Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019)
Embarrassingly bad. Forget that Drogon's mom gets killed... forget that he chooses NOT to kill the person who killed his mom... Drogon now cares about the politics of Westeros... and torches the iron throne? Why?
D&D weren't even trying anymore.
Game of Thrones: The Bells (2019)
Bait and Switch
7+ years of a story with a strong well drawn woman who had ruthless tendencies. But when her dragon allegedly killed a child she locked them up. She did everything to spare innocents than she could and lost so many people along the way.
Then, in two episodes... she is CRAAZZZYYYYY.
Now that the writers have what they want, our ratings... they just don't care. I hope HBO that the CRAZZZYYYYY fans won't have time to watch their spin offs. HBO cancelled this morning. Hope that "Barry" gets you an audience
The Darkest Minds (2018)
It really isn't that bad.
It suffers from being "YA" material. And when you are a young adult you may not see all the problems in this story. It takes place in a (stop me if you have heard this) dystopian future where a virus has killed most of the children and turned the child survivors into mutants. The mutants are given different classifications: green smart, gold telekinetic, orange dangerous, and red super dangerous. We get to know this world via Ruby an orange. When Ruby is 10 she accidentally erases her parents memories of her and is shipped off to a camp. At the camp it is discovered she is an orange and they attempt to kill her but she wipes the doctor's memory and goes about hiding as a green. Ruby escapes with help and meets up with a group of young kids like herself all trying to find a place where others like them have gone. Of course Ruby finds a love interest and good friends and learns this "oasis" isn't quite what it seems. It is set up very clearly to have a sequel and that sort of ruins the ending. This would have been really bad without Amandla Stenberg and the acting. But overall it kept my interest.
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
All I heard was how great this was... and romantic
But the actual reality is that it is a propaganda piece. It clearly was meant to make Americans think that asians / china is where it is at. That even though China is a communist country somehow we are to think that the people there are crazy rich. And, you can be too. Now I know there are really some super rich in Asia..they keep buying real estate in the USA...that is far from what it is like in most of Asia. The story concerns an American asian who is apparently in love with the son of a super rich family (who of course slums in in NYC). But that being said, there is nothing about this couple who makes me think they are in love. They are just together and, somehow, this woman has never googled her boyfriend. Romantic? Hardly. Of course she goes to Singapore and sees the massive riches of this family but mom doesn't like her. Why? No real reason. I ended up turning it off. People talk about Asian culture and perhaps this is how it really is... but I don't believe it and I don't want to see it. There is nothing redeeming about this movie. NOTHING. If mom doesn't like you, who really cares. You will be living in the USA. But I didn't want to root for the girl anyway as I didn't believe almost anything about the couple. Overall, it just was a way to drum up tourism and make "asian" culture seem like an opulent one you want to be part of.
Carrie Pilby (2016)
Didn't love it.
I enjoyed the idea of an intelligent and prickly woman making her way in life alone. It seemed like a good idea but I didn't love the execution.
First, this had been sold to me as a "romance" err, no. If you're looking for that, skip this one. Second Carrie is sold as a smart woman but she doesn't act like one. She is Harvard trained but accepts a job proofing legal briefs and basically doing foolish things. The movie wants to have the same extroverted message that they all do, namely that you can't survive without love and others. Ok sure, then make that case. But like all of these movies... the magical insanely handsome guy shows up and is into her, for no apparent reason. The movie just assumes happiness when, prior to, Carrie had suffered after having a good looking guy show her attention.
The Perfect Date (2019)
Ok if you're not seeking innovation.
I enjoyed this one but what holds it back is any sort of non paint by the numbers story. Noah Centineo plays "Brooks Rattigan" (come on guys come up with a real name) a good poor kid who has set his sites on Yale and the good life. While doing this he comes up with the idea for an app to be like a task rabbit for dating. (actually good idea). However, he soon finds that he is losing himself to pretending to be whomever for the app and some of his real life friends are getting tried of being stood up and ignored. My only thought on this was it didn't seem that Brooks was doing anything wrong per se. The script sort of had to twist itself around to have the "dark moment" and his friends came off a little selfish not to let him have this new thing in his life. Of course, he does learn that yearning after the good life and Yale has its drawbacks and isn't all it seems to be. There is a romance with Laura Marano "Celia" but it was definitely very BFF. I didn't get any sort of romantic vibe.
Every Day (2018)
I will give them credit
For an interesting idea. And I think they pulled it off well. It seemed like a bizarre movie that couldn't be done too well but it was. This movie concerns a "spirit" who calls itself "A". It moves into different bodies every day for one day and then moves on. Typically in the same general geographic area. One day it jumps into the body of Rhiannon's (Angourie Rice) boyfriend. They have an amazing day together and "A" keeps getting his bodies to meet up with Rhiannon. Eventually he chooses to tell her and they have the bodies keep meeting up with Rhannon. The issue is... in theory they are supposed to fall in love. To do this you need a strong actress and Angourie Rice didn't pull it off for me. In the end "A" realizes it cannot continue this. They have no future with him hopping around in different bodies. This should have been heartbreaking for Rhiannon but I never got that. The actor that A was in that day sold it but the movie fell a bit flat because I never got the anguish that I felt was necessary.
Good Dick (2008)
The most bizarre movie I have seen in a while.
But in a good way. 30 minutes in I didn't know what was going on. 60 minutes in I didn't know what was going on, but was interested in seeing what happened. At the end of the movie I still don't know what happened but I had a smile on my face. As mentioned a video store clerk who is also a recovering addict become intrigued with a woman that keeps coming into his store. What makes her interesting is that she barely talks (everyone jokes at the store - she is mute) and gets "erotica" movies every day. (and yes they are for what you might think) The clerk decides to find out more about her and eventually worms his way into her apartment and her bed. But there is no sex or intimate behavior. Most of their conversation is insults and weird contests. She doesn't leave the apartment and sleeps all day. Finally the guy asks her if she has been abused or raped and she says no (with a bunch of insults) but after an attempt at sex she has a melt down and orders him out. Eventually we get a scene that I guess explains things a little but didn't really make it clear to me. All is well at the end. I think this movie could have been difficult without Jason Ritter. He has such a breezy kind nature on screen you can buy that this deeply damaged woman would give him a shot in her own way. You also felt from the start he was a good guy who wasn't trying to hurt her.
Swept from the Sea (1997)
On some level I think I have never watched this because I knew I wouldn't like it. The story is pretty simple. A Russian (I guess ukrainian) immigrant is the only survivor of a wreck off the coast of England. When he arrives he isn't speaking their language and is a dirty mess with odd hair. Everyone is afraid of him and doesn't put together that he came from the shipwreck. The only one who is kind to him is Amy. Amy Foster is the local servant to a more rich family and is a bit of an odd ball. Stunningly beautiful but odd.. the immigrant can't forget her even after he is taken away to basically be a slave for a while. Things begin to be rectified after the local doctor sees him and realizes who he is and why he is in town. At this point he pursues Amy. But... for me there were problems. Amy does seem to be a daft simpleton. And the immigrant is just too weird himself or Vincent Perez was overacting. The entire town hates them and I kind of do as well. The plot is slow and takes forever. This appears to be one of those epic romances but it just isn't.
Thankfully I didn't pay for this and saw it on amazon prime. The script was poor. Everything was strained. From the start the guy starts acting strangely so they have have "wacky" scenes. The acting was bad - like robots stating dialog. The execution is bad, when they finally kiss it is out of no place for no apparent reason. And my god, can we really call it a European vacation if you are just in Turkey the whole time?
Manhattan Undying (2016)
This entire movie would seem to have the raw elements to have an interesting movie... but the problem is, they only have about 40 minutes of script. Luke Grimes portrays a hedonistic artist living in Manhattan. (think Issac from Heroes) He is the next big thing and acts like it, sleeping with women, doing drugs, drinking and staying out all night. However, he ends up diagnosed with fatal lung cancer. Instead of getting treatment he decides just to be even more hedonistic. All of this should have taken about 10 minutes, but instead takes about 30 to unfold. While this is happening men are being killed by a massive blood letting all over Manhattan and the police are on the case. Finally Max decides that his hedonistic lifestyle isn't getting anyplace and tells his agent to get him work. This includes a model. This is when a strange model shows up seemingly out of no place and dun dun dun... is a vampire. She wants to be painted because she doesn't know what she looks like (given that mirrors don't show her). I have no idea how she found him.
Ok, now we are getting someplace but there is a time stalling problem. You have to open yourself up to the artist or he can't paint you. He needs inspiration. And of course, a vampire has trouble opening themselves up. This "struggle" goes on for about 30 minutes. Sarah Romer is just horrible and stiff as the vampire (can't tell if it was direction) as if she was told that to have an other worldly quality she had to be stiff. There is never any sun in this movie. Everything is dark and blue. Finally, the ending seemed to make zero sense to me and just seems like they had no ending.
Teenage Dirtbag (2009)
Excellent Film - crackling chemistry.
This movie stands for the proposition that you can have an entire relationship with someone and not touch them or do anything together. All you need to do is interact. Thayer is the proverbial boy from the wrong side of the tracks that has semi known Amber for a long time as they are in alphabetical order in school. A stray remark Amber makes at the end of the prior year sets Thayer's sights on her for senior year and this movie is basically the story of the little interactions that they have for the entire year where they form a strong but unfortunately unspoken love. The actual film is very amateurish. Looking like an ABC afternoon special but the thing that sells this for me is the acting. Scott Michael Foster is amazing as always and sells the simmering absolute desperation of his character. Noa Hegish as Amber is also solid and sells her character's love and regret. The writer and director says this wasn't based on anyone in particular but I don't believe her. It almost feels like this movie itself is an adaptation of a journal. The movie is done via flashback from Amber's view after high school is over so you know the outcome from the start but I still was captivated even knowing the result.
Before I Fall (2017)
I should have trusted my gut
I have seen so many good time loop movies that when I honestly couldn't make it through the first day of the time loop, I knew I might be in trouble. Everything about this movie was lame. And then, and then, there is that ending. Samantha Kingston is the main character who can best be described as the mean girl with a heart. Her life at the start of the movie is horrible. She hangs out with the mean girls and is about to "do it" with her boyfriend who could care less about her. If I dislike the main character we are in trouble. After a relatively tame run in with the "weird girl" her day starts repeating. And even though, in this world, she has never seen a time loop movie... she comes to believe that she needs to do the day "right".
But none of that makes any sense. Nothing about that does anything, at all, to change things but she continues to persist. So I will say that this movie does have a different ending than most time loop movies but it is a horrible ending. The kind of ending that you wonder why you even watched in the first place. Seriously skip it.
The Escort (2016)
Much better than I thought it would be from the reviews.
In a world where relationships between people have gotten so crazy that it is considered normal for a guy (or women) to randomly sleep with strangers based off an app, perhaps the idea of prostitution can be looked at more normally. The writers did a good thing here and fleshed out the motivations of the characters. From the summary you know a journalist wants to follow around a high class escort for a story. But why would she agree? They find a reasonable reason. Then you want to know why she would be an escort, well they find a reasonable, dare I say modern. reason for that. They two main characters have tons of chemistry and that made it worth a watch. My only quibble is that the amount of chemistry merited more scenes with them prior to falling for each other. But definitely worth watching.
Say You Will (2017)
You go to the movies to have a little bit of a break from the real world. But in this endlessly depressing piece, I felt if I had actually hung out with these people. And, this is not a good thing.
Sam is the main character. When we meet him he is a few years out from the suicide of his father. It is his final days of high school leading into the summer before college. Due to a car accident he has no license and must get a job for the summer. It is through that he gets more friendly with his high school crush, Ellie. Ellie comes on super strong as soon as he starts working with her but unfortunately she is another one of those modern women stereotypes. She is hanging out with a bad bf that treats her bad and is pregnant and having an abortion. She could have been presented as someone to care about, but as usual for this kind character, when presented with a good guy (Sam) she starts treating him bad for no apparent reason.
As another side plot Sam finds some old photos of an old boyfriend of his mom and tries to set them up together. This does end horribly as mom is upset at the interference.
Everyone does a fine job and the script isn't bad it just isn't something other than a faithful telling of real life, endlessly depressing real life.
Doctor Thorne (2016)
Well it looked good
This was a masterful production in terms of look - agree they seemed to use CGI in someplace but for me the largest problem was it was a 4 episode mini series that should have been a two hour movie. Beyond that, the end, and frankly the plot, were utterly predictable. All around there was lot of very bad acting, I am looking at you Ian McShane. It looked to be a romantic epic but I felt very little between the two main characters. They did appear to be foolish and cruel. Kept fast forwarding and finally gave up.
The Inheritance (1997)
Mary Sue Alert
This movie opens with the main character riding a horse around like an expert. But it doesn't stop there. There is nothing that the main character Edith can't do. She is loved by all, ALL. The family that she works for, the "staff", and she has two rich suitors (and one poor one). She plays the piano. When she is invited to the ball she outshines everyone. The only thing she suffers from is not being a member of the elite - she is only a paid companion. But even that is fixed by the end of the movie. Ida Glenshaw comes to visit with the family for a chance at two rich suitors and finds the entire family and her two suitors besotted by Edith. Well I might be angry too. Ida is rich and more beautiful than Edith but everyone treats her like the paid companion. But, even so, there is no reason for her motivation to be out to get Edith. There are two rich suitors. The main love interest is Thomas Gibson who is appropriately dreamy. But there is no reason for him to fall for Edith early on, he just looks at her and is in love. Big disappointment.
Love Simple (2009)
Independent film, but not a bad thing.
No one on this move will be winning an academy award soon but it was not the worst thing I have ever seen. The acting was just good enough to make me watch. Adam is a 32, but tells everyone 28, year old man living at home. He is the primary caretaker for his very sick dad. His mother has previously died. The home they live in is... terrible and filled with old dolls due to that being the hobby of the mother. Anytime he brings anyone over to see this, they freak out and run. Zita, on the other had has been living on her own for years. Zita has lupus and the trouble of caring for her has drifted many men and family away. Both have every reason to lie to the other, which they do, all during their courtship. But when it all come out... it is pretty painful. I enjoyed that once found out they both had to seriously think about if they wanted to continue with the other. But eventually realized how foolish it would be not to.
On - drakon (2015)
This was amazing.
Sad that I guess I have to go to Russia to find a film that is excellent and inspires. This movie was epic. The cinematography was outstanding. The lead actors themselves were very handsome / pretty and it is only now that I see how much American films try to downplay beauty in their films. This movie does everything possible to make everything be as beautiful as possible. Finally for all American movies bluster about *strong* women, the lead woman character here is courageous and inspiring. And to top it off there is no swearing and nothing but a peck on the cheek. The plot is strong as well. Apparently, in this little village, for years, young women were sacrificed to a dragon - presumably so he would leave the village alone. But one day a villager killed the dragon and the villagers came to believe they were free. Years later, at the marriage ceremony of the main character the groom has everyone sing the song they used to summon the dragon with (as a tribute), only, the dragon appears and takes the main character away. From there she must learn to survive and get back to her village. I was enthralled the entire time and I highly recommend it.
Take Care (2014)
Every single girl's greatest fear come true. Frannie is hurt in a car accident such that she has one leg broken and the opposite arm broken. Thus she has a very hard time taking care of herself. Sure she has a physical therapist coming by and a few helpers but she needs someone there 18-6. Who you going to call? Your ex. The description sounds odd. It is one reason I didn't watch it earlier. But there is a more detailed and reasonable explanation as to why she would choose her ex as opposed to say a nursing organization paid by her insurance. Devon, her ex, happens to have nothing to do. He just sold his company for nice profit and he can be available. He does, however, have a jealous girlfriend.
As would really happen, the two grow closer and Devon realizes a few things about why they broke up in the first place. Basically it was things going on with him and the process of helping her helps him to grow and learn a few things about himself that allows them to move forward. It can be slow in spots but overall entertaining.
After Life (2019)
Haven't finished the entire series but what I saw in episodes 1-4 was fabulous. Moments of sadness interspersed with laughter and a man walking around saying exactly what we all want to when we suffer a loss. Wonderful supporting cast including my favorite character, the dog. The main character would be dead already if that dog didn't pipe up every time he looked like he was going south. Totally on point.
Plan Coeur (2018)
Very French but otherwise good.
Very much of a sex in the city vibe off this one. Elsa has just broken up with the "love" of her life who is marrying the woman he cheated on her with. Her friends desperate to keep Elsa from feeling too bad decide to get her a male escort for two dates without her knowing it. The thought, she has a little whirl wind affair to get her confidence up. Except the escort decides to start working for free. This show worked for a few reasons. Elsa's friends have lives and messed up lives one their own so it isn't just Elsa's plot and the escort is fleshed out as a full being who chose the work due to growing up poor and needing to provide at an early age. When the escort starts turning toward Elsa you can see how much he wants to drop the job completely. Of course when it is found out it is appropriately devastating. As people have mentioned french life and culture can seem very different to American culture and Elsa is not the most wonderful lead to an American audience. But this was a fast and enjoyable series that makes me wish I was in France.
The Good Cop (2018)
Old School Adorable
This does remind me of a series from the 1990s but that is a good thing. Josh Groban is fantastic as a straight owl but still a good and interesting lead character. For me, the only issue was Tony Danza. I enjoy him very much but, the show needed about 50% less of him. Sometimes they hire a big name and use them too much. I ended up fast forwarding though most of his scenes.
The Order (2019)
I was considering getting Netflix Stock
But recently all their stuff has been crap. This looked pretty good. Clandestine magical order embedded within a prestigious university. The hero, out to avenge his mother, gets involved and finds his no good father who doesn't even know who he is? But the execution was lack luster. The main character Jack is poorly acted and not that attractive. Seriously he has this greasy hair thing going on that isn't "cool" greasy hair, but just disgusting. He is supposed to be the "one" but I can't find anything abut him that would merit that. Everyone else has to become less smart to make Jack the one. Finally at one point they start mashing up the genres to give Jack even more stuff going on, but, it doesn't work. Just too much going on for a character that isn't special. Finally it is boring. By the middle of the first episode I was getting antsy and only managed to make it to 3 episodes before bailing. Netflix needs to slow down and produce more high quality work.
Captain Marvel (2019)
All super hero movies are a bit boring as the character has to be established but this thing was a snooze fest for about the first half. At the end of the day I just don't care about this character at all. If this is what they are going to use for the Marvel next generation I think the MCU is dead.