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Yardie (2018)
3 September 2018
Like I said,,,awful. So many things wrong here .

There was nothing good here at all..everything was at best mediocre and after about 65 minutes I'd had enough and left the theatre.

In all honesty I hadn't heard much about this but went in just to see Stephen Graham...alas even the great man was unable to save this shockingly bad attempt.

Everything here is all about how not to make movies. Very poor directing with no believable performances..stupid plot...I sometimes couldn't understand half of the dialogue...should have supplied subtitles. Camera work was basic and tepid.

Whoever gave Elba money to make this must have owed him a huge debt. Only the 3rd movie I have walked out on in my 50 years of going to see movies.

Watch this at your peril...awful, awful movie.
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wasted potential
25 August 2018
Having never read the books I can never say if it's true to the page or not i can only give my feelings about the movie.

For me it was a terrible waste of a great British tradition. Awful direction and very lackluster script with wooden acting made this a very tiring and boring visit to the theatre.

Looking around I noticed all the children ware fed up after 20 minutes...and the adults followed shortly after.

Put it against the excellent Paddington 2 and the difference becomes apparent. No fun at all here really...maybe the odd giiggle... no slapstick and chicanery in this one...Paddington 2 was full of it.

All in all a waste of entrance money...if I were you i would take the cheaper and better option of watching P2 again at home.
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The Meg (2018)
11 August 2018
I knew exactly what I was letting myself in for when I sat down to see this.

But I didn't expect it to be THIS bad. The acting was worse then bad...the action was awful...the direction lazy..the script was laughable...plot line very bad...even the name was stupid.

How on earth this muppet is still making movies will always be a sense of wonder to me. He has NOTHING.

I did notice a few nods to "Jaws" DARE VERY dare they.

A really , really bad 90 odd minutes here. Complete waste of time.
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Seriously Impossible
26 July 2018
How we have got to number 6 in this series is due to one reason and one reason only...Tom Cruise.

The guy really knows what the audience wants and as you will see from the action sequences he gives much more than he should. Everybody else circles around his superstar gravity and he pulls them all in for the ride.

Absolutely breath taking camera work , stunts and action sequences make this the best mission ever....they just keep getting better and better. The thing that stands out for me is the way it keeps it's tongue firmly in it's cheek and yet somehow draws on modern day issues and fears.

Take a Bond movie..The Man From U.N.C.L.E, Lethal Weapon, any Heist movie....put them all together and you get this summers big, BIG movie.

Everybody works perfectly and Henry Cavill is class as a good guy or a bad guy...fantastic 2 hours 25 minutes of unadulterated and brilliant film making. you can't miss this.
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Hereditary (2018)
Some people don't understand it.
16 June 2018
Looking at the reviews , this is a love it or hate it affair.Personally I loved it.

The performances were all excellent and the direction was very well thought out. I must say that some of the images here were among the most twisted I have ever seen since "The Witch"(2015)..which appears to have come from the same stable.

Problem is these days everybody expects a twist that will make everything clear...but some of us prefer to work it out rather than have narrative spoon fed to us. Excellent use of light and shade and at just over 2 hours was an ideal run time.

Also I have noticed some reviewers saying if you like this you're wrong and don't know what they are talking about...i would say the opposite is more the case...some people just cannot understand that a good script keeps you thinking and make up a few things yourself as you see it. These people should just probably stick to Star Wars or movies of that ilk.

Very good ...the average score says it all really. Not really a horror...more of a macabre thriller..take you're 15 year old kids to see it and watch their faces.
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Rampage (2018)
As expected
15 April 2018
Warning: Spoilers
When you see Dwayne in the credits I think it's fair to say you know what you're in for. Don't expect great acting with a well thought out premise and a good script.. Don't expect a life changing movie or a classic.. Don't expect top notch performances.. Just sit back and take in the silliness. Every scene we have seen a million times before..most of the time a lot better done and a few times not. CGI laden from start to finish with probably the daftest ending ( which took an awfully long time to come) of all time. Maybe a few scenes a bit too much for younger children as you actually see people being eaten here..but all in all a dollop of 3D silliness and popcorn munching viewing.
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A Quiet Place (2018)
Edge of your seat stuff
12 April 2018
Firstly , I notice reviewers either love this or hate this, which I can understand. Reasons being there are a lot of plot holes and situations but when a movie is made about monsters and suchlike then plot holes are essential otherwise there is no story..understand!! Imagine a film about King Kong and the plot hole is there is no such thing as a massive over...

Back to the movie...just go in and enjoy it for what it is..a thriller very well put together and drains you of all your nerve endings for 90 minutes.

Very well directed and filmed as good as it can be it takes a new and fresh look at the genre. Put me in mind of 10 Cloverfield Lane last doesn't give you any more information than you need to know and takes you along for the ride. I also must say that Emily Blunt is fantastic in this and carries the whole movie. The last 10 minutes are heart poundingly tense and it finishes with a jolt.

Well worth the money and satisfies throughout. Must add I have been reviewing movies on this site for 5 years and am not a robot!!!
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1 April 2018
Reading many reviews some say it's not as good as the book... the book is a completely different form of a story and the two should never be put up against each other. it's actually a masterpiece of film making for 3 reasons. 1. It's filmed perfectly and uses every single use of a camera and CGI you could imagine. Saw this at the O2 Superscreen in London and it is a visually perfect experience.

2. Direction..Spielberg suspends belief and throws common sense out of the window and wants us all to go along with the flow. Look at his past movies...Sharks...Poltergeists..Dinosaurs..Russian Spies..Aliens...Nazis...he likes to tell stories..and there is nobody better at it. 3. It reaches all ages..,.something for everybody..

Stop reading silly comments and get your popcorn and drink and just enjoy a stunning two odd hours of pure joy in a modern day classic.

Also ..for all the people who prefer the book..I would say this...if you don't like what he's done....get a couple of million dollars and do better...or stop whingeing!!!
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Peter Rabbit (2018)
Save your money
26 March 2018
If I were you i would avoid this like the plague.

Characters and really horrible and the sound of Cordens voice just grates.

The laughs come from only violence and the sugar coated script makes you think kids are stupid these days.

Terrible terrible writing and direction...nobody in the theatre laughed once and could not wait to get away.

Terribl terrible and annoying waste of time.
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I, Tonya (2017)
Great Skates
27 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Went in blind to this one..seen the trailer but didn't look the content up as I knew it was a kind of Mockumentary so didn't want to know the facts.

What I watched was one of the top movies of the year , Three Billboards being my top.

All roles were acted out perfectly..a lot of reviews say the mother runs away with it but for me Margot Robbie gets everything right and is spot on. I could even forgive her for Suicide Squad after this.

Funny and sad at the same time took us on a sad and brilliant journey through the life of a nobody who became an everybody then back to a nobody again.

Don't know how true it was to the facts and that's why I never studied it before..which made it better.

Went to see the abysmal Black Panther last week and gave it a 2 out of ten..this deserved an 8 and is well worth a trip the the cinema.
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18 February 2018
So here we have a copy of suicide squad.

Even the poster uses the same colours and style to sell the they expect us to make a mistake and think this is really suicide squad????

that'll never happen.

The thing for me is was made on a budget of almost nothing...bad acting...bad EVERYTHING....

so I ask this.... what is Suicide Squads excuse?? Millions put into it with some big names...and it's as bad as this rubbish.

Both as bad as each other to be honest!!
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Typical butler
5 February 2018
Like I said...typical Butler...

I fail to see why he's allowed to make movies. He cannot act and he has no screen presence whatsoever.

This is a shameful waste of good movie making money spent on this rubbish.

I deserve an oscar for sitting till the end. It tries to be clever but falls flat and is like a clip movie of other movies like Heat and Triple 9 .

Ridiculous gun scenes and muscles galore with a nice batch of testosterone makes this a movie only men will dislike.

Don't's just not worth leaving home for.
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Cold and cheap
11 January 2018
Settled down to watch this as good drama with a dose of crime.Left the theatre feeling cold and robbed of time.

All seemed rushed and stuck together...not one single good performance...with Wahlberg just totally miscast..unsure of why they picked him for the role..he was useless and should stick to daddys home and transformers.

very quiet in the cinema ..credits rolled and the place emptied immediately..if not quicker. Nothing here to hold any attention with a script as silly as they come.The awkward direction didn't help .

A forgettable night out ...better luck tomorrow !!
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Hostiles (2017)
Dull and messy
9 January 2018
Firstly, a few reviews hold this alike to Josey Wales and Unforgiven..this is of course utter nonsense...not even in the same category.

Very messy and cliched...with lukewarm performances all around.

Bale has done nothing good for many a year and Rosie has very little to do. Some of the situations were farcical and the direction was only ever basic at best. All the cast mumbled along while the director held up the lens to their faces for a full 133 minutes. The sad thing is I expected much, much more and left the cinema hungry for a movie that never came. Much better stuff around at the moment so I wouldn't bother if I were you
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A Christmas Gift
27 December 2017
If anybody takes any notice of a so called professional critic...then more fool them.Just like us they watch the movies and probably too many of them...they get cold and paralyzed to see never EVER listen!!..anyway....

After christmas and all the nonsense in the name of Christ this was the best antidote ever..marvelously luscious in every way. This is what film making is all about...enthralling from start to finish, with a soundtrack that out does La La Land...strong words I know but trust does.

Sad thing is as we walked through the foyer there was lines of fools queuing up to watch the newest episode in the awful " Star Bores" saga..imagine a trip to the movies on Boxing Day only to find yourself missing out on a modern day classic to a Sci Fi pile up.

all concerned to a fantastic job and direction is superb..only issue is we could have done with an extra 30 minutes to hear about the performers stories...hence the 9 instead of 10.

If this was made 50 or so years ago it would still be being watched now...but alas thanks to peoples choices now it will just be another movie...and how sad that is.

Leave the rest alone this week guys...and treat yourself to the experience of the cinema at it's to but the soundtrack.
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The Foreigner (2017)
Mr Bond...we've been expecting you.
19 December 2017
Good revenge thriller...not really an action movie and keeps you wondering all the way.

Great performance from he fights as a tired 60 year old would..that comes across quite clearly.

Good bit of political history thrown in and police politics brewed to enjoy.

For me what this shows is how brilliant an actor Pierce Brosnan is..what a shame he got embroiled in the 007 nonsense..for me he carried it all off. In last years " No Escape"..he showed us how good he can be at holding a movie as a part player..and he did the same here. Well worth a watch just for his performance.
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16 December 2017
Went into the cinema after booking online and on the way in passed all the Star Bores fans clutching their tickets and mountains of popcorn and nachos and just settled myself down in a nice comfortable seat.

The difference in my demeanor and those other fools was obvious on leaving...they had just suffered overacted bilge with no plot lines and awful direction...and I had done exactly the same...but mine was meant to be that.

Never seen a movie where not much happened but with so much class...remarkable in it's honest simplicity..I was glued to the screen with a grin from ear to ear.Outstanding performances all round with everybody getting in on the joke.The last scene was a joy to behold.

this is exactly the opposite of what the sheep in the foyer went to see and it stayed with me for days. Also..I think it's a shame that come Oscars time James Franco will be in my opinion this is the performance of the year.

just goes to show that you don't need the Hollywood strange elite to make wonderful cinema.

Give star bores a miss and get this on the big screen.
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9 December 2017
I can't tell you how bad this is.

Badly directed..badly acted...badly everything.

Jack Black is as funny as a dose of cholera and everybody else is just as bad.

Total silence in the cinema.

Takes nothing at all from the original except the name and gets it wrong from the off.

With the slight exception of Gillian..never before have a bad bunch of "actors" been paid over the odds.

What a wretched...wretched piece this is!!
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What now Zack?
21 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
in my opinion, Man of Steel was the best of the trio..a good origin movie with proper character build. BvS was good..but 2 superheroes (then 3) tended to take away the super ..this was , for me, a chance missed.

Zack Snyder is by no means a good director..he is just bringing the story to the screen in a way he sees it...and that's fine. But,,when you try to outdo yourself the sillier you get. The movie isn't's a great movie for the big's just when the story tries to outdo the characters it never really works.

Take Wonderwoman for instance..brilliantly put together as a one off story..perfectly directed with just enough of everything and never had to outdo could quite easily take this from the DC world and it would still work for both.

The extra heroes never had time to gel and we didn't know much about them. Perhaps they should have had their origin movies before this??

Let down by a terrible bad guy and some very dodgy efx..but I still liked it.

Now comes the spoiler beware..the way they brought supes alive was a bit daft..if that was all it took then why didn't they just plug him into the national grid?? But there you go!

The last thing is where now for Zack?? should be interesting!!
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Paddington 2 (2017)
12 November 2017
For starters ..I have given a 10 for this as a family movie and nothing else.

As family movies go you won't get better. A delight from start to finish with everything you could possibly .baddies..robbery ...everything.

Everybody hams it up perfectly..and also some of the direction and animation is actually very awesome.

Perfect family trip to the cinema here for young and old.

One thing to the drama of the Weinstien troubles...some expected a boycott here..nothing of it at all..the theatre was rammed at every showing..I don't know what that tells us but I thought it was worth mentioning!!
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9 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Being a holder of an unlimited cinema card I usually see everything on the screen and because my 14 year old daughter also has one, I tend to let her choose and watch the so - called " bigger" movies..DC , Marvel, Pixel...etc...but I sneaked into this on my own one night because it was raining and it just blew me away!!

As well as a brilliant history lesson it had me open mouthed at the way it gave comedy and nausea at the same time. The things that were happening in the background while comedy was ongoing was nothing short of can something be funny AND horrendous at the same time?

Brilliant in the most basic form of film making...with outstanding performances all around..also it shows up in a tiny way what it must have been like to have to review every word before it left your lips.

For me Jason Isaccs steals it as a Yorkshire Russian with a thirst for action..Fantastic.

Alas this will be nowhere to be seen at the awards but get this on the big screen where it belongs..give the "biggies" a rest this week and grab a proper piece of film making!
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Jigsaw (I) (2017)
26 October 2017
Noticed a 7.8 on this...that is of course ridiculous...and here's why..

I cannot understand why movies like this are made...who exactly are they aimed at?? I would have thought 25 years ago before internet and on the back of slasher VHS tapes there was a market...but surely not these days.

Totally banal and overdone with the gore...acting is a joke and the direction is lazy and childish. the dialogue is shockingly bad and the cast are incapable of anything higher than 1 dimensional. i mean seriously...who needs regurgitated waste of money movies like this.I find it hard to believe somebody threw a script at a producer like this and they actually threw cash at this.

I challenge anybody to tell me who this is aimed at...not even 15 year old girls would be scared of this. Seen it using my unlimited card...if not I would have demanded my money back...instead I need my 90 minutes back. where on earth did it get a 7.8 from with just 1 review..I think this needs to be investigated...and this will be rush released to cash in for Christmas.As things go it doesn't get worse than this. AWFUL , AWFUL MOVIE.
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Hannibal (2001)
Love it or hate it
23 October 2017
Firstly..I think Lecter is the champion of all screen baddies...somebody who would eat your living flesh is, for me, the ultimate horror.

Secondly...don't think of it as a sequel and hold it against SOTL, because that was all about Starling...this is about it's not a sequel...just an opening of a bit part from the 1st movie.

While the 1st movie dealt with the horror and misgivings of the bad guy...this dealt with the horror and misgivings of the good guys...and pointed out there's not much difference in them both.

Beautifully acted and very well directed...this delves more into the wheres and not the whys...some of the dialogue is fantastic while dealing with sexism and office bullying.

For me, Tony Hopkins dominated the 1st movie without hardly being in it....and he does the same again with a lead role. I also think in both movies the women are very strong characters..and that adds to the realism about Lecters lack of his mother in his life...if that makes sense. The violence is almost invisible , which makes me wonder why it was an 18 cert in the U.K..

Excellent storytelling with excellent performances all round. I look at the average score and I notice very lows and very I said in my either love it or hate it...I loved it and will watch and watch again.
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Geostorm (2017)
21 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Anybody wishing to make a career in movies should watch this....and do the exact opposite.

Everything about this is wrong.Terrible script..terrible direction...terrible acting ..terrible plot RIDICULOUS plot many things wrong if you know anything about movies.

Tried to make a human story out of this but failed time and time again.

Butler is, as usual, wooden..Garcia is uninterested and could , and has, done far better.What the hell Ed Harris is doing in this is beyond me..I saw him in " Mother" recently and " The Right Stuff" and " Glengarry" show us how great he is...then he turns up in this pile of rubbish.

Saving the world with 3 seconds to go is so 1960's..

Recommended if you have nothing else to do or a cancelled lobotomy..but not a good experience.
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The Ritual (I) (2017)
Stick to the road
18 October 2017
Never read up on this so went in blind.

What I found was tense and well done affair that gave as much as it promised.Kept up the tension all the way and some of the cinematography and audio really brought the theatre to life.

Able acting all the way through and had just enough jumps to stop it getting predictable. Well directed and great script...some of the banter was really well done and made us all giggle.

The set pieces containing flashbacks and hallucinations were very very well done. I've read some reviews about a so called silly ending, bur for me I thought the ending was in the vain of the movie.

It brought back to me last years Blair Witch with the camera- work..did i see that? ..what was that ?? Very well done indeed. Well worth a trip with your partner as they will be clung to you from the off set. Will keep an eye on the director for more. I gave it a 6 and not a 7 because of the wasn't silly but maybe could have explained a bit more.
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