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Reviews
Silent Night (2021)
Honestly, one of the worst films I've watched til the end
The film basically forces you to watch people wait to die - which actually I'm not opposed to but not one of these characters had anything interesting to say - instead they are all insufferable and are never redeemed or fleshed out in any way.
The film is shot and treated in a way that makes it look and feel completely uninteresting.
See No Evil 2 (2014)
Much better than the first
I unashamedly love this film - it's just a really fun slasher - has a very halloweeny vibe - It's been on my Halloween watch list since it's release - I love the characters, the kills are creative, the killer is scary
It doesn't really try to reinvent the wheel and I love it for just sticking to the genre - something slasher movies are afraid to do these days
The Last Laugh (2020)
Like a student film made by a student who missed a lot of lectures
This film has no redeeming elements... firstly the sound mix is atrocious - two people will be having a conversation and each persons dialogue will sound like it was recorded at different times and edited together - it really strange, some scenes have a hiss noise under them and others don't and it jumps between this throughout the film.
I love slasher films, i have pretty seen them all and will watch anything if its a slasher, but the acting in this film seemed like most of the people were doing the director a favour by saying the dialogue. it was not acting. it was merely speaking - with exception to the girl playing Bethany who seemed like shed attended a few classes.
The death scenes are filmed in a really pretentious way - as if the director was trying to be clever and artsy but they are mostly incredibly boring.
The story arc of the main character and his dead girlfriend backstory ...i mean enough said ....but ill add that it was in no way fleshed out and became tedious real quick, potentially due to the lead actor's performance, costuming and the camera angles chosen by the director.
Really this film could be shown to film students as a lesson in how not to make a horror film.
Also, the ending SUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKED
I haven't hated a film this hard in a really long time
Black Water: Abyss (2020)
Commits the cardinal sin of a horror movie. It's BORING
I'm struggling to find a good thing to say about this film - the characters are super annoying and none of them seem capable of acting scared which removes any speck of tension before it has a chance to form. its filmed really cheaply and essentially just shows the core cast gets to the cave - get trapped there and proceed to shine their torches at the water for long periods looking for the croc. it felt like the same thing over and over - the filmmakers completely fail to convey the sense of the dread of the water rising. its actually baffling how badly this film sucks.
The film's tone completely shifts from "serious monster / people in peril" to syfy sharknado style for the last five minutes.
I just watched Deep Blue Sea 3 and this film made that seem like JAWS
Dare Me (2019)
Incredible
Incredible slow burn drama - an atmospheric and Stylish exploration of the female psyche
Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector (2020)
Could be called anything
This is not in any way the world Jeffery Deaver built - Amelia is well played but her character and history is completely rewritten
Everyone else is cookie cutter network television cop show character
Filming feels incredibly cheap
The whole thing just feels off
The Furies (2019)
a real slog to get through
This film had potential, however the day to night style filter was distracting throughout, despite having *some* decent actors none of the characters have enough personality for you to care
the killers lack even more personality - none of the masks are memorable in any way.
mostly...i was bored. like super bored
The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
Soulless to the core
*hums quietly ... the insy winsy spider went up the wat- (ffs)
Nothing about this film is of the world of Lisbeth sanalder and mikael blomkvist - the story is awful to the point that it's insulting - the score dull - none the characters have any semblance of character - the whole film is so completely surface - I just finished watching it and I'm so angry that this is what song have reduced this series to
The Girl on the Train (2016)
Such a missed opportunity for greatness
There a a few factors to why this film is basically just a lifetime movie
The cast while all separately great just don't gel together - had they stuck to the setting of the book most of the actors could have done their own accents - the New York setting doesn't suit the story.
The main factor though is the direction - the whole thing is completely flat - zero style - the composition is so completely bland - Emily Blunt is basically carrying this film with her performance
Had this been directed by Fincher it would have soared.
Also Rebecca Ferguson's wig was sooo distracting!
Halloween II (2009)
The perfect example of amateur hour filmmaking
Ive seen this film, both versions a couple of times and it is so badly made - the narrative, the direction, the framing of shots all horrid - basic conversations are filmed so closely to characters faces - there is zero world built up outside of the filmmakers redneck exterior - the fact that he can't see past his own vulgar existence is only hammered home by the fact that his wife (who is a dire actor) is is all of his films.
Any scene involving her in this film is completely unnecessary - thinly veiled symbolism for the most pedestrian of plot lines - this film is a trash fire.