorce by showing them her example of free time in hanging out at a sports bar with Harold, and takes Lois to self-defense classes. But when Lois and Harold begin to have second thoughts after getting stuck in a traffic jam on their way to their lawyer's office, Ellen tries to reason with them, but she inadvertently brings them back together.
- While shopping with Paige at a local supermarket, Ellen meets two neighborhood women who want to introduce her to their friend who is looking for a roommate. With Spence finally moving out of her house into a place of his own, Ellen agrees to meet with the woman. But due to Audrey and Barrett's interpretation of what "roommate" means, Ellen mistakenly thinks this is a person she is being set up with. Later that evening, Paige, still haven't fully accepted Ellen's new lifestyle, becomes uncomfortable and jealous when the woman, Sherry, arrives and hits it off with Ellen.
- After crashing a show-biz party with Adam and Paige, Ellen learns that the whole event was for charity. So, she tries to make amends by going on a volunteering binge by packing care packages. But her obsession with doing good just makes her feel bad. Meanwhile, Adam becomes hooked on watching a new huge TV set Ellen won during the charity party.
- Inspired by domestic diva Martha Stewart during a book signing, Ellen throws an elegant dinner party at her apartment and invites everyone over (except Audrey whom she leaves to close up the bookstore). The attendees include Spence and his new actress girlfriend, Denise (who's stuck wearing Sci-Fi alien makeup), and Paige with her gay assistant, Barrett, who has a meeting of minds with Peter. But Ellen's the one who's thrown for a spin when Joe arrives with Martha Stewart herself, and the dinner Ellen tries to cook turns out bad.