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Mary Queen of Scots (2018)
The Hipster version of Mary the Queen
I'm not sure what negative thing I can add to the many reviews here that tear this travesty apart. The PC nonsense has gone too far, but even taking that complaint away, the script is uninteresting, and the acting mainly poor. Margot shines in her small role, but Ronan is dreadful as Mary. The direction is off and the cinematography is lackluster. Why decide to only partially make the film historical, but update some elements to the issues of today? Why not just create a completely original work of fiction ? The costumes were well done, the only positive to the entire film.
Narration, not a real movie.
I like Steven Yeun and wanted to enjoy this. A real movie tells a story with actors reciting lines from a script, and there are scenes where we get to the know the characters and actions take place. Filmmakers who have no idea of how to tell a story use narration instead. When this movie began with narration by Steven Yeun I thought the audience was just being filled in on the backstory but 29 whole minutes later Yeun is still narrating the movie ! I turned it off. Doesn't anyone know how to make movies anymore ? With the R-rated content this couldn't be aimed at 7 year olds, but you'd have to brain dead to enjoy this slop. What a waste of a likable actor.
Don't be fooled !
I went into this because the subject matter of sex addiction sounded interesting, but could find no reviews , even from critics and no trailer. I made it through 20 minutes and I can see why. If your're expecting to see even a low budget film on sexual addiction as this film claims, forget it. The movie, like some cheap 1950's horror film, even opens with some old man telling the viewing audience this is a film about sexual addiction that may horrify you. What follows is a grainy , student project type film with bad acting, a loud voice-over of the lead actor's conscience and in the 20 minutes I watched, one male bare buttocks and some breasts. There is nothing erotic here, nothing about sexual addiction, just nonsense. The writer and director is also the star and every line he utters is delivered in the same flat monotone as if he were mentally challenged. I fast forwarded through the rest and saw some people wearing masks, a scene where the lead talks to a theater of empty chairs and more poorly filmed grainy scenes of people talking. If you have a craving to watch bad acting from unattractive amateurs shot on no budget with an old camera-phone this is your movie.
London Fields (2018)
Unbearable and Unwatchable
I've sat through all kinds of awful movies to their end because something or someone kept me interested. Some movies are so bad they're fun to watch. Some really bad movies I've given 30 to 40 minutes hoping they might get better but eventually I realized it was pointless and gave up. I made it through only 10 minutes and 41 seconds of London Fields before I said to myself, this is awful and turned it off. I have no idea what the director was going for with the over the top acting, the close-ups, the stupidly of it, but if you're annoyed 10 minutes in, why bother ? Why is Amber Heard the star of anything (well we all know and it's not her acting talent) ? BTW, I was watching the directors cut which many fake reviews here tout as better then the theatrical version. If you worship Amber Heard this is your movie.
The original title of this movie was Shapeshifter, which gives you a better idea of what it is about. A foreign production with mainly American actors including the always excellent Josh Stewart, but even the foreign ones are speaking English. As a horror movie goes it's OK, the acting is decent, there are scares, gore, some thrills, just not enough of any of these things. It doesn't stand out as being anything really different from so many other horror movies today, and is completely forgettable. The Shapeshifter creature is excellent though, a genuinely frightening creation. It seems some money was spent on effects, this isn't a movie where monsters look like a rubber mask from a dollar store. Just a shame they didn't add in more scares and a more coherent script. By the time it ended on a somewhat preposterous note, I'm still not sure what was going on. 6 stars for being somewhat interesting, not a bore, a great monster, and a cut above the many low budget horror films floating around.
Not the worst horror.................
This is one of those low-budget, non-Hollywood horror productions that gets by as moderately interesting , but leaves no lasting impression. It isn't frightening, but mildly entertaining in a "I have nothing else to do" way. The acting was OK, there wasn't anything offensive or stupid about it, it wasn't a so bad it's funny movie, it was just overall lackluster. At the very least Mandela Van Peebles is an attractive leading actor and Kanao Goo is nice-looking and plays his part well, but there is little other reason to watch this.
The Final Wish (2018)
Poor on every level
I believe I read some people connected to the Final Destination films had a hand in this, but the only connection I see is the word "Final" and Tony Todd in a very small role. He's a good actor and so is Lin Shaye, at least they're pros, but the other actors in this are awful, I mean "reading off a cue card" bad. The script stinks, the plot is the too-often done "be careful what you wish for", the editing is bad and the direction is so amateurish you can almost hear the director yell action. The lead character is completely unlikable. The camera work is unremarkable. While Michael Welsh is particularly uninteresting in the lead , Melissa Bolona deserves a special mention for some of the worst acting ever committed to film. Some of her dialogue is delivered as if her mouth were numb. This movie has absolutely no redeeming qualities, except maybe for a chuckle or two I got from how bad it was. 2 stars for 2 chuckles.
Perfect Skin (2018)
Interesting but flawed
There is no doubt this is an interesting little indie film with great cinematography and a stand-out performance by Richard Brake as a tattoo artist looking to create his perfect work of art. It certainly is not boring. The movie though has all the depth of a porn film and is edited at times with the quick cuts used in music videos, an attempt to be stylish that doesn't always work. There is zero depth to the characters and no real development. For a thriller, there was no suspense. The gore, which appears to be done the old fashioned way, without CGI is excellent. Worth a watch though for Brake and the transformation of the lead actress, along with how beautifully it is shot, it just needed more of a story.
Den skyldige (2018)
A bad idea , done poorly
If you've read enough reviews of this film, you will know the entire film is an officer in a police dispatch station talking on the phone. The plot centers around a call he receives. These phone films (there have been others) and computer films aren't all that interesting to begin with and as a moviegoer I need more. The actors are always applauded for their acting but is it really that hard to act when you're not actually doing anything but talking on the phone ? The lead actor in this is decent but I guessed every twist in the plot beforehand. There was an absurdity to the whole story, and even the situation. The fact that they tried to turn it into some morality play made it not only bad, but insulting. If someone talking on the phone for 90 minutes is your thing, this is the movie for you.
The Hole in the Ground (2019)
Could have been better, an interesting bore.
This movie had many positive elements, great cinematography, fine acting , spooky atmosphere and the horror movie soundtrack . Unfortunately it came completely undone by being too slow, not very exciting or scary and didn't really have much of a story. Everything in this movie seemed to have been taken from some other better horror movie. While Seana Kerslake is very convincing in the lead role, so much of the movie is just close-ups of her face. It doesn't help that at times when in real life there would be dialogue between characters, there isn't any here. Scenes with not much happening go on too long. Horror films need more then just atmosphere and I'm sick of the phrase "slow burn" to describe films that are in fact just " slow and boring ".
French Garbage cinema pretending to be art
A bunch of dancers have a really bad drug trip and that is the entire plot to this movie if you can even call it a movie. We are introduced to the dancers in sequences that go on way too long. After that it's people writhing around, moaning, screaming and crying and for the most part nothing else at all. The camera rotates and films scenes upside down. At times you can't even tell what's going on , on screen. There is no editing. There is plenty of over-acting. Swirling camera work doesn't make up for the fact that there is no story and the entire movie is a bore set to dance music. Gather all your friends in a room , stand in the middle of it shaking the camera at them while they pretend to be lunatics and you'll recreate whatever this is. Maybe this was an experiment in how much stupidity an audience can endure ?
An ex-con returns home after many years to investigate his mother's death which he doesn't believe is a suicide. On the surface that is the plot, and the problem with this film is there just isn't enough of a plot or real action to sustain the movie and keep it interesting. On the other hand, there are enormous pluses to this movie, including realistic dialogue and spectacular acting from every member of the cast. Jack Kesy is perfect as this big lumbering outcast of a son, filled with rage and hate. The real story of a broken family , played out against the backdrop of a desolate small town is filmed in a sparse, non-Hollywood way that is completely appropriate to the story. The direction and cinematography are top-notch, the story itself just a needed something more because the majority of this movie is just a collection of scenes of characters expressing their disappointment and hatred of one another. Still worth a watch for all the performances and especially Jack Kesy.
Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
Incredible waste of talent, complete garbage
I went into this only having heard it was some type of horror film and because of the cast involved. Horrible would be a better description. With unlikable caricatures of people involved in the making and selling of high end art with some supernatural hocus pocus thrown in, a script that takes stabs at being witty and falls completely flat, no suspense, and no horror this is boring drivel that drags on and on. Except for John Malkovich, who is actually understated here, all the actors give overblown, over the top hammy performances that are only outdone by how awful they look. Is Jake 50 ? HD cinematography certainly isn't doing these actors any favors and it's so easy to dwell on how bad everyone looks when there is nothing of interest going on , on screen. I have no idea what audience this would be aimed at. It's like an incredibly bad, poorly written episode of the Twilight Zone. What were all these fairly well-known , well respected actors thinking in making this ? This movie is the equivalent to a pile of rusty cans soldered together and covered with toilet paper and smiley faces at an art gallery.
End of the World (2018)
a few chuckles at how bad this is.........
I only watched this because I knew it would be awful (it was) but was hoping to get a good laugh out of it, but unfortunately other then a few laughs at the preposterous dialogue and situations, this is not all that interesting. The acting is awful, the CGI is below mediocre and the end of the world never seemed so dull. Because they obviously couldn't afford to pay lots of actors, this is one of those movies where when an office building is about to collapse, 3 people run out. Los Angeles appears to have a population of 16 . There are long stretches of nonsense dialogue. Would anyone discuss burritos while running from mass destruction ? Or in this case not running but casually strolling away from mass destruction ? Why would anyone make this movie ?
El Ángel (2018)
Maybe not a masterpiece, but this is a terrific movie with a homoerotic bent that is entertaining, terrifically acted, and beautifully filmed. A kind of Argentinian Bonnie and Clyde, if Bonnie were a pretty curly haired boy instead. Some people may find the story offensive, including humor in a movie filed with crime and death might not appeal to some, but this is the kind of great film Hollywood doesn't make. Worth it just for the performance of Lorenzo Ferro as The Angel.
Destruction Los Angeles (2017)
a Disastrous Disaster movie
Los Angeles is hit by a natural disaster in this ludicrous low-budget bomb that I can only assume was produced for some obscure TV channel. With mediocre special effects that are at least better then the script and acting, this gets 2 stars instead of 1 because it is at times so bad it is funny. Conversations take place that would never happen when you are running for your life. Characters range from annoying to "die already". The actors are so bad they might as well be played by cardboard characters. I've seen more emotion displayed in cartoons. The type of silly disaster film that might entertain an 8 year old on a snow day because there isn't any gore or anything adult here. I feel sorry for the people who starred in this, I assume they are actors but after watching this, I'm not sure.
Beautiful Boy (2018)
Drug Addiction gets the Hollywood Music video treatment
I did not read the books this was based on and didn't even know it was based on real characters going in. I do very much know about the world of drug addiction and there are many parts of this movie that ring true, I have lived them. it's because of this that I almost find this movie offensive in it's treatment of a very real and serious issue. Shot beautifully, with scenes of sunlight streaming through trees and waves crashing and art work and beautiful homes, was any of this appropriate to a movie about a young man's descent into serious drug addiction ? Even worse, instead of real dialogue there were countless scenes with no dialogue but loud music, as if this really were a music video and not a movie. The entire film is kind of disjointed, as if the people behind it could not decide who or what to concentrate on , making the film at times confusing. This story required a straight and gritty and realistic telling, instead it got just the opposite. Carell and Chalamet seem to be trying their best , but failed, I never believed them as their characters and while Chalamet seemed to be doing better as the addict, he never looked like anything less then a thin male model with gorgeous hair. Hollywood nowadays seems to destroy every story it touches. From beginning to end this movie hit every wrong note.
State Like Sleep (2018)
more like "Put You to sleep"
Unbearably slow and pointless, this was a boring mess with an unappealing lead actress and a waste of time for 3 talented actors, Michael Shannon, Luke Evans, and Michael Huisman. 1 hour and 44 minutes of Katherine Waterston moping her way through a film about.................well, I don't know what it was about. Maybe it was about grief ? Being loved ? People who cheat on their spouses ? Domineering mothers ? It is hard to watch a film when the lead character is completely unlikable and seems brain-dead. One of those movies with lots of shots that linger on for an eternity and characters do and say things that seem completely unrealistic. There is suppose to be some air of mystery to it and believe me there really isn't, when it ended I just thought "That's it ?". Not even worth a look if you're a fan of any of the 3 actors. I kind of felt like i was being tortured and left the theater in a bad mood !
The further decline of civilization on display
I feel like I'm putting my life on the line by writing this, but while I can appreciate Taylor, I don't understand the great reviews for this film of her show. Since it is a film of her concert , I'm reviewing the actual show, not the film itself which seems well done, but in 2018 this is what is considered talent ? Back-up singers doing most of the singing ? Dancers, acrobatics, giant props, multiple stages, all to cover up the fact that Taylor is minimally talented, and this is just a Las Vegas type show blown up to stadium proportions ? People in the audience crying at scripted speeches ? She has some good songs, but how many people behind the scenes did it take to get them to that point ? She mentions the literally hundreds of people behind the scenes it took to put this tour together. I appreciate that she doesn't come across as so many other female singers of today do, as crass and perverted , but this film proves what her critics have said all along, she isn't a great talent and like most of today's big "singers" , she's just manufactured. If you are a big Taylor fan you will love this movie. I liked her music to a point, saw this film and came away disappointed that there really isn't anything great here. I wouldn't watch it again.
How do you turn these famous Axe murders into a bore ??
I loved the take on this story with Elizabeth Montgomery many years ago. I also enjoyed the recent version with Christina Ricci. If you enjoyed either of those, I would recommend skipping this version. The idea of taking these grisly murders and adding a Lesbian Feminist twist might have seemed like a good idea, but in the end they somehow managed to make it bland and a bore. The performances are very good from all the major actors except by Kirsten Stewart, who spends the entire movie looking like she's going to vomit, she really is a one-note actress. Even with the good performances, there just isn't much to the script. Nothing stands out here, the cinematography, the direction, the dialogue, it's all washed out and dull. For long stretches I was struggling to stay awake. The movie seems much more concerned with turning this into some type of "impossible for the times" love affair and the story of Lizzie Borden is already fascinating. A lifeless, dead on arrival production.
Secret Santa (2018)
A funny, sick, gory Christmas tale
Secret Santa is one of the blackest most depraved Christmas flicks I have ever seen and I loved it. If sweet, wholesome tales of Christmas turn your stomach and you're in the mood to both laugh, gag and scream this is your movie. Well cast and well acted, an extended family gathers for a Christmas dinner that you will not easily forget. Obviously low budget, but well written, the insults and plenty of gore fly. Thoroughly enjoyable from beginning to end. My only complaint would be that the cinematography left something to be desired, the film is a bit too high contrast and could have been better lit. Some of the dialogue also could have been better recorded, but it's still a fun ride and not one for children.
Beyond The Sky (2018)
A good idea, but not well realized.
The idea behind this film was interesting, a man who believes alien abductions are not real and just something people dream up to cover more painful truths, sets about debunking the myth of these alien abductions. Had the movie been well written and directed it might have worked, and although the actors give it their all, only some succeed while others seem to be hamming it up. Characters go about doing things that advance the plot but make no sense. The entire production seems kind of hokey, and I never believed in anything I was watching. He's suppose to be making a documentary ? Didn't believe it. A romance ? Contrived . All I ever felt in watching this was that I was watching a poorly made low budget film, even down to casting an actor who appears to be Oriental as an American Indian. Fake, predictable and just plain stupid.
Glass Jaw (2018)
I made it through about 15 to 20 minutes of this movie before giving up, it is that bad, the acting, the script, the actors themselves. This is not a professional production, everything about it screams amateur and so amateur it is painful to watch. I love boxing movies but this is awful ! the words "cheesy" and "tacky" come to mind. You will notice there are many high ratings and reviews for this movie, notice too that they are mainly only a few lines long, and the rating of 8.5 on this site, when many Hollywood classics don't even have a rating above an 8 ? I don't think I have seen as many fake reviews and fake ratings for any bad movie on here the way this one has. That alone should tell you how bad this movie really is.
an Over the Top Gorefest !
If you like your thriller/slasher/horror films over the top, without regard to political correctness , this is the movie for you. There isn't much of a story and the dialogue could have been better, but for sheer madness, this movie is a deranged masterpiece and is sure to become a cult classic.With a cast that includes a pretty boy Latino,a one armed cowboy, a bodybuilding woman, a beauty queen, a clown, a bus full of seniors and many muscular men, this entire movie is like one cruel but very enjoyable joke.
Attack of the Tattie-Bogle (2017)
a movie ?
At an hour long, this isn't quite a movie, and there isn't even a story. The strange part is, there was some character development although the acting is all over the place and it had a slight potential to be a cheaply done indie horror but it just doesn't succeed on any level. Imagine taking any horror/slasher script and the director filming just some of the scenes, people running around, and no explanation as to why anything is going on and then forgetting to film an ending.
It also looks like it was shot on an old video camera and sounds even worse, many garbled scenes. There is low budget and no budget and then there is this. One surprise, the background music was well done. An hour wasted.