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17 Again (2009)
Worth A Look
18 January 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I watched this last night, not really expecting very much, but I like Matthew Perry and the whole 'swapping bodies/age' concept so thought it would be OK.

It's certainly not the best of the bunch - I think that award will always belong to Big for me personally, but it's a lot better than I thought it would be and I was surprised at how good Zac Effron was too. I've never really paid him much attention before, being in my late 20's I'm not really in the target audience for his previous offerings! He's a surprisingly good actor and what I was particularly impressed by was how he nailed Matthew Perry's mannerisms and speech style and fed them into his portrayal of 'Young Mike'. Very Clever.

Matthew Perry was actually slightly miscast in this I thought, but unfortunately, I think the ghost of Chandler Bing will follow him throughout his career and he may seem out of place no matter what he does.

The storyline has a few whopping holes in it - I spent half the movie trying to work out how Scarlett supposedly fell pregnant in '89, yet 20 years later her child was still in High School? Never mind though, it was a perfectly reasonable piece of fluff to while away a couple of hours and sometimes you don't need to look any deeper than that!
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Below Par Adaptation
26 January 2009
The 'Georgia' diaries became a huge cult hit amongst adults - I read Angus, Thongs... when I was 24 and just laughed out loud all the way through - it reminded me so much of my school days and all the things that seem soooo hugely important to a 14 year old girl. They really are hilarious books.

Unfortunately, this is another case of 'nowhere near as good as the book'. Badly miscast (especially Georgia) with young actors I found it really difficult to warm to, the acting was pretty lousy too. I was so disappointed with this film - but I've given it a generous 6 as I feel watching it firsthand, without reading the book first, it may come across better to it's target audience.
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Boy A (2007)
Made me cry like no other film
27 November 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I watched this last night on Channel 4 and I honestly cannot believe just how much it has challenged my opinions on this highly emotive subject. I cried very hard for about 20 minutes after the end credits and I still cannot stop thinking about it. I almost wished I hadn't watched it as it has just challenged my way of thinking so much - although I suppose that is what films are supposed to do.

The story revolves around Jack - formerly known as Eric - a child murderer released at the age of 24 after serving 14 years in prison for a crime he committed with his accomplice Philip at the age of 10. It follows his re-entry into the world, making friends and finding his way.

Suffice to say Eric and Philip were two very neglected souls. Philip, we discover through a series of flashbacks, is suffering very severe sexual abuse at the hands of his older brother (and I just have to say that Taylor Doherty who played him is hopefully set for a very bright future - what an understated and convincing performance). Eric is neglected by his family, friendless, bullied and he clings onto his only friend in Philip - which I believe is probably why he goes along with the crime - for fear of letting down his one and only companion in the world.

This has reinforced my opinion that children, including child murderers, are not born evil - they are shaped by their surroundings and their upbringing. It has changed my opinion of how they should be handled - they SHOULD be given a second chance. Jack was a lost soul who had played a part in the most heinous crime but he was desperately trying to turn his life around. It is hammered home that he is not evil when he saves the little girl from the car accident. He is living a haunted half life - 24 with the naivety of someone half his age. I so wanted him to build up a good life which I think was why the ending upset me so much. The whole film leads up to it and Andrew Garfield's superb performance just haunted me afterwards.

To be honest - I don't think I will watch this film again as I just find it too upsetting - and that really is not like me (although I am pregnant and a bit hormonal at the moment) - but I think there are some future stars in this film, namely Andrew Garfield who played Jack and Taylor Doherty who played young Philip Craig.

You really should watch this film
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Like being at an 1800's freak show
14 November 2007
This programme is the equivalent of the old freak shows where people used to laugh at the more unfortunate within society.

Now, not a lot of guests on TJKS are 'unfortunate'. In fact, it's plain to see their problems are mostly entirely self-inflicted. What really gets my back up though is Mr Smug himself - oh yes - put your hands together (by pain of death) for Jeremy Kyle. The most sanctimonious piece of s**t ever to grace a television screen. This man has seen and done it all and he never fails to get in the face of some poor b*st*rd who has come on either for his 15 minutes of fame or maybe a bit of help from Kyle's counsellors.

I think someone would have to be seriously damaged to air their problems on a show like this - and this programme manipulates that vulnerability to the max.

The one thing that particularly disturbs me is some of the warring young couples who come on the show to fight over paternity of their 'bay-bey'. What the hell do these poor babies have going for them with dead-heads like these as parents. Some of them look like they couldn't find their bum with both hands, let alone raise a child.

This show is a sad indictment of everything Britain has become.
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Shameless (2004–2013)
Has gone off the boil
9 November 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This programme was 100% TV Gold when it first began. Series 1 & 2 were fabulous. It had it all - fabulous comedy, heartwarming family dynamics, strong characters - the works.

Unfortunately, that is where it should have ended. Shameless lost two of it's most integral characters during series 2 (Steve and Fiona) and I don't think it ever really recovered. I think it might just have coped without James McAvoy, but without Anne-Marie Duff it lost a lot of the much needed warmth and became a show purely about a slightly chavvy family living on a rough estate in Manchester.

It limped along through a third series which was just about OK thanks to excellent comedic performances from David Threlfall (Frank), Maxine Peake (Veronica) and Dean Lennox Kelly (Kev). However, it was a dying duck and the absolute final nail in the coffin for me was the return of the awful Monica into the family fold during series 4.

It was shortly after this that I switched off.

Shameless was truly excellent to begin with - I don't know anyone who didn't love it. But it's had its day now and I wish the producer had been brave enough to pull the plug after series 3 at the absolute most so it could have been remembered as a great show. At this rate it's going to end up another 'Bad Girls' - a quality show to begin with that descended into really, really crap pantomime because the production company was too greedy (or short of new ideas) to:

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Surprisingly OK
6 November 2007
I actually thought this film wasn't bad. It wasn't a masterpiece, but then again I don't think it ever had aspirations to be.

J-Lo does a good job to pull off her role nicely - although in the beginning I couldn't help but think 'Oh look - it's Jennifer Lopez, prime diva, pretending to be poor'.

Even more amazingly is that Mr Pretentious - step forward Ralph 'it's pronounced Rafe' Fiennes - does a good job in making his role believable.

With a good supporting cast this film trundles along nicely. It's never going to change your life but not bad for whiling away a boring afternoon if you've nothing better to do.
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Reinforces my already low opinion of this Vile Woman
10 August 2007
Are there no depths to which this stain on society is prepared to sink? Jodie Marsh is absolutely disgusting. She has the morals of an alley cat and being so utterly desperate that she is prepared to marry ANYONE doesn't even make me pity her - I just think she is a complete loser. She's doing a very good job of making herself look a complete fool on this show.

Does she honestly think that marriage is just about a big white wedding with trapeze artists and a Black and White dress code? She's a joke and she makes a mockery of marriage.

Sorry - but this deluded 'businesswoman' (what a joke) infuriates me. I wish she'd just p*ss off back where she belongs and stop darkening our screens. I CANNOT believe MTV have given this leech airtime. I Was unfortunate enough to catch 15 minutes of her show and literally could not watch anymore.

Listening to Ms Marsh banging on about 'celebrity weddings going mental - helicopters etc (don't count your chickens love - apparently only 2 people came to one of the auditions - what does that tell you - NO ONE'S INTERESTED IN YOU!!) made me cringe at how she totally lacks any shred of self-awareness.

Let's face it - anyone who makes Jordan look classy and respectable really is residing at the lowest echelon of society.

'Filth' with a capital F.

Sorry - I know I shouldn't write about this woman as publicity and people talking about her is her oxygen but I couldn't hold back. I feel so much better now!!!!
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"Major" mistake by Britains biggest media whore
26 July 2007
I'm grateful for one thing and one thing only - that this woman will now be thousands of miles away on an entirely different continent!!! Yay!!! This programme summed up perfectly just how obsessed Victoria Beckham has become with whoring herself and her family out to the media in the name of self promotion and 'Brand f*cking Beckham'.

A few years ago I used to really like 'Posh and Becks', I still very much admire David's talent, but I have no respect for him anymore. How can you respect someone who has his wife's hand shoved up his backside working him like a puppet.

It was clear the hand of Victoria was all over Beckham's premature departure from Manchester United and now the same thing has happened at Real Madrid. I hope Beckham can live with the fact that although he may be earning squillions of pounds - he's sold his soul for the American Buck and will end his days playing for a team who would struggle to gain promotion from Division One in England (no offence America - but at Baseball and Basketball you rule - football you don't!)

Anyway - I digress. It's been years since I've seen such an over-the-top, entirely false performance from 'Posh' - this being topped only during her cringe worthy red carpet performances following the Rebecca Loos 'debacle', when instead of throwing all the cr*p at David he deserved, she desperately clung onto his arm trying to save the million pound money-spinner her marriage has become.

This whole PR stunt was pathetic. Why can't she just go over there quietly, support her husband through the biggest mistake of his professional career and keep her head down? When did she become so full of self importance that she feels the move to America should be shrouded by this huge fan fare?

Incidentally, I saw the David Beckham documentary last night. At least he has retained a sliver of grace and humility. Two things his wife could do with learning.

One more thing Victoria - you complain about constantly being hounded by the paps. Little hint - stop tipping them off about your whereabouts you stupid woman.

Good Luck America!!
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The Break-Up (2006)
A likable Film
13 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I didn't have particularly high hopes for this film - I'm not a fan of Jennifer Aniston movies, however I was pleasantly surprised. I found the characters very believable (I have finally managed to squash the image of 'Rachel' out of my head!) and I thought Aniston and Vaughan acted out the demise of a long-term relationship very well and with a lot of emotion that actually rang true.

The film displayed just how petty adults can be when they are hurting and trying to shield themselves and how heartbreaking the end of a relationship is.

I thought the ending could be seen a mile off, however I was again very surprised. About 30 minutes from the end I thought it was obvious they were going to stay together and it would all be tied up in a typical, pretty Hollywood-happy-ending package. Amazingly, it didn't - but it was still very touching and most of all - very realistic. I liked this film.
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Big Brother (III) (2000– )
Utter freak-show that should have been stopped after series 3
17 October 2006
I'll confess - I loved the first series of Big Brother. It was a new concept, an interesting experiment and I was glued to it.

Fast forward six years. BB has spawned a generation of low-brow reality TV shows which are putting genuine actors out of work and are responsible for stupid, empty headed people leaving school with no other aspiration but to 'be on tele'.

The contestants on Big Brother are now all-to-aware that when they leave the house the spotlight will be on them. However, what they fail to realise (because they are so vain and self-obsessed) is that once the media have chewed them up and spat them out, they will be consigned to the scrapheap forever, because lets face it - who would employ some freak who is foolish enough to have shown every bad aspect of their personality on national television.

Endemol and Channel 4 should be ashamed of themselves for persisting with BB - which is nothing but a money spinner. They couldn't care less about the welfare of the contestants, a point proved by the fact that this year we have had the worst bunch of idiots yet to grace our screens, including a former anorexic with pretty obvious self-esteem and mental issues. Sick. That poor girls life is going to be destroyed forever and just to Channel 4 could make an easy buck over the quiet Summer period.

BB highlights everything which is bad about society and shows what a tacky, celebrity obsessed place Britain has become.
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16 October 2006
I feel that making a movie out of the atrocities that happened on the 11th September is entirely inappropriate, considering it has been made so relatively soon after it happened.

9/11 is still very fresh in everybody's minds and didn't require a film - especially a film which fails to focus too much on the sadness and grief which followed - instead we get the classic 'Hollywood' ending.

Unlike WW2 films etc, I can remember 9/11 like it happened yesterday - all the news footage etc is still widely available.

This movie has been made to garner profit and that makes me sick - Oliver Stone should be ashamed of himself.
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Glitter (2001)
Makes me want to be sick
13 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I hate this film with a passion. It is merely a showcase for Carey to display her (admittedly impressive) singing abilities and nothing else. The worst thing about this film is that all the way through it you can tell Mariah is taking it sooooo seriously - despite her oh-so-obvious lack of acting ability. The only scene where I suspect no acting was required was during her 'diva-strop' scene.

This film is so bad it makes Spiceworld and Crossroads look like Acadamy Award contenders.

Glitter also has the dubious honour of containing a scene so stomach-churningly nauseating I wanted to throw a brick at the TV. The scene in question is where she's split up with 'Dice' (wave bye-bye to your credibility Max Beesley) and they're both sitting in their individual apartments and she's singing along, coming up with a tune and melody and HEY!!! Whaddya know - across town IN HIS OWN APARTMENT, BEESLEY IS SAT COMING UP WITH THE EXACT SAME MELODY!!! Absolute Bulls**t and an insult to the audience.

Words cannot explain how much I detest this film. It is so hateful I just had to express my anger on here!!! Phew...I feel so much better now.
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Date Movie (2006)
So Bad It's.........Bad
4 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Where's the 'Zero' Vote button, because it's truly needed on this occasion.

After reading the terrible reviews, I watched this on Box Office out of sheer, morbid curiosity. Surely it couldn't be that bad!?!?!? WRONG. It is so bad that after 10 minutes watching it you feel like poking your eyes out.

It's been a long time since a film has been so atrociously bad it has actually made me angry. Yes...that's right...angry!!!! I won't even go into the plot because there wasn't one. The producers might as well have just cut and pasted together the excerpts of the films they were *supposed* to be parodying.

At least with films like 'Not another Teen Movie' and 'Scary Movie' you get some sense of a likable plot line cobbled together from all the films they parody. This film is just a collection of scenes, directly ripped from films like Bridget Jones and Meet the Parents and pasted together.

Whoever commissioned this film should be fired immediately and after that, every single copy of this film should be gathered up, put on a container ship and dumped at the bottom of the Atlantic. Then we can all breathe a sigh of relief and pretend this piece of crap never existed.

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Leonardo DiCaprio's best performance
19 September 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This is an amazing film and in my opinion should be shown to every person of school age to show them the reality of taking hard drugs. In this true story, DiCaprio plays Jim Carroll, a teenager with a promising future as a Basketball Player in front of him. He and his friends take uppers etc for fun, but this soon develops into more serious drug addictions after he and 2 of his friends are thrown off the team when they are caught out one day.

This film really shows the harsh side of drug-taking and that what may start out as a few pills and poppers, can lead to a more destructive path. Mark Wahlberg puts in an excellent performance as Jim's friend and I can honestly say I don't think there is a single cast member who lets this film down.

An honest depiction of drug taking and it's not so glamorous side.
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The final credits sent a chill down my spine
23 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I watched this when it came out and found it an amazing piece of work and kudos to Maxine Peake for shedding her comedy typecast and putting in a truly excellent performance.

This programme was not graphic, quite the opposite. What the producers did was concentrate on the everyday lives of Brady and Hindley, showing them to be, (Hindley on face value at least), normal people living normal lives. However, what chills you is that whilst they are going about their routine lives, the viewer knows that behind the scenes they are committing the most appallingly wicked crimes. This is highlighted by conversations held throughout the programme such as a discussion about a newspaper article that Maureen Smith had with her sister regarding the disappearance of Lesley-Ann Downey.

One of the slightly controversial aspects of this programme, was the decision to include real photographs within the scenery of the actual children who suffered at the hands of this evil pair. However, this was a clever move because it constantly brought home the very real and shocking subject of the programme.

In cases as hideous as this we, quite rightly, hear about the suffering of victims relatives, however See No Evil focused primarily on the destruction of the lives of Hindleys sister and brother-in-law, and God were their lives wrecked. Brady and Hindleys wicked cruelty destroyed many lives and I'm glad this programme was shown because it will all make us pray that Hindley will rot in hell and Brady won't be far behind.
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I love this film!
3 August 2006
As someone who is more into edgy, thriller movies, I would just DIE of embarrassment if anyone I know knew how much I love this film! I don't know why, because it is an eternal cheese-fest, but it is such a feel-good film. I love everything about it from the Whoopi Goldberg and Lauren Hill to the corny storyline. OK, so it's certainly no masterpiece, but it's also no Teenwolf 2 either. I think this is an underrated gem and deserves more than the 4.5 rating it has received. It's worth watching just to hear the amazing voices of some of the individuals involved. I think everyone has a cheesy film they secretly love, and this is definitely mine - just don't tell anyone!!!!
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Grease 2 (1982)
Dear God..... Is this what it's come to?!?!?!
20 July 2006
Despite a brave attempt by Michelle Pfieffer to look as though she isn't hideously embarrassed to be involved with this lame film, her efforts are wasted as the only lesson to be learned from Grease 2 is that you definitely can't polish a turd.

The combination of the appallingly farcical scripts and quite possibly some of the most annoying characters to EVER grace the big screen (step forward Adrian 'Johnny Nogerelli' Zmed) Grease 2 falls on its ass and then some...

I actually can't believe someone signed on the dotted line to finance this pile of crap. The songs are cheesy (the real low point being 'Cool Rider'), the acting is diabolical (as stated, Pfieffer looks embarrassed to be on the screen) and the plot line is, at best, weak. Maxwell Caulfield does a reasonable job and, in my opinion, pulls off his role as the stiff English student, but the rest of them (except Didi Conn who is shamefully under-used) - forget it.

The writers and actors in Grease 2 had huge shoes to fill, as Grease is a classic, however where Grease had a really cute charm to it, Grease 2 just stinks of money grabbing producers cashing in on the name. There is nothing likable about it and whereas the T-Birds and Pink Ladies were cool and funny in the original, in this vile production they are just horrible, nasty and obnoxious.

I've given this a 3 purely on the basis that I think Pfieffer should be given some credit for pulling back her career after starring in this car-crash.
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The Business (2005)
A haemorrhoid in the A*se of the British Film Industry
17 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
It's ironic that this film ends with two of the lead characters swimming around at the entrance to a sewer pipe, because I think that everyone involved with this dud movie is going to find out that s**t definitely sticks.

Another year and another film designed to squeeze the last few drops out of the British Gangster movie genre. Words cannot describe how bad 'The Business' is. It is jam-packed with every tired gangster cliché you could imagine, from the 'snappy' title to the cheesy scraping-the-bottom-of-the-well-worn-barrel dialogue. Take this example - 'he was so hard even his nightmares were afraid of him'. WHAT???? Trust me, it sounds even worse when delivered, in voice-over, by everyones favourite one-trick-pony Danny Dyer. Now don't get me wrong, I like Danny Dyer, but I'm getting sick of his good-hearted villain routine. His repertoire is limited to say the least and I wish he would push himself beyond crap like this. However, he is not the worst. A terrible cast who are held to ransom by an appalling script. This film is a paint by numbers, lazy, cheap imitation of Sexy Beast.

The business has been made to generate a quick buck from the lads mag generation who will no doubt think this film is 'shit-hot'. It's not. There are better films out there. It's scripts are pathetic. There s no real plot to the film - it really has been made for the sake of it. It's one of the worst films I have ever seen and this is from a person who managed to sit through Final Cut.
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Mad Cows (1999)
Truly Awful
14 July 2006
As a big fan of Kathy Lette's early novels, I was so pleased when I heard they were making this into a film. I now hold my hands up and say I really should be shot for not knowing any better!! This film is an absolute stinker. It is jumpy, makes zero sense and has managed to cut all the good stuff out of the book and just leave the crappy bits. The book verges on the ridiculous but always retains its humour - this film doesn't. I can't quite pinpoint what it is I hate so much about it. Actually, yes I can - everything. It's totally ruined the book for me. I've read it since and could not erase the image of a truly terrible performance from Anna 'Beth Jordache' Friel as Maddy. Give this a wide berth.
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